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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
This week is Diddly Week in honor of the 2004 Diddly Awards, Mother Jones magazine's analysis of the 108th Congress (http://www.motherjones.com/news/feature/2004/07/diddly.html). Today's Diddly goes especially well with a menthol light:
The Heidi Fleiss Medal For Congressional Pandering:
Rep. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) became House majority whip in November 2002; hours later he secretly slipped into the 475-page bill creating the Homeland Security Department a provision benefiting Philip Morris USA. Blunt's language would have restricted low-cost cigarette sales on the Internet and prosecuted contraband sales. The congressman receives massive donations from Philip Morris; his son works for Philip Morris; and he recently married the Washington lobbyist for Philip Morris. After the outrage was discovered (so outrageous that ethics purist Tom DeLay had the measure stripped), Blunt wailed that cigarette sales are connected to homeland security because Hezbollah has made money by selling discount smokes.
Saaaa...lute!
Cheers and Jeers starts in the Extended Copy section... [Swooosh!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, August 20, 2004
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Republican Convention: 10
Days `til the First Debate: 41
Days 'til General Election: 74
Days `til Kerry's inauguration: 153
U.S. Olympic medals: 35 (14 gold)
Price of oil: $48.70 per barrel
http://www.electoral-vote.com/ : Kerry 301 Bush 213
CHEERS to John Kerry. When he decides to fire back at Republican smear machine, he does it with both barrels: http://atrios.blogspot.com/2004_08_15_atrios_archive.html#109292389731174539. Man, that was so good we smoked a cigarette afterwards.
JEERS to Bush's economy. With 10 days before his convention, the economy kicks Dubya in the shins again. Leading Economic Indicators slowed in July by 0.3% percent, following a 0.1% drop in June. C&J learns that, with no good news to report, he's switched to a new playbook for his convention speech: http://familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts/sew/feature/famf19puppet/famf19puppet5.html.
CHEERS to elephants in donkey's clothing. Republicans are so short on talent for their convention that they're hauling in Democratic Senator Zell Miller to give their Wednesday night keynote address. He'll speak right after Sal Gilderhofer, the maintenance guy at GOP headquarters (we hear he'll give a sweeping speech).
CHEERS to Kerry and Edwards---Male Pill Pushers. The campaign merchandisers have thought of everything. Yes, eeeeverything: http://shop1.kerrygear.com/Merchant2/merchant_mvc_screen_prod_product_code_k700_category_code_acc.ht
m. Good...we need a place to keep our pre-election Prozac.
JEERS to Ted's Not-So-Excellent Adventure. Ted Kennedy has been barred from flights because his name was erroneously put on the no-fly watch list: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/04/06/terror/main610466.shtml. We say better safe than sorry---you never know what he's got hidden in those jowls.
CHEERS to celluloid water sports. Opening today at the box office: `Open Water,' about a couple stranded in the middle of the ocean without a boat...and `Without a Paddle,' about Seth Green and Matthew Lillard stranded in the middle of a box office bomb without a prayer.
CHEERS to splashy IPOs. SEARCH WORDS: Google + "Wild Eyed Investors" + $$$. SEARCH RESULT = The Business Owners Guide to Popping Champagne Corks.
JEERS to death at a discount. Costco is now offering 48-hour casket delivery service. Price: $800. http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5730441/ The downside is that you have to buy them in the 6-count "Family Pack."
CHEERS to equal time. Yesterday C&J's straight ladies and gay men got to drool over Paul Hamm (http://www.jsonline.com/sports/etc/image/hamm709.jpg). Today, we cede the floor to the moistened lips and fluttering hearts of our straight guys and lesbians: http://home.flash.net/~waynok/mia6.htm. And if you're bi...lucky you.
CHEERS to do-gooders of yore. As part of his `War on Poverty,' President Lyndon Johnson signed the Economic Opportunity Act 40 years ago today. It included funds for vocational training, loans to farmers and businessmen, establishment of a domestic version of the Peace Corps, and community action programs. Or as the Republicans like to call it: "Ick! Ick!"
JEERS to bogus talking points. Alaskan citizens want to vote on making pot completely legal, and---right on cue---the state's attorney general trots out the debunked notion that it will lead to harder drugs: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,129495,00.html. Sorry, Gregg, Alaska will only be a gateway to The North...not the nose.
CHEERS to Isaac "Chef" Hayes. Guess what, children? South Park's voice of reason---and sex machine to all the chicks---is 62 today. We wish we could be there to see the chocolate salty balls on top of his cake.
CHEERS to wrapping up unfinished business. In Monday's poll, 71% of C&J readers thought this was going to be a good week for Kerry and a bad one for Bush. Let's see: The leading economic indicators fell. The Bush/Rove connections to the Swift Boat ad/book were revealed. Chris Matthews hammered Bush surrogates on `Hardball.' Najaf is still a powderkeg. 4 red states (CO, NC, AZ, VA) have upped and gone purple, according to Zogby. GOP convention may not be the love-fest the Democrats enjoyed. And the Bush twins will attend a gay wedding. Good call, gang. Mighty good call.
Cheers and Jeers Flashback--February 20, 2004:
CHEERS to mad scientists. 60 eggheads with a boatload of Nobel Prizes accuse the White House of "suppressing, distorting or manipulating the work done by scientists at federal agencies." It's never smart to piss off the guys who control the world's supply of Flubber.
Have a great weekend and THANK YOU for making Cheers and Jeers Daily Kos's Most Recommended Diary!
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