Sling mud at John Kerry/John Edwards;
StandardOperatingProcedure(); If (HVT Captured/Killed/Etc) {
StandardOperatingProcedure(); Ride wave of support, win election;}
If (Terrorists attack AND Approval ratings increase) { StandardOperatingProcedure(); Spin into fear, ride wave of fearful support, win election; } ElseIf (Terrorists attack AND Approval ratings decrease) { StandardOperatingProcedure(); Cancel election; Win by default;} Else { StandardOperatingProcedure(); If (Cheney gets more bad press) { StandardOperatingProcedure(); Dump Cheney for someone else (who?); Indict a few more businessmen to appear tough on corporate crime; Attack Kerry for wife's riches; Incite fear of terrorist attacks; Hope people buy it, to win election; } Else { StandardOperatingProcedure(); Attack Gay Marriage; StandardOperatingProcedure(); Promote tax cuts; StandardOperatingProcedure(); Attack Kerry for wife's riches; Incite fear of terrorist attacks; Hope people buy it, to win election; } EndIf; EndIf;
StandardOperatingProcedure(); Spin into fear, ride wave of fearful support, win election; }
StandardOperatingProcedure(); Cancel election; Win by default;}
StandardOperatingProcedure(); If (Cheney gets more bad press) { StandardOperatingProcedure(); Dump Cheney for someone else (who?); Indict a few more businessmen to appear tough on corporate crime; Attack Kerry for wife's riches; Incite fear of terrorist attacks; Hope people buy it, to win election; } Else { StandardOperatingProcedure(); Attack Gay Marriage; StandardOperatingProcedure(); Promote tax cuts; StandardOperatingProcedure(); Attack Kerry for wife's riches; Incite fear of terrorist attacks; Hope people buy it, to win election; } EndIf;
StandardOperatingProcedure(); Dump Cheney for someone else (who?); Indict a few more businessmen to appear tough on corporate crime; Attack Kerry for wife's riches; Incite fear of terrorist attacks; Hope people buy it, to win election; }
StandardOperatingProcedure(); Attack Gay Marriage; StandardOperatingProcedure(); Promote tax cuts; StandardOperatingProcedure(); Attack Kerry for wife's riches; Incite fear of terrorist attacks; Hope people buy it, to win election; }
On Error {
I don't plan to lose my job; StandardOperatingProcedure(); Watch Jeb run for President in 2008; Whiskey, nectar of the Gods; }