Does GOD want KERRY to WIN?

I am convinced that the Supreme Being in his/her/its infinite wisdom is sending us messages in the form of miracles in an attempt to prevent us foolish, falliable mortals from repeating a terrible and tragic mistake.  

Let it not be only our ideological opposites who may impute Holy Motives from mundane events, but let us read the obvious signs that spell out V-I-C-T-O-R-Y for the latte-sipping, Volvo-driving Crusaders of Truth, Justice and Affordable Health Care.

Ye Doubters!  Witness the Clear and Distinct Testament of Indisputable Facts and Anomalous Occurrences:

1. Thrice hast the Almighty smote mightily Florida the cursed site of the Great Theft of Liberty.  Think it's typical for three hurricanes to visit a place recently visited by The Beast in a single season?  I certainly don't.

2. Mount St. Helens reawakens after a 24-year slumber.  Think it's coincidence that this volcano is named after the patron saint of Divorcees and Converts?  Those of us with understanding of Heavenly Communications are not so naive.

3. The Boston Red Sox defeat the "Damn" New York Yankees in Game 7 by seven runs after being behind 0-3 in a seven-game series.  This is the most overt sign of Divine Intervention.  The Boston Red Sox, obviously representing Kerry, break the Curse of the Bambino by defeating the evil hated Yankees in the final game by a Saintly margin of seven runs.  Rarely are signs so clear from such a modest and understated deity as the Lord.

Folks, let it now be known that we have some SERIOUS mojo working in our favor, and let there be no denying that we SHALL overcome our oppressors!

•  What

  no doubters to be smote with Wrathful Vengeance?!?

  by Jason on Wed Oct 20, 2004 at 09:32:48 PM PDT

  •  nope

    the doubters will never show up here tonight.
    They're all at home weeping over their ARod memorabilia, heh heh.

    by Timaeus on Wed Oct 20, 2004 at 09:36:29 PM PDT

•  TESTIFY!

  The forces of all things good and just in the universe are KICKIN' FRIGGIN' ASS this year! YEEEE HAW!!

  by RationalBias on Wed Oct 20, 2004 at 09:33:31 PM PDT

•  PS: Pat Robertson, Personal Friend

  of God appeared today and said Bush was a "4-aces" . . .liar.

  by Einsteinia on Wed Oct 20, 2004 at 09:52:35 PM PDT

  •  Exactly-- everything is going according to plan

    Pat Robertson is foiling GWB-- Hell is freezing over!

    by Jason on Wed Oct 20, 2004 at 09:54:49 PM PDT

•  Chapter and Verse

  1 Kerry 3:16 says, "And God looked out upon the land and those who ruled it, and lo, God beheld the weary and the oppressed, and spake unto all the land saying, 'Dude. My bad.'"

  "Then it came to pass that the savior of America rode into the Great City upon a donkey. And God looked upon the land and said, 'Word.'"

  by Aragorn for America on Wed Oct 20, 2004 at 10:02:58 PM PDT

  •  sophisticated piece of theological satire there

    by DCDemocrat on Thu Oct 21, 2004 at 03:41:45 AM PDT

•  sorry, g-d(ess)

  democracy & theocracy are in different leagues.

  by Miss Devore on Wed Oct 20, 2004 at 10:21:04 PM PDT