The Encino 7, the loose-knit group of Los Angeles-area Kossacks who now meet on a monthly basis for food, friendship and flapping of gums, met again yesterday at my home. We are no longer 7 - at any given gathering there are up to two dozen of us. And we are no longer in Encino; rather, we meet in one another's homes, at restaurants or at parks. But the name has stuck, reminiscent as it is of the Secaucus 7...
At first, I thought this diary would simply be another chit-chatty rundown of who was there and what it was like. But something more is happening here in Los Angeles, something that feels momentous.
We meet, we Kossacks, primarily for the social connection -- to expand our acquaintanceship beyond the parameters of our computer screens. We meet, too, because in each of us there exists a desire to know one another more fully. But we also meet because, though some of us may be actively involved in other, politically oriented organizations, we feel something afoot in this Daily Kos Universe...
Shockwave, one of the original 7, asked an intriguing question yesterday: Are we the only group of Kossacks who meet on a regular, consistent basis? To which I replied, I believe so. To my knowledge, even the Seattle Kossacks have only met once or twice. We, the Encino 7, have started something unique. Over the course of several months, we have developed relationships outside the confines of the website where we first came to know one another.
Alysheba joined us yesterday. His personality and character are a great fit, and after an hour or so of conversation, he opined that we ought to ask more of ourselves than merely a monthly bitch session. Ought we not be meeting for some greater purpose? A rambling discussion ensued; someone pointed out the very great value in simply meeting regularly, to expand our acquaintanceship and blow off steam, laugh, gather ideas... But in the end, we did all agree that what we have is an opportunity to journey beyond being a mere social club.
What we have, we corporeal Kossacks, is the makings of a nascent social movement. No longer confined to mere participation in the occasional "Action" diary and its directives (email this group of people, call this Senator), we have something here with greater possibilities. After all, the Algonquin Round Table started with a couple of frustrated intellectuals treating themselves to occasional plate of eggs Benedict in a fine oaken dining room, an escape from the dreary four walls of their office...
As the potluck dishes emptied, as the dirty plates piled up and the coffee began flowing, those in attendance at yesterday's Encino 7 gathering began exploring in earnest the possible avenues of action a group like ours might undertake. Naturally, being liberals, there were as many ideas as there were people at the table. Amid the levity and occasional fits of pique emerged some "soft" goals for the next meet-up.
We agreed to correspond in the interim between this gathering and the next, to do individual research and come to the next meeting with suggestions as to the purpose of our group - to wit, Wither Encino 7?
Some people had the seeds of their ideas already yearning to burst forth: Paul Rosenberg's vision of working to make manifest in the world an actual shift from materialistic/selfish philosophy to one more democratic and civic-minded; Alysheba and Shockwave raised questions about the 40% of Americans who don't vote, about how many of them are Democrats-in-the-making, about what it would take to nurture those budding liberals and bring them to the polls; I, of course, asserted the absolute necessity of making sure that all our Get Out the Vote efforts did not get blown to the four winds by the insidious and deliberate corruption of voting machinery; Tony Seybert, JeanniSkip and Barbara-the-Unregistered-Lurker interjected when they could with variations on the dominant themes.
At one point the passions ran so high and the more verbose of us so thoroughly dominated the discussion that I introduced the Talking Spoon. S/he who holds the spoon talks. It worked for a while, but began to stifle the give and take; Alysheba made a brilliant suggestion: let the conversation take its course, and leave the spoon in the middle of the table. Should someone absolutely need to be heard and feel uncomfortable interrupting, s/he would pick up the spoon. He (Alysheba) called it our "Nuclear Option."
I don't know where this is going, or if it's going anywhere. Can a tiny group of people meeting once a month really take up a cause, be it specific or wide-ranging in scope - and affect significant change in their world?
Whenever anyone makes that Butterfly-flaps-its-wings-in-the-Amazon-and-affects-what-happens-halfway-`round-the-world speech, I am alternately moved and dismissive. Yes, yes, of COURSE, every action, no matter how small, has a long-term effect on everything else. But I'm an American Democrat, goddamnit - I want a mission statement, I want an outline, I want to know before I make a move... is this going to be worth my time and energy?
And therein I find my answers: we do what we do because we hope it will make a difference - but we also do it because we get something out of it, personally. For myself, I am only slightly ashamed to admit that the only reason I do anything selfless is that it makes me feel good - or, at least, less bad. So, sure, I'll walk the picket line, I'll boycott grapes, I'll go stand on a corner and protest... because it's the right thing to do, certainly, because it will make a difference in people's lives, hopefully... but mostly because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel like a member of the fraternity of human beings, it provides an immediate sense of accomplishment, however small.
We need the big ideas and the small. A Daily Kos Credit Union? Brilliant! Feasible? Possibly, possibly - let's kick it around, let's get a couple knowledgeable Kossacks involved, let's run it up the old flagpole and see if anyone salutes.
The immediate effect of forming a group of Kossacks who meet in person on a regular basis is this, as far as I can see: we confront each other with our actionable items and, being face to face instead of sitting at a computer, we are accountable to each other. We make a decision, we make a plan, we commit to taking action, however small - and when next we meet, we are accountable to one another. As opposed to writing a comment lauding someone's terrific idea on dKos... and leaving it at that. The YearlyKos Convention is happening because a few Kossacks took it upon themselves to run with the idea, rather than merely applaud it.
What will the long-term effect be? I cannot know, obviously, but I can make a guess. I know what's happening in my tiny little mind, and it's probably not as complicated as it feels.
At the very least, a small number of people will have made positive connections to each other, thus alleviating that growing sense of isolation and helplessness which seems to increase as we grow older and our world grows smaller. (We marry, our single friends drift from us or we from them; we have children, we move to suburbs, we take new jobs, we lose touch with college friends and fail to make new ones...) I'm always better at expressing stuff like this in the first person, though, so let me do that now.
I find myself at 37... not the person I thought I would be or wanted to be. Living a life that never entered my imaginings as a younger woman. Increasingly isolated for a variety of reasons, some chosen and others the by-product of my circumstances. I have friends - but when Jessica moves back to Austin, every single one of my dearest friends will be living in another state. Anne-Marie in Grand Rapids, Jonna in Traverse City, Mary in Chicago, Sherry in Minneapolis, Christopher in New York and now Jessica in Austin.
Now, to the world at large I have been told, I appear forbidding and intimidating at first glance - more so when I speak. People who grow to know me better in AA meetings confess they found me terrifying at first. Needless to say, this does not make for easily cultivated friendships. For a while, I was a member of a loose-knit group of alcoholics who lunched together on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. That was nice, but it was very superficial. I'd never have dared to presume these people were truly my friends. And, indeed, the time came when my life grew more complicated and I could no longer attend those particular meetings... and they didn't call to invite me to lunch. They didn't call, period - we were, after all, "friends" of convenience.
Deeply felt friendships are increasingly difficult to acquire and maintain; not merely because of the effort and time necessary, but also because kindred spirits are not a dime a dozen in this world, not when you are, like me, a demanding, difficult person who requires her friends to be as passionate and interested in the same things as she is. Not when, like me, you find yourself having to edit and simplify your speech so that others can understand you.
But in the world of Daily Kos - ah, now there, you can find kindred spirits aplenty. There, I have found my fill of simpatico people, with whom I can have a three hour discussion involving politics, religion, semantics - and who know that "proletariat" is not a type of cheese.
Hampered as I am by ego and fear, I could easily have gone years on Daily Kos without ever meeting a soul. It's hard work expanding one's horizons. What if I make friends... and they actually stick around? What if I become accountable to someone other than myself and my immediate family? What if - god forbid - these friendships entail the demand of exhausting, selfless action on my part - like, say, being there for someone if s/he needs a ride to the airport, or someone to wait for test results with? What if, indeed. It's almost certain.
So, while I cannot speak with any authority on what may happen, geopolitically speaking, as the result of regular interaction with actual human beings from Daily Kos, already I know that the personal effect will be cataclysmic.
I know, for instance, that if I am injured in a car accident, Barbara H will visit me in the hospital.
I know that Alysheba and Barbara H will not stop nagging at me to write a one-woman show.
I know that Shockwave will not let me get away with false humility and self-deprecation.
I know that if JeanniSkip or Kateski19 were to get into trouble, I would be there for them in whatever way possible.
I know that Tom P., dealing with his father's Alzheimer's, can count on me if he wants to talk or have coffee.
I know, in other words, that the landscape of my life has been altered forever - and for the better, my grousing about being a misanthrope to the contrary - by my personal association with these people who show up for food and conversation every month.
Let the geopolitical chips fall where they may; when we come up with a mission statement and begin the real work of trying to make a difference in the world at large, I will be there, doing my part, whatever that part entails.
But we've already changed the world, you see. My son has a mother who is actively involved in the world, rather than passively receptive of the events unfolding out there and in here. God only knows what effect having a mother with self-esteem and purpose will have on Terry - but I'd bet a fortune it will be a positive effect. And that's just one little person whose life has been at least slightly altered for the better, whose mother has become a better mother by virtue of becoming a more receptive person. The ripple effects of connecting with other people are enormous. If a butterfly in the Amazon... well, you know the rest.
So what am I saying? I'm saying you can do it, too. If, like me, you have made your world small and manageable and lonely, you can change that. It doesn't take much. Organize a meet-up in your area. "Whenever two or more are gathered in my name, I am among you." That seemingly innocuous, seemingly religious statement can be applied in a more personal and specific way: one Kossack communicating with other Kossacks online is lovely; one Kossack meeting another Kossack for coffee can change the world.
I issue this challenge to you all, be you denizens of large metropolitan areas or small rural communities: Organize a gathering of Kossacks once a month in your area. Just put it out there and see what happens. If you're living in some isolated rural area, make the commitment to travel, just once a month, to the nearest town where other Kossacks can meet. Write a diary asking people in your area to correspond with you. Take it from there. Even if your group never does anything but eat and drink and talk... great things can happen.
They're happening for the Encino 7. They're happening for me. Leap... and the net will appear.