In a startling shake-up at retail giant Toys 'R' Us today, longtime mascot Geoffrey Giraffe has announced he will step down. Following public allegations by a mid-level company employee, Mr. Giraffe admitted to having had an affair with Zachary Zebra, whom he had hired last year.
At a shocking press conference, with his wife Gennifer at his side, Mr. Giraffe read from a prepared statement.
"At a point in everyone's life, one has to look deeply into the My First Mirror of one's soul and decide one's unique truth in the world," he said. "My truth is that I am a gay giraffe."
When asked by reporters, Mrs. Giraffe said she had spoken to her husband at length about this, and was just glad "not to be hearing this for the first time from the evening gnus."