You People Have Spoken…
Every now and agin' we revisit our daily C&J polls ("Crosstabs? We don't need no stinkin' crosstabs") and post the results of some of the notable ones to expose the inner workings of the Great Orange Mind. Here, in no particular order are some from the first quarter of 2021:
» Jan. 5 (one day before the Republican insurrection): 100 percent of you believe Republicans would've immediately filed impeachment charges against a Democratic president if he got caught on tape coercing a state Secretary of State to steal an election, as Trump did with Georgia's.
» March 24: Ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines? Yup, say 97 percent of you.
Continued...
» Jan. 18: It did not surprise 94 percent of the Daily Kos community that the amount of election-related misinformation online dropped by over 70% when Trump was banned from Twitter.
» March 1: A resounding 98 percent believe President Biden should listen to tribal leaders and conservationists by dismantling parts of the border wall built circa 2017-2021 that encroach on vulnerable ecosystems and tribal lands.
» Jan 13: When it comes to the 75-day gap between election day and inauguration day, 72 percent would definitely shorten it, and another 17 percent are open to the idea.
» Feb. 18: How stupid is it for Texas to maintain a power grid separate from the rest of the country just to avoid federal safety regulations? According to 94 percent of you, “beyond stupid.”
» March 23: A Heritage Foundation lawyer says D.C. doesn't deserve statehood because residents there already influence Congress with their yard signs and bumper stickers. You'll be happy to know that 99 percent of you disagree with that.
» March 9: When it comes to how we greet each other in a post-pandemic world, 59 percent favor a societal phase-out of the handshake in favor of the fist- or elbow-bump. 23 percent disagree.
» Feb. 16: Only 1 percent of you unpatriotic heathen bought a mattress on Presidents’ Day.
» March 30: What??? Only 13 percent of you rated President Biden's infrastructure plan as "good"? Yes. Because 35 percent were busy rating it "excellent" while another 42 percent were rating it "Wow!"
» And on March 15, 66 percent of you believed we should abolish polls that ask you what you think of Daylight Saving Time.
As always, we bow to your superior ability to have opinions on stuff.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Monday, April 5, 2021
Note: Please (remember]; Only you can help preven&t punctuation, a’buse?
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of Ramadan: 7
Biden's and Trump's average approval among all polls by this point in their presidencies, according to FiveThirtyEight's daily calculation: 54%, 39%
Number of major companies, including target, Snapchat, and Uber, who issued a statement Friday warning Republicans not to f*ck around with Americans' voting rights: 100
Percent of Republicans polled by Pew in 2018 and 2021, respectively, who believe it should be as easy as possible for Americans to vote: 48%, 28%
Percent of Democrats polled by Pew in 2018 and 2021, respectively, who believe it should be as easy as possible for Americans to vote: 84%, 85%
Number of bridges in Pittsburgh, more than any other city in the world (3 more than Venice): 446
Human population in 8,000 BC: 5 million
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Unexpected arrival...
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CHEERS to new furniture. Hey, look, President Biden's infrastructure plan is already working. He just finished building a brand-new American-made cabinet:
What can we say? Eat yer heart out, Ikea.
CHEERS and JEERS to another week on Planet Covid. As we have for the last year, here we go again with another weekly check of the latest coronavirus numbers for the historical record, courtesy of the tote board of woe. Worldwide now: over 131 million cases, and our domestic death toll exceeds the population of America’s 32nd-largest city Albuquerque, New Mexico (if there's any good news in our U.S. city comparison, it's that we won't reach the population of #31 Milwaukee for several weeks):
1 year ago: 288,000 confirmed cases. 7,000 deaths
6 months ago: 7.7 million confirmed cases. 215,000 deaths
3 months ago: 21 million confirmed cases. 360,000 deaths
This morning: 31 million confirmed cases. 567,000 deaths
And here's some welcome news: the CDC says that if you're fully vaccinated you can travel freely again. Thank god, because after 14 months I really gotta go to the bathroom.
CHEERS to Great Moments in Medicine. On April 5, 1933, the first operation to remove a lung was performed by Dr. Evarts Graham at Barnes Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. Unfortunately the patient was just there to visit his grandmother, but the point is: Progress!
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to today's edition of Golly, That Was Easy. NBC News:
Iran and the major powers in the agreement to keep Tehran from developing nuclear weapons said Friday they are ready to welcome the return of the United States.
Any “return by the U.S. to the nuclear deal does not require any negotiation and the path is quite clear,” Iran's nuclear negotiator said.
This has been today's edition of Golly, That Was Easy.
CHEERS to nighttime sparklies. Now I know why our moon and all the planets and stars in the galaxy practice safe social distancing from us: we're crazy!!! But that can't stop the universe's most obnoxious parasites—that would be us—from gazing up and marveling at all the conquering we have yet to do. The elves at NASA always let us in on the big celestial events for the month, and here’s a look at April’s sky-watching tips, including the ongoing planetpalooza, Leo's heart, and the Belt of Venus:
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And remember: if you're sharing binoculars or a telescope, be sure to wipe 'em down before you pass 'em to the person six feet from you. Or else the ghost of Copernicus will come down while you're sleeping and give you a purple nurple. (Trust me.)
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 5, 2011
CHEERS to ”Four more years! Four more years!” How fun to be able to chant that for the first time in close to two decades. Feels good. I thought for a brief moment that President Obama might go Polk on us and only serve one busy busy busy term, but, naaah…he's not gonna give up the toughest job he'll ever love. So color me happy. And color the advertising agencies, consultants and media outlets who'll share in his $1 billion war chest the happiest color of all: green.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to 16 years of front-page silliness. On April 5 in The Year Of Our Lord 2005, sixteen months after our debut in the Daily Kos diaries, this little column got promoted to the front page by Keyboard Kingpin Markos Moulitsas, who was clearly in the middle of a judgment-clouding bender. He suggested that C&J would be a nice morning wake-up feature for the blog’s readers—the east-coasters especially, given that most of the front-page contributors back then lived out west and slept in past noon, leaving the site in limbo for hours.
What happened the first time I used the keys to the front page is now the stuff of legend. I posted C&J from my desk at work, then went to a meeting, then went to lunch, then came back to find an email from Kos asking me why I did something horrible with my html formatting (remember those days?) that stretched the front page margins across three time zones. You could almost see his arm reaching through the pixels to strangle me. I'm happy to say that's the one and only time I broke the blog, and I shall carve the accomplishment on my tombstone.
Through the years C&J has helped humanity weather the Iraq War, the Katrina catastrophe, the Great Recession, the presidency of—I swear this is true—failed businessman Donald Trump, and a global pandemic. But, hey, how about them Obama years, and now the Biden Recovery! So whether you're a long-time splasher or a relative newcomer, thank you for reading and supporting this snarky little pimple on the blogiverse's butt. I promise to continue focusing on the liberal issues you care about in a serious and sober manner. Just as soon as I run out of fart jokes.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
”Cheers and Jeers is big, dumb fun that should be read in the biggest kiddie pool you feel comfortable with. ”
—Chris Hewitt
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