My first entry, probably as much for me as any readers, though you're all invited to read it. And tell me what you think -- and I can swear in about four languages, so cut loose.
I was/am a hard-core Deaniac, an orange hat-wearin', "We Can"-singin, door-knockin', still-have-the-bumper-sticker-on-my-car drivin', Judy-lovin', vaguely obsessive stalkin' Deaniac.
At Dean's thank you event at Hurricane O'Reilly's in Boston this Wednesday, someone came around to "Show the love" -- distributing Kerry buttons. I saw lots of reluctance to take one, which tells me there are lots of people in the same boat as me.
This is my story of my conversion from Kerry to Dean (hey-I'm an Irish Catholic from Massachusetts -- of course I started with Kerry) and my reluctant conversion back...
I was a Kerry supporter, what I later came to call a Kerryatric during the pre-pre-pre-primay period. The period when we had one man running, five others who would, and about 20 who might. But I was with Kerry. That's what happens when you're a young, life-long Bay Stater. Hometown pride and all. Never said I wasn't naive.
I was psyched to see him speak when I was a delegate to the Mass. State Convention in Lowell, May 2003. I think I'd seen him before, but never as a presidential (sort of) candidate. I was accosted by a Dean supporter on the way in, but I wasn't much interested. At that point, I saw Dean as somewhere between Pat Buchanan and Harold Stassen -- a seriously deluded man running a seriously deluded campaign. Kerry was going to win, and everyone knew, so get out of the way.
So I'm sitting there when Kerry comes in, loud music and enthusiastic kids and all, and I am psyched.
I was waiting for the knockout punch that never came. Kerry had a laundry list of proposals and changes, but something was missing. I kept waiting to hit fourth gear (I think -- I can't drive stick), and he never did. I figgered, Mass. State Dems is the one audience were you can cut loose and show some passion, but that never came up. Even the obvious applause lines felt somehow deflated.
It reminded me of a concert. To a large extent, a concert is a crescendo of "stuff from the latest album" and minor hits leading to an invitation to explode in joy and dancing at "Bat Out of Hell" or "Life is a Highway". Watching Kerry speak that day was like going to see Men Without Hats and having them leave without doing "The Safety Dance." I wanted to feel carried away on support. Damn it, at this point, I wanted to go out there backing up someone in whom I believed. Just ask me. Where was the invitation to delirious support? Kerry never issued one, so never go it.
I went home, and spent a night clicking on the websites to see how I could help. How can I help you, Dick Gephardt? "Donate Money." How 'bout you, John Kerry? "Donate Money." How 'bout you, Dr. Dean? "Organize a house party, write letters, visit an event, show a video, do a visbility, clean up a beach, etc., etc.," That was my first instinct that maybe Dean had something to offer.
Then a few months later, I've been trucked into the Young Dems of America convention to vote in a Massachusetts candidate (which I happily did -- Clinton Bench is a good man). Between the drinking and the hammering out of a platform I doubt anyone will ever read, we were courted by primary candidates.
Heck, you have 600 active young Democrats in Buffalo looking for someone to work for, so most of the candidates had sent tables. Except Gephardt, ahem. Some had sent more. The delegates sat down to a Kucinich video that consisted of a stream-of-conscious set of remarks from the candidate squinting into a camera. Kerry sent a generic video. Dean sent himself. And he sent me over a cliff.
Before August 2003, the last time politics made me shed a tear was when Al Gore conceded the 2000 election to Bush's crime syndicate. Now this bulldog of a man was making me fill up talking about the need for Americans to have a government that will let them be respected around the world (dual citizen, lived outside the US for 6 years -- this stuff is important to me). He talked about bus tickets back to Crawford, Texas. He talked about education and foreign policy and the war, and it wasn't poll-driven. It was the remarks of someone who had finally decided he was sick of all this.
As I later said to a friend (more or less):
I'm tired of Democrats being 'concerned' about the economy being run by the rich for the rich. I'm tired of them being 'troubled' about the rape of our Constitution. I'm sick of them being 'bothered' by the needless killing fields in Iraq. I am tired of the leaders of my party being 'worried' about what's happening to our country. I am way past 'concerned' or 'troubled' -- I'm pissed and I'm glad to see that somebody running for president is pissed too.
The YDA convention had a lot of people like me. Another Mass. delegate said it reminded her of a religious revival, with so many people ripping off Kerry paraphenlia to join the Dean team.
tomorrow: The Fall of Dean, the Resurrection of the Democratic Party, the Reanimation of Kerry -- What's a a Deaniac to do?