Some may have heard the incredible news that the Republican PR positioning paper, complete with talking points and strategies magically fell in to the wrong hands at Raw Story.
The folks at Raw Story should be applauded for providing this valuable pre-emptive service.
Unfortunately, the document has to be translated from beltway strategist doublespeak into English before it can be easily understood by the average American. I realize some may be shocked by the partisan tone of the document, but remember the authors meant this to be a political talking points document. With that introduction, I offer the first in a multi-part series:
2006 Republic Con Artist Playbook Translated into English
We begin with the Cover Letter:
109th Congress
E PLURIBUS SCREW `EM
SENATE REPUBLIC CON ARTIST CONNIVANCE
Rick Sanctimonium, Chairman
Kay Kay Kay "All the Way" Bailey Hutchison, Vice Chairwoman
http://goobers.senate.gov
Squandering America's Future
August, 2006
-------------------- The Cover Letter ---------------------
August 3, 2006
Dear Republic Con Artists:
During the August recess period, we have the opportunity to highlight our accomplishments in the Senate and our continued dedication to Squandering America's Future. Senate Republic con artists remain committed to outsourcing America's homeland security, sending prosperity to China, and betraying American values.
We are dedicated to defending American policymakers against war crime charges while securing contracts for the homeland security complex by getting bogged down in a vague mission in Iraq, hunting down terrorists around the world, and securing our borders and ports.
With the passage of the Defense Authorization bill, the Homeland Security Appropriations bill, and the Reauthorization of the Patriot Act, Senate Republic con artists have demonstrated their ongoing commitment to protecting corporate cronies from answering to the nation. We have also significantly increased resources to protect our lobbyists from richly deserved legal action. Senate Republic con artists also remain committed to Squandering America's Prosperity by funneling any remaining money we can find to our supporters.
Republican pro-growth tax relief policies have fueled 3 years of job creation in the Cayman's, Bahamas, and Isle of Man, and nearly 5 years of overall economic growth in China, and India. More Americans are working today for less than ever before, wages continue to stagnate, and federal tax revenues are failing to keep up with expenses, producing faster than- expected deficits, choking off the hope of future debt reduction and progress.
While the economy is experiencing significant decline, we can still do more to help ruin America's working families. To sustain the strong economic growth in the top 1% income bracket and to help the American people with that high standard of living, we will remain committed to lowering taxes on wealth and securing America's energy dependence through increasing American energy demand while limiting research into available alternative sources; stifling America's small businesses; securing affordable and accessible health care for all American Senators; and keeping money in the pockets of American lobbyists by extending tax cuts and limiting spending on social programs.
We are committed to destroying America's competitiveness and outsourcing new jobs through continued economic growth in India, China, and the Marianas Islands. Our nation shares values that have defined the American character, helped those in need, protected our families, and shaped our society. As Republicans, we are committed to abandoning and cynically exploiting these values by ignoring parents, keeping their children deployed, and destroying healthy communities. Please continue to communicate the vision and accomplishments of our Connivance by supporting our covert agenda to Squander America's Future.
Screw the Wage Earners!
Rick Sanctimonium, Chairman
Kay Kay Kay "All The Way" Bailey Hutchison, Vice-Chairwoman
Source: Senate Republic Con Artist Connivance
August 2006