I was laughing with the golf-pro at the Club the other night about what a bunch of losers you liberal are when he mention that he had found this site where they seemed to know what they were talking about and he pointed me here so I checked you out, wanting to see what the whiners were complaining about now and I loved what I saw.
At first blush, I thought these people might know what their doing after all. There were a couple of good diaries and posts with some real insight but then I hung around for a while and a pattern emerged. Despite the occasional insight, liberals are a bunch of wussies and we are going to kick your ass this November. I am so confident that we are going to sweep the floor with you that I am going to tell you exactly why you will lose, because I know you won't change a thing.
Polls: Every time a new poll comes out, you fret and worry, then someone posts telling you not to fret and worry, then someone else says they cant help it, then you discuss the internals an methodology, then you worry some more. Look, despite what you might like to pretend, us Republicans aren't stupid. We know about outliers and bias and we know how to read a poll better than most, but we don't care.
When 4 polls come out showing a Kerry bounce with his Veep pick or the democrat convention, we talk about the one that shows no bounce. When 2 freak polls show a double digit lead for our guy, we talk about those for the next two weeks, it doesn't matter what any other polls say at this point. THEY DO NOT EXIST. What is important here is that for the 40% of the population that doesn't know any better, Our Guy is the Winner and Your Guy is the Loser.
The Facts: Even when the facts are on your side, you have no idea how to use them. Continuing on the poll idea above, we Republicans don't need all of the facts to be on our side, just one, and we will drive that one home until it is the only one that matters. Oh, and when none of the facts are on our side, then the facts don't matter, we ignore them and continue on anyway. You liberals on the other hand like to talk about statistics, and nuances and crap like that. Yesterday on your liberal commie radio show, Air Amerika, Stuart Smalley was talking to a caller who brought out our favorite Meme: Kerry has no senate record. We go on talk shows and ask some weak willed "liberal" to name one bill Kerry has passed and don't even bother to give then a chance to answer, because if they hesitate for even a millisecond, we have won. The fact the every democrat, pundit and support doesn't know that Kerry's name is on 4,728 bills and amendments, 500 more than McCain, is the reason you will lose.
The Debate: While we are bombarding you with aerial assaults, you are asking "why can't we all just get along." Sure we would be better off with a real discussion of the issues, it's just no one can here you hiding in your whole while we keep shelling your ass.
The other day I was spouting off to a group of people how we should thank God that Bush knows how to kick ass and how with him as president, we all are safer. The only lib in the group with any balls at all meekly chimed in, "but what about what he has done to the environment, what about the deficit." I say Bush will keep you alive and you come back with ground owls and red ink, please.
Look if I was a liberal (and thank my God I am not) I would have shot back "That coward makes you feel safer? That coward who sat like a deer in the headlights for 7 minutes after the second plane hit, and then flew from bunker to bunker with his tail between his legs with no idea what to do! That coward who refuses to stand up to the people who really attacked as and instead goes to war with a county he knows he can beat, and screws that up as well. That coward who is so afraid of the American people that he won't let anyone within shouting distance who doesn't sign a loyalty pledge."
Pride: Thank you Dukakis for putting the shame in liberal, making our job so much easier. Do you think I hesitate to claim I am a conservative republican any chance I get. From the moment I get up in the morning and put on my American flag boxers till I fall asleep at night watching Scarborough, I let everyone know that Republicans rule. I read a thread the other day where people were talking about how they were scared to put bumper stickers on their cars in a conservative neighborhood. Hell, I'll drive my Hummer right through the center of Bezerkly campus with my Proud to Be an Ass Kicking American and Bush: Second Only to God bumper stickers while my horn plays Dixie over and over again. My work screen saver is a picture of Bush with sound - "Bring `em On!".
It doesn't matter that I barely agree with any of Bush's policies. The point is, being republican has become the default position. We assume unless you say otherwise that you are a Republican and with that attitude, those 40% who don't know any better, assume that is the default position as well. How do you think we get all those people who line up 80-90% with liberal issues to say they are republican? It is because they don't know there is another choice.
And for you people who are afraid that a bumper sticker might get your car keyed: If a perfect paint job is more important to you than winning this election, you deserve to loose and get your car trashed.
Weak Ass Attacks: Even when you do go on the offensive it is about as scary as a charging Chihuahua. You finally get some good dirt on our guy that puts him on the defensive and one day later, the whole conversation is about IBM selecto-I-don't-give-a-damns. We took a false charge by republican operatives and but it in the headlines for weeks. Hypocritical? Sure, but who cares. We are winning. Your response to "the documents might be forged should have been, "Then show us the documents that proved he did his duty. The white seems to be able to come up with more documents every couple of weeks when they claim there are no more, so dig back into roves drawer and pull out the ones that proved he didn't go AWOL."
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So go ahead and keep whining and blaming Kerry for not being strong enough or the press for not doing their job. Come Election Day, the only thing people will know is that Bush is Winning and Bush is Strong - Republicans are Confident and Democrats are Wussies.