Since nobody really seems interested in forming a cult around here, I guess I'm just going to have to roll up my sleeves and do it for you.
But of course I am happy to do so, for you are my children, and I feel like a father to you all.
No...not really. But keep reading, in case I actually say something entertaining or useful. :)
How To Form A Cult
How the eff do I know? Oh, silly me. That's what Wikipedia is for.
First off, I have to find out what a freaking cult is in the first place...
...a cult is a cohesive group of people (often a relatively small and recently founded religious movement) devoted to beliefs or practices that the surrounding culture or society considers to be far outside the mainstream. Its separate status may come about either due to its novel belief system, because of its idiosyncratic practices or because it opposes the interests of the mainstream culture. Other non-religious groups may also display cult-like characteristics.
Alrighty, then! It's settled! My cult, which I shall call the CSKossacks, will
1. be devoted to the belief that all diaries and posts are rendered superlatively informative and, what's more, eye-catching if they contain smiley-faces. :)
(See? See what I mean? Right there!)
2. The mark of the smiley-face shall distinguish CSKossacks from mainstream Kossacks.
3. Regular DKOS members may engage in the use of the mark from time to time, but don't mistake them for the real deal. Those with promise may in time be recruited as probationary CSKossacks, according to double secret probationary procedures that I cannot discuss here before Gentiles. Sorry. That's just the way it is. :)
Organization
Per the Wiki people, I -- er, we -- will need a
1. A small group - Oh, I think we'll have no trouble attracting miniscule support for our little project. :)
2. Limited structure - I'm a wing-it kind of guy. Just follow my lack of leadership and you'll fit in just fine. :)
3. Unclear development - Check that. I have no idea what I am doing, so we're good. :)
4. Charismatic leader - I'm there.
5. Mystical and individual orientated - Our creed shall be "All Power to the Smiley Face!"
6. Ideology There is nothing that cannot be snarked.
We're NOT a Political Cult!!!
here, let me show you.
A political cult
1. The group is preoccupied with making money. In a political context, this would be excessive fund raising, especially by illegal means.
2. The leader is not accountable to any authorities (unlike, for example, teachers, military commanders or ministers, priests, monks, and rabbis of mainstream religious denominations). In a political context, this would apply to dictators, as well as political leaders who seek to powers where they are not subject to oversight.
3. The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members' participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group. In a political context, this could include criminal activities, ranging from rigging elections to promoting a politically expedient war.
4. The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society. In a political context, this would apply to their attitudes vs political opponents.
5. Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished. In a political context, those not following the 'party line' would be relegated to the fringes.
6. The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law. In a political context, this is the classic 'cult of personality'
We're none of those things!
We will be these things!
1. CSKossacks will be preoccupied with making cheap laughs. In a political context, this would be engaging in vast amounts of snark, sometimes but not always by teasing trolls and, when called for, the occasional humorless DKOS regular.
2. The leader will, unfortunately, be accountable to local authorities, who could do summary things like pull one's Trusted User membership or posting privileges. Hopefully not...but it could happen. Don't cry too much if I am exiled. :)
3. We CSKossacks have exalted ends -- making merry -- and justify our snark by a simple epistemology: If it rakes in the "4" ratings, do it. Some may notice a change in the behavior of our membership, as they are elevated to a state of CSKlear (heh heh), and activities they would have considered silly or purposeless before joining the group, such as making snark, camping out on irony-rich diaries, or posting parody lyrics, increase in frequency.
4. We CSKossacks subscribe to a laugh with us-or-laugh at us mentality, which may cause confusion among the wider society, as we don't really care what you do, so long as the mojo keeps on pouring into our coffers.
5. Questioning, doubt, and dissent will be encouraged and even rewarded. Those not following the 'party line' will be feted, as that's our raison d'etre.
6. We're going to be excessively silly and unquestioning commitment to my lack of guidance, leadership and insensate demands to "go do something funny, already!" will be the rule. Admiration of my person or dutiful reverence toward my diaries or posts will not be tolerated. I mean, really. We're a cult about celebrating your personality, not mine. :)
Wrap
So join with me...well, some of you, anyway. Apparently, we can't be a cult if too many people are interested.
(Hope I didn't write this too well, or I'm already out of a job. :))