By Nedra Pickler - Washington
According to highly placed sources within the internets, many LIBRUL bloggers are involved in a corrupt bribery scandal. Those accused include Josh Marshall, Jerome Armstrong, Duncan Black and Markos Moulitzadijas Zúnijaralga. It is unknown what other LIBRUL commentators may be on the take, but it is safe to assume that they are probably guilty as well.
A private investigation totaling $3 million, funded by centrist, mainstream groups, such as the Heritage Foundation, Americans for Tax Reform and the Club for Growth, found that these bloggers received advertising money from LIBRUL politicians and organizations. They would then comment upon political events, even those involving the same political actors. They heinous nature of this crime speaks for itself.
Howard Dean once screamed really loudly. I heard the tape. He's kooky.
Hugh Hewitt, a noted non-partisan expert on journalistic ethics, said that their actions "were beyond the pale. They represent a new low in morals, and they and their ideas should be scorned upon from now on."
"Well, I felt it was obvious that we were receiving money from these groups," said the LIBRUL Zúnegaroo*g^a, who for some reason was on the defensive. "The advertisements were clearly labeled as such, and there is a prominent link explaining this, viewable on every page of the website, labeled `advertising.'" The LIBRUL Moolyitsadigaoas then excused himself to the bathroom, where one may surmise that he snorted crack cocaine, sodomized a young boy and prostrated himself for the terrorists.
"Irresponsible and inexcusable" responded of venerable and well-respected CNN commentator Robert Novak. "These unethical bloggers discredit all of us noble practitioners of political punditry."
Howard Dean once said we were no better off with Saddam Hussein captured. Honest - I was there.
"The extensive cover-ups by these so-called writers show the lack of Democrat morals," said the reputable, best selling author Ann Coulter. "I would like to know why the hate America, and how we can make sure real Americans aren't contaminated by their hatred."
Howard Dean's wife didn't campaign for him for awhile. Isn't that strange? Maybe a little too strange???
Above: An artist's rendering of the dirty, dirty Democrat liars.
Senator Joe Lieberman, a LIBRUL from the heathen Northeast, said "[T]his sort of thing is inexcusable. Radicals like these are the reason Democrats can't win elections. I am forced to join my friends from across the aisle and call for independent investigations into those accused. Hopefully, their filth can be removed permanently." He then paused, and asked meekly, "Is that all, master?"
I once saw Howard Dean bite the head off of an aborted fetus. Then John Kerry drank its blood and burned the body. Would a real Catholic do that?
Clearly, this is much worse than recent unproven allegations that three Conservatives may have received government money. This is because there are four Libruls who are guilty, which is a greater number than three. [Author's revision - I didn't mean to imply that Libruls are greater than Conservatives. Please give me sum turkee! Please!!!]