One day Brer Fahd thought of how Brer Bush had been cutting up his capers and bouncing around until he'd come to believe that he was the boss of the whole gang. Brer Fahd thought of a way to lay some bait for that uppity Brer Bush.
He and a few friends went to work and got some oil and mixed it with some turpentine. He fixed up a contraption that he called a Tar-Baby. When he finished making him, he put a newspaper hat on his head and sat the little thing in the middle of the road. Brer Fahd, Brer Pervez, and Brer Khomeini, they lay off in the underbrush to see what would happen.
Well, they didn't have to wait long either, 'cause by and by Brer Bush came pacing down the road--lippity-clippity, clippity-lippity--just as sassy as a jaybird. Brer Fahd and them, they lay low. Brer Bush came prancing along until he saw the Tar-Baby and then he sat back on his hind legs like he was astonished. The Tar-Baby just sat there, he did, and Brer Fahd and them, they lay low.
"Good morning!" says Brer Bush, says he. "Nice weather we're having this morning. Got any WMD's?" says he.
Tar-Baby didn't say a word, and Brer Khomeini, he lay low.
"You been talkin' to Brer Niger lately?" says Brer Bush, says he.
Brer Pervez, he winked his eye real slow at Brer Fahd and lay low and the Tar-Baby didn't say a thing.
"What is the matter with you then? Are you hidin' somethin' or are you deaf?" says Brer Bush, says he. "Cause if you're deaf, I can holler louder!" says he.
The Tar-Baby stayed still and Brer Fahd, he lay low.
"You hate my morality, that's what's wrong with you. You think you're too good to talk to me," says Brer Bush, says he. "And I'm going to cure you, that's what I'm going to do," says he.
Brer Ahmed started to chuckle in his stomach, he did, but Tar-Baby didn't say a word.
"I'm going to teach you how to talk to moral and freedom loving folks if it's my last act," says Brer Bush, says he. "If you don't show me some WMD's and say 'I love Jesus', I'm going to bust you wide open," says he.
Tar-Baby stayed still and Brer Khomeini, he lay low.
Brer Bush kept on asking him why he wouldn't talk and the Tar-Baby kept on saying nothing until Brer Bush finally drew back his military industrial fist, he did, and blip--he hit the Tar-Baby on the jaw. But his fist stuck and he couldn't pull it loose. The tar held him. But Tar-Baby, he stayed still, and Brer Fahd, he lay low.
"If you don't quit it with the IED's, I'm going to hit you again," says Brer Bush, says he, and with that he drew back his other fist and blap--he hit the Tar-Baby with the other hand and that one stuck fast too.
Tar-Baby he stayed still, and Brer Pervez, he lay low.
"Let me hand over sovereignty, before I kick the natural stuffing out of you," says Brer Bush, says he, but the Tar-Baby just sat there.
He just held on and then Brer Bush jumped him with both his feet. Brer Fahd, he lay low. Then Brer Bush yelled out that if that Tar-Baby didn't turn him loose, he was going to shock and rape him. Then he butted him and his head got stuck.
Brer Kim walked out from behind the bushes with Brer Khomeini, Brer Pervez and Brer Fahd and strolled over to Brer Bush, looking as innocent as a mockingbird.
"Howdy, Brer Bush," says Brer Pervez, says he. "You look sort of stuck up this morning," says he. And he rolled on the ground and laughed and laughed until he couldn't laugh anymore.
By and by he said, "Well, I expect I got you this time, Brer Bush," says he. "Maybe I don't, but I expect I do. You've been around here sassing after me a mighty long time, but now it's the end.
And then you're always getting into something that's none of your business," says Brer Fahd, says he. "Who asked you to come and strike up military bases with this Tar-Baby? And who stuck you up the way you are? Nobody in the round world. You just jammed yourself into that Tar-Baby without waiting for an invitation," says Brer Fahd, says he. "There you are and there you'll stay until I fix up a oil-field and fire it up, "cause I'm going to barbecue you today, for sure," says Brer Fahd, says he.
Then Brer Bush started talking mighty humble.
"I don't care what you do with me, Brer Fahd,” says he, "Just so you don't attack Jerusalem. Hijack my planes, Brer Fahd,” says he, "But don't bomb Jerusalem, like in Revelations!"
"It's so much trouble to get through security," says Brer Fahd, says he, "that I expect I'd better raise the Tar prices," says he.
"Charge as high as you please, Brer Fahd, says Brer Bush, says he, "but for the Lord's sake, don't cause an apocalypse," says he.
"I don't want to hurt China with the Tar prices," says Brer Fahd, says he, "Now I expect I had better fund Brer'Laden on you, " says he.
"Fund him as deep as you please, Brer Fahd," says Brer Bush, says he, "But please do not Attack the holy patch," says he.
Of course, Brer Fahd wanted to get Brer Bush as bad as he could, so he caught him by the behind legs and slung him right in the middle of a World War III in Israel. There was a considerable flutter when Brer Bush struck the temple, and Brer Fahd hung around to see what was going to happen.
By and by he heard someone call his name and a'way up in Heaven he saw Brer Bush sitting cross-legged on a chinquapin log combing the Tar pitch out of his hair with a chip. Then Brer Fahd knew he had been tricked.
Brer Bush hollered out, "Born and picked by God to bring about the end of days!" And with that he skipped out just as lively as a cricket in the embers of a fire.
original story by Joel Chandler Harris