Veteran's Day 2004 - I cried

Last night I cried for the soldiers; veterans of wars past and present.  I cried because I was angry about the Iraq war, and there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.  I cried for all of the dead civilians who have done nothing worse than live under the rule of a dictator whom some deemed "evil" and an imminent danger to our country.  I cried because I do not trust the man in charge of all the troops fighting in the war that I believe is unnecessary at worst and untimely at best.  And all the crying started because I watched HBO's newest documentary, Last Letters Home:  Voices of American Troops from the Battlefields of Iraq, inspired by The New York Times.

I heard about the documentary on NPR on my way home last night, and I wound up getting teary just listening to the director, Bill Couturié, describe why he was tearing up after listening to a clip of the letter from Pfc. Jesse Givens.  Bill said that he has a hard time even imagining about writing a "just in case" letter to his own sons.  I knew I would be crying more when I decided to watch it, and even the NPR interviewer, Michele Noris, recommended having the Kleenex handy.  I agree.

The film's purpose was clear and simple:  The families of 6 soldiers who were killed in Iraq, read aloud the last letter(s) that their soldier would ever write home.  One stopped mid-sentence.  Some were positive, some were more melancholy.  Some of the family members made it through the letter without crying, but most didn't.  The pictures of soldier's face flashed on the screen.  Half of them were younger than I when killed, and I'm only 23.  This is my generation fighting this war.  I can't help but wonder what it was like seeing people my own age being killed during the Vietnam war.  Suddenly I understand the anger, the protests, and the emotional confusion that was the result of that war.  No wonder people are still talking about it.  I only hope we'll be able to talk about Iraq once time has passed, but I somehow doubt that the memories will fade or that emotions will subside.

This was not a political documentary, but it was aired after the election for a reason.  The pain and suffering caused by this war is overwhelming at times.  Only once was Bush's name mentioned.  Cathy Heighter, Pfc. Raheen Heighter's mother said that when Bush landed and declared that "major combat operations are over" in May, she believed him.  She thought that it meant that her son would be coming home soon.  She was wrong, sadly.  So was everyone else who believed him.  I couldn't help but feel the pain in my own heart.  I want to comfort her as much as I want to scream at our leaders for doing this to her and so many other mothers and fathers; husbands and wives.  I hope Bush' heart is as heavy as mine.  No, I don't; I hope it's as heavy as all of the people who lost a loved one all rolled into one.  He pushed for the war, but we all have to deal with the consequences.      

Are the majority of Americans anesthetized to the human cost of this war?  If so, this film was like smelling salts for the unconscious.  I woke up hard and fast.  

Only 6 soldiers' letters were read over the course of an hour.  

There are over 1,100 dead soldiers now.  

I recommend that everyone watch this film.  It makes it clear that whether we wanted this Iraq war or not, this is every American's war.   Whether we think this is Bush's war or not, we are all involved in one way or another.  These soldiers who fight for our country do not have the luxury of protesting or really questioning the motives of why they are there.  They must follow orders.  Why were they were kept longer than they originally expected?  Why do they have to stay away from their families longer than expected?  Why do they not get the benefits they were promised when they signed up in the Armed Forces?  We at home (and I am proud to say on this blog) have fought and will continue to fight for the veterans so they are given the proper respect and taken care of when they return.  We can also fight for their quick return.  Nothing we can do can replace an arm or leg lost; but we can at least make sure that they get the treatment they deserve.  What we do to achieve these goals for our troops should be equal to the sacrifice they make for us.  

You don't know anyone who's over there?  I guarantee that someone you know does.  This affects many of us now, but with the death toll climbing higher each day, it's bound to touch someone in your life before it's over.  We should cry our tears for these soldiers, but we should match the number of our tears with letters to our Representatives  and Senators and local editors.  We should let it be known that if our leaders are going to send these brave men and women, then it is their responsibility to make sure that they and their families are provided for and cared for when they return - alive or dead.  

•  I also watched it

  and used lots of kleenex. My best friend's 19 year old son is in Falluja now and its driving her nuts. Even though she's from a military family she despises Bush for starting this war. Why did anyone in the military vote for him?  I hope that everyone who says they "support our troops" will watch this movie- its absolutely heart-wrenching!

  by kycole on Fri Nov 12, 2004 at 08:30:05 AM PDT

•  Beautiful diary

  Did you know that over the past week, 5 Texans have been killed in Iraq? God is trying to send Bush a message.

  I think a lot of people had considered Veteran's Day a thing of the past. A formality to get through until the old soldiers ride off into the sunset. Thanks to Bush, that will never, ever be the case. So many families have had to grieve losses they never imagined. I read about a TX soldier who went to a veterans rally. He had lost an eye, a hand, and a leg in Iraq. An elderly veteran walked up to him and began weeping. People were touched. I began to cry, because I knew what that old man was thinking -- "I risked my life, my brothers gave their lives, so you wouldn't have to go through this. We have failed you."

  by JamesB3 on Fri Nov 12, 2004 at 08:37:44 AM PDT

  •  Thank you

    I didn't know that, and even if Bush is aware I doubt he'd get the message.  It is really sickening - Bush was too coked-up or drunk to notice the mistakes of Vietnam war, and he learned no lessons.  Now he's forcing us to repeat those mistakes.  

    by spyral on Fri Nov 12, 2004 at 09:10:48 AM PDT

•  War

  The blood is on Bush's hands. If he had any dignity (and I don't believe he does), he'd be filled with shame and remorse. Instead, he can't hide his impatience and petulance even at one of the most moving ceremonies in American culture: the laying of the wreath at Arlington National Cemetery.
  

  by Carnacki on Fri Nov 12, 2004 at 08:55:32 AM PDT

  •  you are right about that

    He sure looked uncomfortable placing that wreath on the stand.  I cannot fathom what must be going through his head, but I hope he knows it was a mistake - whether he says it out loud or not.

    by spyral on Fri Nov 12, 2004 at 09:13:47 AM PDT

•  I wept

  The most painful hour of television I have watched in quite some time. I wept like I haven't wept in ages, at the futility of this war, at the despair and crushing grief visited upon these families, at the sheer sense of loss, of life snuffed out before its time, in pursuit of a worthless and vainglorious goal.

  I wept because I was angry, and I wept because my heart kept breaking. I wept because, like the producer mentioned in the NPR story, I can only imagine feeling the need to write a "just in case" letter to my child, can only imagine being worried that you may never get to hold your unborn child and writing a goddamn apology, hoping that child will forgive you your absence in his life.

  I wept because, almost to a family, these letters were received after these soldiers had been buried. Because these families clung to these letters, often touching in their banality, a final gift and curse from beyond the grave.

  I wept because I realized that our President does not give two shits about these people. I wept because these people, innocent, decent, hard-working Americans, have given up their most precious loved ones's lives, in pursuit of a war that was not necessary, was not justified, and has not made one American safer.

  I wept because I imagined if it had been me in Jesse Givens' place, or Josh Byers', or Raheen Heighter's, or Frank Carvill's, or Leonard Cowherd's, or Pierre Piche's, or Pancho Martinez-Flores', or Robert Wise's, or Michelle Witmer's, or Holly McGeogh's. I wept because I find it unbearable to think of never seeing my son or my wife again.

  I wept to honor their sacrifice. I wept to bear witness to the families' loss. I wept because I simply couldn't not weep, and still call myself human.

  I wept.

  by jpb on Fri Nov 12, 2004 at 09:01:16 AM PDT