THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
as demonstrated by the Bush administration
I. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.
Not even if it's a really macho god. Just position yourself as His mouthpiece. Then people can worship you, and believe whatever ridiculous crap you spew even when it contradicts His written Word, and yet still feel like they're being faithful to Him.
II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
Seriously. Engraving is so last millennium. How many voters can you reach with one idol, anyhow? Get a 527 to buy attack ads in swing states instead.
III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Reserve it for hoodwinking the faithful. One good use of the big G or the big J and their critical thinking faculties will shut down for a solid hour.
IV. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
But
don't bother to go to church.
V. Honor thy father and thy mother.
Don't let that honor stuff cut into your war budget, though. If you need more money for guns, jam up Mom and Dad's Social Security and Medicare benefits and borrow like you've got a terminal disease.
VI. Thou shalt not kill.
Unless it helps cement your political position as a tough guy.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
And make sure that only heterosexuals can commit it by restricting marriage rights.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal.
Always call it something else, like "aggressive accounting" or "eminent domain" or "no-bid contracts" or "electronic voting without an audit trail."
IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Talk yourself into believing it first. Then it's not lying.
X. Thou shalt not covet any thing that is thy neighbor's.
Coveting is a waste of time. Just take it. See VIII.