Daily Kos

Bush joke

by kos

Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:08:02 AM PDT

This one is making the email rounds:
How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a lightbulb?

The Answer is SEVEN:

  1. one to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced

  2. one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the lightbulb,

  3. one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new lightbulb,

  4. one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs,

  5. one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a lightbulb,

  6. one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag,

  7. and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.
Hmmm, I think I'll find these jokes funnier once Kerry is president and we can look back on Bush's long nightmare of war and recession.
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Permalink | 84 comments

  •  Have you seen this one? (4.00 / 2)

    From someone's diary.

    Go to google
    Type in weapons of mass destruction
    Hit "I'm feeling lucky"

    Read the whole message.

    McCain: Less jobs, more war.

    by Unstable Isotope on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:20:53 AM PDT

  •  Good one... (none / 0)

    Fantastic - I'm sending this out to my conservative friends.  I'm sure they'll find it as amusing as all those Clinton jokes they like to send out.

    by des4 on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:21:08 AM PDT

  •  I'd add an eighth..... (none / 0)


    Someone explain that the light bulb stopped working because it feared a Kerry victory.

    The latest spin from BushCo regarding the recent tanking of the stock market is that the markets are now fearing a Kerry victory.

    Let's see now: First, the markets went down under Bush because of Clinton's recession. Then, the markets went down under Bush because of 9/11. Later, the markets went down under Bush because they now fear a Kerry victory.

    Has anyone considered that the markets went down under Bush because of Bush?

    I just hope that Bush tries to revive his hair-brained scheme of taking part of worker's Social Security money investing it in the stock market.

    by Vital Centrist on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:21:48 AM PDT

    •  maybe (none / 0)

      The spin we need to put on this spin is that two men, neither of whom is the current president, have more power over the market than the sitting (or falling) president.

      More random pre-coffee thoughts...

      Spread the word-- his presence is his absence:  vacation, he wasn't in the loop, it's others causing change in the market, vacation...

      If you ask me, nothing's really changed for G-Dub.  He's still AWOL from service, it's only his position that has changed.

      Will go have coffee now.  I apologize if none of this made sense.  Good morning.

      by qwerty on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:40:58 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Actually, this has the grain of truth (none / 0)

      Though the major reason the markets are down is a valuation at least 50% above historical norms, and troubling portents on the inflation, interest rate, and oil fronts, in all likelyhood a Kerry presidency would attempt to raise top marginal tax rates and capital gains.  Quite prudently, given our national fiscal situation, I might add.

      It makes a lot of sense taking your 2003 capital gains in equities and bonds (and stash it in foreign denominated funds) now before January 1, 2005.

      WAR is a racket. It always has been. - Maj. Gen. Smedley Butler, USMC

      by sombrehombre on Sun May 23, 2004 at 01:04:30 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  TV screens and the March to War (none / 0)

      There were other interim excuses.  The one that made me spit (back in August 03) was the castigation of the news media for their constant talk of war, war, war. (How on earth could the economy be perky, with all that downer "March to War" stuff on TV?)  

      Looking for a "drumbeat" item like the one above, I discovered that this Bushian bit of cake-and-eat-it-then-whine-about-it-too has been folded into the campaign's ongoing hypnotic litany.  And check out the insulting, poker-faced mention of the nation's previous crop of "bad apples" - dishonest CEOs! (Quick! Cue the Martha Stewart video clips!)

      from Remarks by the President and the First Lady at "ask President Bush" Event, Cabela's Distribution Center, Prairie Du Chien, Wisconsin May 7, 2004

      Then we had another problem in our economy, one that shook the confidence of the American people, and that is we had some people forget to tell the truth. There's some corporate CEOs who fudged the numbers and didn't tell the truth. And it affected us. We acted on that, by the way. I worked with both Republicans and Democrats in Congress to pass tough law, tough law. The message is real clear in America. If you're in a position of responsibility, you behave responsibly when it comes to shareholders and employees, or you'll be held to account. We're not going to tolerate dishonesty in the boardrooms of America. (Applause.)

      Then, of course, I've talked about my decision to go into Iraq. But remember on your TV screens it said, "March to War," during that period of time. That's something the economy had to overcome because when you read about marching to war, it is -- it is negative. People who are making capital decisions, or decisions to expand, take a look at that and say, gosh, I'm not sure I want to expand if we're marching to war. Now we're marching to peace.

      While taking the training wheels off.  Yet staying the course.  Or something.

      by musing graze on Sun May 23, 2004 at 03:25:01 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  And (none / 0)

    One to explain why invading was the free market solution to the light bulb problem.

    One to explain that this is a reason to back the "President's next round of pro-growth tax cuts, so we won't have to change light bulbs in future".

    And one screaming head on Fox to say "Whose looking out for the little guy with all of these Clinton era light bulbs going out? Answer me that, James, you don't see Bush era lightbulbs burning out in the same numbers that Clinton lightbulbs do."

    String Quartets #7 & #8

    by Stirling Newberry on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:22:37 AM PDT

  •  You Forgot One (none / 0)

    When finally everyone realizes a lightbulb needs to be replaced, we need one Bush Administration official to blame Hillary Clinton for the demise of the lighjtbulb, and the failure of lightbulbs in general.

    by Maccabee on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:24:07 AM PDT

  •  On George S. (4.00 / 3)

    "The Sunday funnies"

    I think Jay Leno Show (I wasn't paying close attention.)

    Circadas only come out during Republican administrations.  Beat the Republican circadas, vote John Kerry.

    Count back... circadas come out every 17 years...
    Bush 2004
    Reagan 1987
    Nixon 1970
    Eisenhower 1953

    McCain: Less jobs, more war.

    by Unstable Isotope on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:24:31 AM PDT

    •  Think you meant 'cicadas' (none / 1)

      but you're on target anyway...

      In most species, adult cicadas can be found every year because the population is not developmentally synchronized; these are often called "annual" cicada species.

      In contrast, the cicadas in a periodical cicada population are synchronized, so that almost all of them mature into adults in the same year. The fact that "periodical cicadas remain locked together in time" is made even more amazing by their extremely long life-cycles of 13 or 17 years.

      Periodical cicadas can cause physical damage to small trees or "shrubs".

      An unexamined life is not worth living - Socrates

      by crone on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:57:40 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Science! (none / 1)

        Not that this has anything to do with anything, but something interesting about the periodical cicadas is that they've all invariably got lifecycles which last for a prime number of years. Presumably this is so that two different broods don't surface at the same time, causing excess competition for food/living space/etc.

        Nobody lends money to a man with a sense of humor -- Peter Tork, "Head"

        by Field Marshall Stack on Sun May 23, 2004 at 10:33:01 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Prime Number (none / 0)

          Another possibility that I've heard is that the cycles are prime so that a predator can't evolve into short period that is a factor of the cicada period.

          by Boronx on Sun May 23, 2004 at 12:27:11 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Prime numbers (none / 0)

            Al Franken pointed out (on the occasion of his 53rd birthday this past week) that prime numbers are also handy for comedy. He said they convey the appearance of randomness. Or something like that.

            Maybe the cicadas are just trying to amuse us.

            Or maybe Al Franken's jokes are engineered so a predator joke cannot evolve with a life cycle that allows it multiple generations to his one.

            Raging in enthusiastic support of the machine since January, 2008

            by abw on Sun May 23, 2004 at 01:05:29 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

        •  aoeu (none / 0)

          so what happens in year n+13*17?

          turtles consider
          every single vote deeply
          yet always vote dem

          by TealVeal on Sun May 23, 2004 at 02:57:00 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    •  They Come Out To Get Screwed (none / 0)

      so a Rethug President is exactly what they need.

      by RonZ on Sun May 23, 2004 at 11:07:32 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Funny... (none / 1)

    But I think the correct answer is:

    Haven't you been paying attention?  Don't you realize the Bush Administration will NEVER change the light bulb, they are too damn incompetent!  What it will take is 50 million voters to get that light bulb changed.

    by Mila on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:39:20 AM PDT

  •  The light bulb (4.00 / 2)

    wants to be changed.  We just have to help it change.  Once it's changed, the other light bulbs will realize they want to change too.

    McCain: Less jobs, more war.

    by Unstable Isotope on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:42:00 AM PDT

  •  i just got this in from some wingnut (none / 1)

    honest to god -- i'd love to know who writes all this crap.

    --------------------------

    Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following Multiple Choice test.... No need to keep score.  The events are actual cuts from past history.  They actually happened!  Do you remember?

    1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:

            a. Olga Corbitt

            b. Sitting Bull

            c. Arnold Schwarzeneger

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    2. In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:

            a. Lost Norwegians

            b. Elvis

            c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    3. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

            a. John Dillinger

            b. The King of Sweden

            c. The Boy Scouts

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    4. In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

            a. A pizza delivery boy

            b. Pee Wee Herman

            c. Geraldo Rivera

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year-old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:

            a. The Smurfs

            b. Davy Jones

            c. The Little Mermaid

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    6. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:

            a. Captain Kidd

            b. Charles Lindberg

            c. Mother Teresa

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    7. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

            a. Scooby Doo

            b. The Tooth Fairy

            c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

            a. Richard Simmons

            b. Grandma Moses

            c. Michael Jordan

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    9. In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

            a. Mr. Rogers

            b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems

            c. The World Wrestling Federation

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    10. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:

            a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd

            b. The Supreme Court of Florida

            c. Mr. Bean

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    11. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

            a. Enron

            b. The Lutheran Church

            c. The NFL

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    12. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

            a. Bonnie and Clyde

            b. Captain Kangaroo

            c. Billy Graham

            d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?

         So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people.  They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former Governors, and leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 & 40  alone because of profiling.

    Let's send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds and other dunder-headed attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to thwart common sense, feel doubly ashamed of themselves if they have any such sense.

          As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest Gump" so aptly put it, "Stupid is as stupid does."

    by professorhojo on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:42:35 AM PDT

    •  Plogh (none / 0)

      Well, The Supreme Court of the US is to blame for putting in office the worst president in the history othe country. Or in the history of the world.

      OK, maybe putting Hitler into office was a bigger mistake, but he was actually elected, though without a outright majority.

      Pretty accurate about the lightbulb. Of course, they would have to invade Sweden because of stock piling lighbulbs, then blame the french for being "anti-American" and liberals of being "unpatriotic" then blame Hilary Clinton for the recession and a loss of another zillion jobs because of Bush' corporata buddies decide to move to China permanently.

      Oh yes, the Clinton Administration is Always to blame for the ridicolous incompetenc of the GOP White House and The Hill.

      The Bush Administration: Delivering Pain, Suffering, Destruction and Death Worldwide since 2001

      by Jonesyboy on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:51:21 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  They forgot one. (4.00 / 5)

      On APril 19th, 1995 the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City was bombed killing over 160 people including children in the building's daycare center..

      The perpatrator was:

      a. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

      b. Lyndon Baines Johnson

      c. Alfred Murrah

      d. White supremacist Christian males.

      "I was so easy to defeat, I was so easy to control, I didn't even know there was a war." -9.75, -8.41

      by RonV on Sun May 23, 2004 at 09:30:30 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  It must feel good to be so stupid (none / 0)

      Whenever anybody tries to make arguments like this to me, I point out that while ethnic and racial profiling might feel good, it's not a good basis for airport security procedures and the like. Relying on profiling results in a system which can be gamed by organizations intent on breaking it.  In the medium-to-long run, purely random searches will be more effective.

      Once it's explained to them in short words, the response is usually, "Um, yeah, but...look! A monkey!"

      by YT on Sun May 23, 2004 at 10:41:00 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  aoeu (none / 0)

      Think tanks write them and start emailing them out to people.

      turtles consider
      every single vote deeply
      yet always vote dem

      by TealVeal on Sun May 23, 2004 at 03:00:16 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Ack. (none / 0)

      My wife got this from her sister... we attached some bogus file about 2Mb and replied to all...

      by minusp on Mon May 24, 2004 at 11:28:54 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  don't forget.. (none / 0)

    One to blame the inadequate, unpatriotic lightbulb for burning out in the first place causing all of the people to have to lift a finger as a result.

    by qwerty on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:51:55 AM PDT

    •  Why do light bulbs hate America? (none / 0)

      I have to watch saying that...people in the real world don't always get it....I was weeding one day and I said of a stubborn weed "Why does this weed hate America?"

      I don't think my neighbors heard...or did they? :-)
       Time for MY coffeee:-)

      by stilwell on Sun May 23, 2004 at 09:43:55 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  The real reason people still back Bush and the war (4.00 / 3)

    The real reason people still back Bush and the war...

    Cognitive dissonance:
    Cognitive dissonance is a psychological phenomenon which refers to the discomfort felt at a discrepancy between what you already know or believe, and new information or interpretation. It therefore occurs when there is a need to accommodate new ideas, and it may be necessary for it to develop so that we become "open" to them. Neighbour (1992) makes the generation of appropriate dissonance into a major feature of tutorial (and other) teaching: he shows how to drive this kind of intellectual wedge between learners' current beliefs and "reality".

    Beyond this benign if uncomfortable aspect, however, dissonance can go "over the top", leading to two interesting side-effects for learning:

    if someone is called upon to learn something which contradicts what they already think they know -- particularly if they are committed to that prior knowledge -- they are likely to resist the new learning. Even Carl Rogers recognised this. Accommodation is more difficult than Assimilation, in Piaget's terms.

    if learning something has been difficult, uncomfortable, or even humiliating enough, people are not likely to admit that the content of what has been learned is not valuable. To do so would be to admit that one has been "had", or "conned".

    ...They still want to believe, it hurts too much not to...

    by JasonX on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:52:19 AM PDT

  •  Can't we just.... (none / 0)

    ...Let the lightbulb be the lightbulb again?

    Why do Republicans hate lightbulbs so much?

    (I'm really loving this thread. I'd love to  googlebomb lightbulb to point to this thread... and I'm not a big fan of googlebombs.)

    ---
    My name is huppster and I approve this message.

    by huppster on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:55:19 AM PDT

  •  Why are you criticizing (none / 0)

    the War on Lightbulbs?

    Lightbulbs went out during Clinton's administration.  We're just following the Clinton policy of lightbulb change.  It's liberals like you that allowed the light bulbs to go out in the first place.

    McCain: Less jobs, more war.

    by Unstable Isotope on Sun May 23, 2004 at 09:01:35 AM PDT

  •  For PC or PS2 (none / 0)

    "[C]an the video game 'Interrogating the Terrorists' really be far behind?"

    Regarding the Torture of Others by Susan Sontag

    by Tom Bearse on Sun May 23, 2004 at 09:09:45 AM PDT

  •  The only way to change the light bulb... (none / 0)

    is to give lots and lots of money to John Kerry.

    by johngavin on Sun May 23, 2004 at 09:36:31 AM PDT

  •  Wouldn't (none / 0)

    Cheney convey a secret meeting of lightbulb experts, who would then produce a multi-page report requiring the design and requistion of
    all-new fixtures, high tech 'Merican fixtures that prevent light bulbs from ever burning out. Then giv no-bid contracts to Halliburton to build the fixtures, Bechtel to manufacture the special lightbulbs to fit in it, and Brown and Root to install and service the fixtures and lightbulbs.

    One Tin Liberal Street Fighter Rides Away ...

    by Madman in the marketplace on Sun May 23, 2004 at 09:37:44 AM PDT

  •  And what type of lightbulb would this be? (none / 0)

    ...Since we're having this discussion?

    Perhaps they'd be spouting off about the wonders of clean energy and the importance of investing in the future, but replacing the energy-saving lightbulb with a halogen?

    I guess this is what happens when you get a bunch of dems/libs together analyzing a bush joke to death :>

    Cure This! -- let's talk shop about health!
    Los Anjalis

    by anju on Sun May 23, 2004 at 09:45:19 AM PDT

  •  my humble edits to the joke (none / 0)

    improvements?

    How many members of the Bush Administration does it take to change a lightbulb?

    NINE

    1. one to deny that the lightbulb needs to be changed
    2. one to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the lightbulb needs to be changed
    3. one to blame Clinton for burning out the lightbulb
    4. one to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the lightbulb or for darkness
    5. one to change the name of the lightbulb to "freedombulb"
    6. one to arrange the invasion of a Home Depot rumored to be harboring a secret stockpile of lightbulbs
    7. one to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton to rebuild the Home Depot and buy 800,000 new lightbulbs from K-Mart
    8. one to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Lightbulb Change Accomplished"
    9. and finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.

    by sheldonlanghorne on Sun May 23, 2004 at 10:15:48 AM PDT

  •  Speaking of John Kerry... (4.00 / 4)

    Did anyone attend/host a John Kerry House Party last night?

    We had one here. Our goal was $1500. Raised well over $4,000 instead. Amazing.

    Makes one giddy with pride. It's also a bit scary to feel this optimistic. But overall, damn, it just feels GOOD!

    by LAS on Sun May 23, 2004 at 10:21:54 AM PDT

  •  What happened at the end? (4.00 / 2)

    Did we win the light bulb's heart and mind or did it simply blow a fuse?

    by c2shiningc on Sun May 23, 2004 at 10:53:47 AM PDT

  •  6 1/2 (none / 0)

    Bush falls off ladder drunk, abrades face-Rove makes up story about show tunes and mountain bikes (or pretzels)

    Genetic evidence for complex speciation of humans and chimpanzees

    by doug r on Sun May 23, 2004 at 11:15:34 AM PDT

  •  How many members in the administration? (none / 0)

    All, if they put their small minds to it, might actually figure the light was out. But they would not want to change the bulb --- Conservatives believe it's fine just the way it is. And the neocons in the administration would not allow light --- it's anathema to the dark, moist, full of sh#@ places they're used to working from... Most have spent their lives underground anyway.

    An unexamined life is not worth living - Socrates

    by crone on Sun May 23, 2004 at 11:20:05 AM PDT

  •  Lightbulbs from Idaho (none / 0)

    Light Power! Light Power!

    "I do think it is kind of sad when everybody who owns a laptop thinks they are Thomas Paine" Redlief take on Helen Thomas, 2008

    by redlief on Sun May 23, 2004 at 11:40:59 AM PDT

  •  I came up with a joke similar to this a while back (none / 0)

    Of course, I like the "how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb" setup.

    The key difference is that in my version nobody in the end actually changed the lightbulb.  That was the part that most people seemed to enjoy the best with my joke.

    So, my suggestion to this joke is taking out the part where Bush actually changes the lightbulb.

    by Adam T on Sun May 23, 2004 at 11:49:45 AM PDT

  •  First off !!! (none / 0)

    One has to be brighter then a lightbulb to replace one, that leaves everyone in the Bush admin out of this particular riddle, thankyou!
    Peace!
    ABB&B!!!

    by PC on Sun May 23, 2004 at 11:52:24 AM PDT

  •  regarding Haliburton... (none / 0)

    The lightbulb will be delivered already broken, or be delivered in a convoy of a dozen trucks, all empty save for the one lightbulb.

    by Cheeky on Sun May 23, 2004 at 12:01:52 PM PDT

    •  And... (none / 0)

      Cost you 33% MORE due to the fact of a tourtured suply and demand curve manipulated by oil companies.
      "It is not for honour nor riches, nor glory that we fight but for liberty alone, which no true man lays down except with his life." Declaration of Arbroath, 13

      by Ralfast on Sun May 23, 2004 at 02:24:23 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Another one (none / 0)

    One to cover the camera lenses when Bush flips the switch and discovers that the new light bulb doesn't work either.

    by kfury on Sun May 23, 2004 at 12:03:43 PM PDT

  •  And not only ... (4.00 / 2)

    are we gonna change this lightbulb ...

    but we're gonna go check the front porch, and the back hall, and the kitchen, and the basement!  And we're gonna check the garage, and the rec room, and the bathroom, and the bedroom!

    And then we're going to the hardware store to get some more lightbulbs!  YEEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGHH!

    "Do not offend the Chair Leg of Truth! It is wise and terrible."

    by section29 on Sun May 23, 2004 at 12:18:21 PM PDT

  •  additions (none / 0)

    1. one administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how bush was literally "in the dark".
    2. one to viciously smear #8
    3. one surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how george bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along.
    (actually my 8 & 9 should go in the middle, such as between the current 4 & 5.)
    so now the facts are partisan?

    by zeke L on Sun May 23, 2004 at 12:27:11 PM PDT

    •  one more (4.00 / 2)

      11. one to attack john kerry for "taking both sides" of the light bulb issue because after installing a light bulb in his own house he didn't change the bulb for several months, but later he did. (kerry's response that the light bulb was still working and he replaced it as soon as it went out is considered "confusing" and not sound-bite worthy, so it is only reported on page A17 of the NYT...)
      so now the facts are partisan?

      by zeke L on Sun May 23, 2004 at 12:42:53 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  The Kerry lightbulb joke (none / 0)

        Here's the one that eventually got me kicked from the Kerry blog--such as it was--back in February.  Hey, don't flame me, I'll vote for him anyway!

        Q: How many John Kerrys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

        A: Three.  One to screw in the light bulb, one to vote against it, and another to explain that his no was really a "procedural" vote, and that in actuality he fully supports the screwing in of light bulbs and has always worked hard on behalf of light bulbs and their families.

        Angie and Bill: Colorado's bright future!

        by ubikkibu on Sun May 23, 2004 at 02:48:51 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  Dude *wiped out* (none / 0)

    by TrentL on Sun May 23, 2004 at 03:01:21 PM PDT

    •  he's lucky he didn't break anything... (none / 0)

      it is really easy to break your wrist/nose when you faceplant and try and stop yourself with your hands.

      by creativedissonance on Sun May 23, 2004 at 03:26:28 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Excellent! (none / 0)

      That's some serious road rash, and should help further the "super-klutz" reputation Bush-league is building up.

      I loved Kerry's snarky quip about it (as related by the Sludge Report):

      President fell off bike Saturday.. Kerry told reporters in front of cameras, 'Did the training wheels fall off?'... Reporters are debating whether to treat it as on or off the record...

      At first I was afraid the big John would get shit for it because of his recent (unseen) skiing and biking spills. But Kerry obviously possesses enough skill (and experience) not to face-plant like a schmuck and end up looking like roadkill for the cameras.

      It is to laugh.

      I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it, and reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it.

      by Hard Left on Sun May 23, 2004 at 04:03:14 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  is that... could it be... (none / 0)

      stigmata?!?

      by sheldonlanghorne on Sun May 23, 2004 at 05:02:38 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  lol (none / 0)

        Stigmata!  That's too funny.

        I wiped out bad when I was around 12 years old.  Scratched the whole bridge of my nose and upper lip.  This was before I was of shaving age.  God, it must be a bitch to have to shave when your face is ground up like that.  

        by TrentL on Sun May 23, 2004 at 05:38:10 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  It will be interesting (none / 0)

      to see how the makeup artists clean him up for tomorrow night's speech.  He is literally and politically bruised and battered.  I cannot restrain my laughter.

      Angie and Bill: Colorado's bright future!

      by ubikkibu on Sun May 23, 2004 at 05:09:51 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Does this count as a joke? (none / 0)

    Can't tell if this is more infuriating, or depressing, or at this point simply laughable.

    It looks like Rumsfeld & co. have finally settled on a response to the "abuses" by US troops...

    ****

    Rumsfeld bans camera phones
    From correspondents in London
    May 23, 2004

    MOBILE phones fitted with digital cameras have been banned in US army installations in Iraq on orders from Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, The Business newspaper reported today.

    Quoting a Pentagon source, the paper said the US Defence Department believes that some of the damning photos of US soldiers abusing Iraqis at Abu Ghraib prison near Baghdad were taken with camera phones.

    "Digital cameras, camcorders and cellphones with cameras have been prohibited in military compounds in Iraq," it said, adding that a "total ban throughout the US military" is in the works.

    Disturbing new photos of Iraqi prisoner abuse, which the US government had reportedly tried to keep hidden, were published on Friday in the Washington Post newspaper.

    The photos emerged along with details of testimony from inmates at Abu Ghraib who said they were sexually molested by female soldiers, beaten, sodomised and forced to eat food from toilets.

    by MarkDQ on Sun May 23, 2004 at 03:35:09 PM PDT

  •  Time for Bernard McGuirk to go (none / 0)

    Just like the joke states, "one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the lightbulb."  Why are those liberals who question the administration considered un-American?

    Great post at Fuel for Thought criticizing Bernard McGuirk and his proclaimed "Self Hating Americans".  The Professor writes:

    I infer from his usual context that these are people--like me--who think about things relevant to the outrages they witness and state what they think about them. And because what we think about them opposes the current groupthink percolating from the government and conglomerated media outlets, we therefore hate what America currently represents and lies about. And because we are Americans, and not, oh, say, Taliban or Al Qiada, we must be self-hating. When I oppose American attitudes and policies, I do it because I know from my life in the U.S.A. and from what I know about our culture that we have been and have done a lot better

    I reccomend the rest of the article to everyone.  Go read it at http://sexygasoline.com/politics!

    by agconway on Sun May 23, 2004 at 03:52:15 PM PDT

  •  News report, next January (4.00 / 3)

    Bush Administration Denies Reports of Vandalism

    CNN--January 25, 2005

        Although a spokesman from the outgoing Bush Administration denied published reports of vandalism by departing staffers, a source within the Kerry White House said that the previous Administration had done "incalculable" damage and "looted" the United States Treasury on their way out.

        "It was a real mess," said the senior official.  "Lines of communication with our vital overseas allies were cut, there were pornographic images taken at Iraqi prisons left strewn about.  Contradictory and misleading signs were posted, confusing allies and enemies alike.  It was a week before several heads of state could get through to us."

        He placed the cost to repair the damage in the "trillions of dollars."

        While declining to be named, an outgoing official maintained in a rambling statement that there was no actual damage, that the damage was actually the fault of the previous Clinton Administration and was the result of 9/11, and that the trillion-dollar cost had been "misoverestimated."

        Presidential Press Secretary Molly Ivins conceded that the original damage estimate had included replacement costs for a large number of troops and equipment thought to have been stolen from their posts in Afghanistan but later found to have been sent to Iraq by mistake.   There was still no sign of over two million jobs which Secret Service agents said had been part of the American economy until 2001, but which since mysteriously disappeared.

        Some of the damage appeared to have been normal wear-and-tear, or caused accidentally.  For example "deliberately-garbled" outgoing messages on the White House voice-mail systems were found to have been excerpts from an April, 2004 Presidential press conference.

        Other acts, like the crayon-scribbled additions begun but not finished on the original copy of the Constitution, were "vandalism, pure and simple."

        While declining to comment for the record on the scandal, President Kerry did note that the Oval Office itself had been turned over in "pristine" condition.

        "It's as if the place was never used," he remarked.

    Rubus Eradicandus Est.

    by Randomfactor on Sun May 23, 2004 at 03:55:54 PM PDT

  •  Dim bulb? (none / 1)

    Of course, if it's a dim bulb, the Repubs don't see any reason to change it.

    by Morgan3993 on Sun May 23, 2004 at 03:56:48 PM PDT

  •  This Makes Me Mad (none / 0)

    NBC just did a report on "Is John Kerry Too Liberal?" citing his apparent attempts to let "attack dogs of the left" like Dean and Pelosi go after Bush.

    "Too Liberal?" What about the ultra-conservative regime that's about to take this country back to the stone ages, what about THAT?

    Boy I WISH their was a "liberal media"

    Whenever there is a war to be fought, those who are the most likely to fight it are the least likely to gain from it.

    by Jank2112 on Sun May 23, 2004 at 04:34:16 PM PDT

    •  His fault (none / 0)

      So Kerry "let the attack dogs of the left" make the speeches they did?

      Does that mean we get to hold Bush accountable for letting the attack dogs of the right--DeLay and Coulter included--say things like "A central tenet of Islam is killing anyone who isn't smelly and named Mohammed"?

      "...And I woulda got away with it, if it hadn't been for that meddling Kos!" ---attributed to Tom DeLay

      by AdmiralNaismith on Sun May 23, 2004 at 08:10:28 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  The thing i don't get... (none / 0)

        ...is why they never ask is GWB "too Right-Wing" or is he perhaps too influenced by right-wing ideological organizations like The Heritage Foundation.

        Maybe they're afraid of the truth. It's too obvious that Bush is infact being influeced by the most malicious and fundamentalist organizations in the entire country, that the media is afraid that americans would panic if they knew. These people are preparing to take US back to the stone ages.

        So people like Ann Coulter actually get air time on tv, whereas in countries like the UK or Germany
        she would be considerde a semi- Nazi for her remarks. Of course, free speech is great. As long as liberals dont' have it, seems to be the guideline for the major media.

        Hooray for Fox News Channel.

        The Bush Administration: Delivering Pain, Suffering, Destruction and Death Worldwide since 2001

        by Jonesyboy on Mon May 24, 2004 at 01:09:25 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  More (none / 0)

    One to throw out the State Department's plan on changing the lightbulb.

    One to come up with a theory on how cutting lightbulbs actually gives you MORE light.

    by Snapper on Sun May 23, 2004 at 05:14:40 PM PDT

  •  Nice (none / 1)

    More good knowledge to know.

    Political News

    by dopies on Fri Sep 03, 2004 at 11:45:49 PM PDT

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