(Yes, I'm a ringer subbing for the High Sultan of Snark himself, Bill in Portland, Maine, but fear not, he will be back in command of Cheers and Jeers tomorrow!)
From Sarasota, Florida, home of Katherine Harris (ewww!) and AC/DC lead singer Brian Johnson (FREE BIRD! Ooops. Wrong group!).......
Cue the trumpets! (da-da-da-dadaaaah!!!)
Cue the drums! (rat-a-tat-a-tat!!!)
Cue the cymbals! (CRASH!)
Cue the electric guitars! (deedala-deedala-deedala!)
Cue the accordions! (the accordions????!!!!)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, fellow Kossacks, Kossians, and children of all ages, let's all celebrate:
National Headache Awareness Week!
So, to a rousing round of "Lady of Spain", Cheers and Jeers TUESDAY Ringer Edition starts your way in the Extended Entry section.......(SWOOOSH!) Right NOW! (GONG!)
DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, mattress photos, various insults to Armando, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
DOC'S BAD JOKE OF THE WEEK:
(In the yellow box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
Scientists at the University of Oklahoma recently perfected human cloning, and actually developed a clone of the lead scientist on the project.
The clone was identical to the lead scientist in every way, except that the clone was extremely profane. Being Oklahoma, all sorts of sensibilities were offended, beyond the controversy the cloning itself created.
So one night the scientists decided to get rid of their clone. They took him up to the highest part of Owen Field (the football stadium) to push him over the side. Before they could do so, a campus policemen stopped them.
"You`re under arrest"
"What`s the charge?" the scientists asked.
"You`re under arrest for trying to make an obscene clone fall."
CHEERS to meetups! OK, ours in Sarasota was not nearly as big as recent ones in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Harper's Ferry, but we three (Mad Ramblings Of a Sane Woman, my girlfriend Nancy, and myself) still had a fine time! Here's a shot of MadBob and I holding a Café towel:
JEERS to slavery in our time. As detailed in this excellent diary from Sunday, homeless people are being lured into the fields for agricultural work, then not getting paid. While Jeb! has spoken out on the topic, it was to discuss human slavery in.....Cuba! But then the homeless don't give the R's money like the Cubanismos do.....check.
CHEERS to standing up to injustice--in the 19th century. On this day in 1893, Mohandas Gandhi refused to give up his seat in the first-class compartment of a South African train. This was Gandhi's first recorded act of civil disobedience. He would later go on to lead nonviolent resistance in South Africa and later in his native India, and inspire no less than a giant in his own right, the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
CHEERS to projectile undergarment-throwing. Singer and Las Vegas staple Tom Jones turns 65 today. In his long career he recorded hits such as, "What's New, Pussycat?", "She's a Lady", and "It's Not Unusual", sung in his live shows with plunging necklines, exposing medallions and lots of chest hair, and a whole lot of bending on one knee, which drove many of the ladies wild. Let's hope the undies weren't TOO used.
CHEERS to big fake boobs slathered in meringue, and the babes who wear them---OW! OUCH! ---er---make that JEERS to big fake boobs slathered in meringue, and the women who wear them. Or something like that. Somebody pass the Icy Hot.
Like, JEERS to the Supremes. Dude, they like upheld the narcs taking away medical marijuana away from, like, the medical patients who need it. At least Justice Stevens was, like, telling the plaintiff dudes that there were, like, other legal options available, including passing a Federal law. Cool dude for a Republican. Now, like, where are my Cheetos?
CHEERS to the Mighty Wurlitzer. Not THAT mighty Wurlitzer: The Roaring Twenties Pizza and Pipes restaurant in nearby Ellenton has a 1931 Wurlitzer theatre organ, a "full unit" model complete with orchestral effects. The two musicians who entertain are superb at playing with the organ to reach its fullest potential.
JEERS to bad timing. A trek by two Minnesota men across the Arctic Ocean via the North Pole to call attention to the problem of global warming was ended because of....wait for it....unexpected heavy snow, wind, and ice. Oops.
CHEERS to Spam, spam, spam, spam, spamdy spam, wonderful spam! (Bloody Vikings!) The Broadway show "Spamalot" won best musical at Sunday night's Tony awards. And now, suitably honored, the cast will cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with..........a herring!
CHEERS to common-sense New Yorkers. Yesterday the Public Authorities Control Board voted against approval of the proposed West Side Stadium in New York City. Democratic State Assemblyman Sheldon Silver, who represents lower Manhattan, took the lead in scuttling the deal, pointing out that the 2.2 billion dollars proposed to be spent on the stadium would be better spent on repairing schools and infrastructure, for starters--not to mention revitalization of the WTC area, which Mayor Bloomberg STILL hasn't gotten done.
(So it's a Weekend Edition title. Sue me)
The week's winner is: none other than Governor Goodhair himself, Rick Perry of Texas!
(Golf clap?......)
It's only Tuesday, but I don't think we can top this one: The state's top executive chose a church gymnasium, at Calvary Christian Academy in Dallas, as the venue to sign legislation restricting abortion for women under 18 and banning same-sex marriage. Emails were sent to supporters imploring them to fill the stands with "pro-family" supporters for the event.
Did I mention that Gov. Goodhair is up for re-election next year? Ah, but you knew that, didn't you.
I don't know how much more snark I can add to that.
The floor is yours! What do y`all have to cheer and jeer about today?