Anybody here remember when international trips by heads of state were treated with a certain decorum and dignity? Meetings on the tarmac, handshakes, flowers for the First Lady, little kids looking cute? Then all of the pomp and elegance of a state dinner. This should make you crave for those good old days.
Apparently the Saudi’s did their homework on Trump. Someone from the Saudi government obviously scouted Trump, and did nailed the research, telling his bosses that if it didn’t look like there should be a commercial in the middle of it, Trump’s interest level would be underwater. This trip is important to the Saudi’s, their own best interests are at stake, so they want him happy. And according to a STORY in Salon, they know exactly how to do it;
The two-day trip to the kingdom will feature visits from an array of peculiar figures such as Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir, who the Associated Press notes has been indicted for war crimes. Fox News host Bret Baier is also expected to deliver a speech, while American country singer Toby Keith will perform a male-only concert in Riyadh, the nation’s capital. The Saudis have also prepared a countdown clock for Trump’s meetings on Saturday on a website that was launched to promote the events.
God knows His Lowness should be BFF’s with al-Bashir by dessert, since Trump loves him dem guys with some blood under their fingernails, but really. Bret Baier and Toby Keith? This is starting to sound like the Republican National Convention, only with a lot more sand. If Mike Flynn puts in a surprise appearance and starts chanting “Lock her UP!”, Saudi women will go into hiding, that kind of talk is no joke over there.
The Saudi’s best interests are of course weapons, and as many of them as they can get their grubby little hands on. Fortunately, Trump only hires the best people to do his negotiating for him, so we’re in good hands;
Despite concerns over human rights within the country, the main focus of his talks “will be on securing more multi-billion dollar military deals, advancing economic ties and isolating Iran.” The arms deal, negotiated by Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser, Jared Kushner, is expected to be one of the largest in history and could total up to $350 billion over the course of 10 years.
Oh, thank goodness. I feel so much better now, knowing that we only cut the best deal to hand over a ton of our most advanced firepower to a bunch of people who are such close partners of ours. And thank the lord and little fishes that Trump is such a strong proponent of Islam. I’ll bet I know what the final selling point was for the deal, Jared probably offered them A-1-C visas if they swung a little cash his family’s way. Relax, what could go wrong on this trip?