Donald Trump has already said plenty of things to make people look up just how that 25th Amendment is supposed to work, but this interview with Fox Business News’ Maria Bartiromo is loopier than a Ferris wheel on meth.
There’s Trump’s modest take on his progress.
We have done so much for so many people. I don't think that there is a presidential period of time in the first 100 days where anyone has done nearly what we've been able to do.
But that’s not the crazy part. Because there’s the how Jim Comey saved Hillary bit.
Don't forget, when Jim Comey came out, he saved Hillary Clinton. People don't realize that. He saved her life, because — I call it Comey won. And I joke about it a little bit.
But that’s not the crazy part. No. The crazy part … is the chocolate cake.
TRUMP: I was sitting at the table. We had finished dinner. We're now having dessert. And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen and President Xi was enjoying it.
And I was given the message from the generals that the ships are locked and loaded, what do you do?
What you do, if you’re Donald Trump, is conduct foreign policy in a way that would leave the Marx Brothers flabbergasted. Come inside, as Donald Trump tries to make death by chocolate a literal thing. …
TRUMP: I was sitting at the table. We had finished dinner. We're now having dessert. And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen and President Xi was enjoying it.
And I was given the message from the generals that the ships are locked and loaded, what do you do?
And we made a determination to do it, so the missiles were on the way. And I said, Mr. President, let me explain something to you. This was during dessert.
We've just fired 59 missiles, all of which hit, by the way, unbelievable, from, you know, hundreds of miles away, all of which hit, amazing.
BARTIROMO: Unmanned? Brilliant.
Because manned missiles are so old school.
TRUMP: It's so incredible. It's brilliant. It's genius. Our technology, our equipment, is better than anybody by a factor of five. I mean look, we have, in terms of technology, nobody can even come close to competing.
Now we're going to start getting it, because, you know, the military has been cut back and depleted so badly by the past administration and by the war in Iraq, which was another disaster.
The technology two months ago? Terrible! Now? Brilliant!
TRUMP: So what happens is I said we've just launched 59 missiles heading to Iraq and I wanted you to know this. And he was eating his cake. And he was silent.
BARTIROMO: (INAUDIBLE) to Syria?
TRUMP: Yes. Heading toward Syria.
You know he said Iraq to Xi. You know he did. Or maybe Iran. Or … pick anywhere but Syria.
TRUMP: In other words, we've just launched 59 missiles heading toward Syria. And I want you to know that, because I didn't want him to go home. We were almost finished. It was a full day in Palm Beach. We're almost finished and I — what does he do, finish his dessert and go home and then they say, you know, the guy you just had dinner with just attacked a country?
This is how you turn dessert into a dick-measuring contest, in one easy lesson from Donald Trump.
BARTIROMO: How did he react?
TRUMP: So he paused for 10 seconds and then he asked the interpreter to please say it again. I didn't think that was a good sign.
And he said to me, anybody that uses gases — you could almost say or anything else — but anybody that was so brutal and uses gases to do that young children and babies, it's OK.
BARTIROMO: He agreed.
TRUMP: He was OK with it. He was OK.
But what about the cake? Did he say anything about the cake?