My life has become very difficult. I have a 15 year old boy. My youngest child. He has become my own worst nightmare.
He began this year as a sophomore in HS, placed in three honors classes (Math, Science, History).
The first thing he did was transfer out of Honors Math into a regular class and quickly brought home a 38 and a 47 on his next two exams.
"What gives?", I ask him.
"They are doing stuff I didn't learn last year.[sic]", he answered.
"Do you need a tutor?"
"Nah. I'll catch up. I just didn't study."
"Duh.", I think.
He then brings home his first report card: 4 Fs and a D, in his major subjects. We talk. I ask him if he needs help. Nah. What's the matter? I can't concentrate. (But he can obsess on Rap music.) I take his telephone away and tell him I quit as his chauffeur until I see some improvement. He promises.
His next report period his marks were, for instance, in English: 97, 50, 50, 0, 93, 0, 0,= F.
"All of your teachers have called me to say you miss too many classes and do not turn in any assignments."
He responds, "I guess."
"That means you have been lying to me for three months about doing your homework.", I shout.
He shrugs his shoulders.
"If you were stupid I would never punish you for getting bad marks. But, you are smart and you have been lying to me and your mom, day after day, for three months."
I list every dis he heaped on his home over the past few days, besides lying about school. Like yesterday when I (with my bad back) ask him to shovel the snow from the front door to where the driveway was plowed. He said, "Soon.", every time he was asked, until a combo of my wife and I took care of it. "Why didn't you shovel?" "I can't use the black shovel and I couldn't find the red one." Of course, the black shovel is your standard everyday snow shovel. Duh.
I carry his computer to my room. (I don't have one. I only post when I can borrow one of my kid's computers.) He says, "I don't give a s." And, I invite him to move out. He grabs a sweatshirt and leaves, repeating his earlier summation of his attitude. He sneaks back in later and goes to bed without confronting me.
So, here I am. For full disclosure, I have to admit I was 15 once myself. I understand (he is handsome) that he has three girls fighting over him. At his age, in the Bronx, I discovered the IRT to Manhattan and it changed my life. (I would go downtown Saturday and then call my parents late to tell them that the subways weren't safe at that hour so I'll see them tomorrow. But I called.) Yet, I managed to get into college (to study Nuclear Engineering). He is getting all Fs again.
His indifference to lying amazes me. I have always been a nutcase about the truth, so it is the perfect tweak this adolescent can give his "old" man. But when I remind him that all you have in this world is your word. And if you blow it, no one will ever believe you again, he says, "I don't give a s."
And then, did it hurt the President when HE lied? Did it hurt Condi when she lied? Were incompetents rewarded for their (dis-)service to our country? Are we really going to confirm a lying son-of-a-bitch like Gonzalez, to be in charge of investigating liars in our government?
Then, why should my son not believe that he is pursuing the most successful career path available to him in America? I try to come up with some way to refute this splash of cold water on my face. Then I remember one day in the Bronx, screaming at my mother, "Why did you bring me up to be so honest? It is the most counter-productive trait you could ever have given me." It was seven years before I apologized to her.