In one month, I'm will embark on a journey, a journey that many would find absolutely ludicrous given the current times. After 3 ¾ years working for the State of Florida as a web programmer, I am planning to quit my benefits-filled job and move to Athens, GA to pursue music full-time.
".............what are you crazy?!" Maybe. I know it must be considered idiotic for me to give up my securable job with a great reputation to boot. But, in light of recent events, this move to do music full-time will happen. Besides the fact that the momentum is moving a little bit in my favor, I have learned to accept this undeniable fact:
If this country, under Four More Years, were to go to hell in a handbasket, all of us will be in it, regardless of job or position. So why not go with the rest of America while pursuing my passion?
"Woulda, coulda, shoulda" never got anyone anywhere in life. Worse, people regress when they think, "I should have done this when I had the chance." If I can offer any advice to anybody here in this community it will be this:
do not let Bush and Corporate America derail you from your chance at pursuing your passion.
Everyone has dreams and goals, but so many don't pursue them for whatever reason, be it financial, personal, philosophical, cultural, what have you. While I can act, and certainly write as my history here has shown, I am a musician first and foremost. It is my passion above everything else. I don't know of a drug that can get me the kind of high I get when I stand on that stage, creating live art and making people, for even a second, forget about the troubles around them.
Jam Cruise 2005 revealed to me the dream that I have long had - being a part of a big, musical family. I remember that Saturday night on the boat, on the cusp of turning 6:00 AM. DJ Logic was spinning some great old school discs, and he put on Bill Withers' version of Scarborough's Lovely Day. In that moment, Eric Krasno of Soulive, John Staton and Ron Johnson of Tiny Universe, Skerik of Les Claypool's Frog Brigade, Stanton Moore of Galactic and his wife, Concheme Gastelum of Robert Walter's 20th Congress, and Oteil Burbridge of ARU and the Allman Brothers Band, all great players and respected musicians, all joined in with myself and others to dance away as the sun slowly began to come up over the ocean. Musicians and fans were on the same level, enjoying life and not regretting it. It is still the moment I cherish most from that cruise, and it reminds me of why I must do this.
Having played all over the Southeast in 2004, along with Colorado and Kansas in the fall, and an awesome NYE show with Tishamingo in Atlanta, GA, I went into Jam Cruise 2005 with a good amount of momentum. I left having sat in with bands like Mofro for the first time, made an impression on lots of folks by playing the grand piano they had in the Trolley Bar, and grabbed many new contacts in the business. One key contact, the band Galactic, turned out to be very beneficial, as I ended up sitting in with the well-known band in Tallahassee, FL the day after the boat docked. Just the other day, someone at work told me she had heard one person, who saw me sit in with Galactic, say, "he won't be here much longer." So with lots of good momentum happening, despite the fact I don't have another band yet, how could I not pursue this thing that has always been my dream - full-time music?
I may make it in the business; then again, I could fall flat on my face, forcing me to retreat to my father's home to rebuild my life. But if America is going to hell real soon, whether it is an economic collapse or a military draft, I'd rather have it happen knowing that I at least tried to pursue my passion. It would be a lot better if I did than to have to wade through the dirt with everyone else wondering why I never went for it when I had the chance.
Today is a dark day for a lot of us, as well as the rest of the world. But that should not discourage you from doing what you want to do more than anything else. The GOP and Bush would rather have you working as slaves for them and their benefit. The best method of attack these days against the GOP is not defining what are "moral values," but by standing up and telling them, "no matter what you do or try, you cannot take my heart, you cannot take my soul, you cannot take my dreams. And I'm going to live my dream, even for a day, just to show you that you cannot control every aspect and fiber of my life."
For most of the GOP, their dreams are finite. Victory at all costs, inaugural balls that have a beginning and an end, massive amounts of wealth to spend on materialism, ensuring gays do not marry. These are empty goals, goals that only make one person feel pain and goals that can fly away with a snap of the fingers. As angry as they make you, you can't help but feel sad for them, for dreams are never meant to be finite. Dreams and goals are to enliven one's spirit, to mature to a new level of consciousness which carries on beyond your own normal means.
It is this finite nature of their dreams that makes them really unhappy people (have you noticed that with as much power as they have obtained in decades, the right-wing and GOP are still not happy and yelling constantly that they don't have power?). Their dreams really go nowhere. They may have fun for a day, but then the morning comes. Life still goes on, and they still find their lives empty, without full meaning. They don't understand why, they see the happy gay couple walking down the street, and boom!, "we can't have that, not while I'm unhappy." The endless pursuit of power and control by these nutjobs may be the only infinite dream they have, yet ironically and tragically, it pursues a finite conclusion. But I digress...
The point is that success or no success, having fought for my passion and dream will mean more even if I end up at a cubicle down the road. It is something that no one will be able to take away. I could still wish things had turned out better, but at least I'm not some slavemonkey in a corporation who wished he had gotten out and done this or that when he had the chance.
If there is any advice I can give, it is this: Look into yourself. Ask yourself, what do you want to do? What tools do you have at your disposal to do what you want to do? Is there a means of doing this, or a side-option that is just as good that you can pursue? Don't make this a means, however, of getting back at the Republicans or the GOP. Simply pursuing for yourself will be enough of a victory over the GOP and their control freaks. Howard Dean says "you have the power," and he's right, you do. Your dreams are your own, and you and you alone have the power to live them.
In a month, I will choose to live them or at least attempt to do so. What will you do?