i grew up in a family that never let anything end - arguments and slights continued without ever finding resolution. it was the she said/she said... without end. each of us fought over our "position" with passion.
this community is caught in that same timewarp. no one is willing to let go. no one is willing to simply STOP. arguments based on different perceptions don't change instantly, it takes reasoned argument, rational interaction and a willingness to listen.
what i am observing here at kos for the last few days is a defensiveness from all sides: women defending why they feel justified at being slighted, men justifying why they feel they weren't slighting, both justifying why these issues should superced any other issue, some justifying why they are "taking their ball" and going home.
NONE, absolutely NONE of this is relevant to this site, imho.
Dailykos is a political site organized to further the common goal: taking back america from the greatest threat it has ever faced.
People, we have to prioritize what is the greatest threat at this moment! that threat is the assault on this country by the far right. if this threat and attack is not stopped, women's issues will be the least of our worries!! We can work within the frame of the primary role to advance the secondary role, but to lose sight of the REAL issues at stake is to lose this country!
What, then, is the solution to our current disintegration? STOP. Do not post another diary on that stupid, irrelevant commercial.
Men: stop defending yourselfs, your position, women's positions, the ad, the site.
Women: stop attacking men, the ad, their position, the inequalities (that DO exist, but this is not the time!), the site.
The definition of "women's issues" is not something that needs specifically defining, otherwise we will be spending the next forty years arguing the platform.
The behavior of men and women relevant to these issues will take more than the next year or two and a half to come to agreement - and during that time, we have two very important elections to deal with.
Markos (please forgive the unsolicited advice) DON'T defend, discuss, engage in any more posters regarding this subject at this time. it is a distraction from your stated purpose of this site. i was dismayed to find the issue on the front page the same day that michaelmoore.com had your site prominently listed in the downing street minutes as an "excellent source" - then their link was inadvertently to the front page with your "rules" posted. i emailed the webguy and he changed it to the conyers letter diary, but if i had viewed that page for the first exposure to kos, it would have been my last.
Armando: i really love your insights but - please resist removing the scab on this one - we REALLY REALLY need to let this whole issue stop and deal with issues one post at a time.
Members: i can't help believing we are also being manipulated by some outside forces as well as our own (i may go start looking at usids to see if the most baiting ones are 50,000+).
we all have hot buttons, where and when we allow those buttons to be pushed or when we let them push us over the edge is entirely in our control. the easiest way to end it is simply don't post a reply. we don't need to get into a "last word" contest.
I am adamantly a woman's rights (and i am NOT a mother, btw) advocate, fighter, etc. - but this is not the forum. we have a greater foe than ourselves.
we HAVE to defeat the current neocons before there are no rights at all left in this country. this site is not the forum to have this battle. if we direct all our energy into this battle here and now - we will lose the attention of those members of congress who take us seriously. this insanity makes us look foolish - even though the issue is a valid one.
Here is how we look to the rest of the world:
A TV ad over a reality show posts on a political site.
for 4 days, the site engages in a major battle among members about the validity of the ad, the portrayal of women in the ad, the men and women divide, all other political discussion stops, people leave, people continue to feel hurt, misunderstood, the issues sparks many many diaries....
and the politics continue... and we are out of the loop.
we need to let this issue go - to stop discussing it... to exercise self control and not respond when someone brings it up. we need to get back to the real issues that are going to destroy this country while we burn over an issue that isn't going to be resolved overnight. gender issues, women's issues - they take time to resolve. it is about understanding and attitudes. we don't have the luxury of time to try to "fix" this problem until we "fix" the one that is killing kids in iraq and afghanistan, killing our economy, killing this country and the stability of the world.
OFFICIAL END OF LECTURE: also, this diary will be the last time i post on the subject. i'm not going to say more in the body of the diary - i think i've said it all here.
[PLEASE, if you feel you want to post here, do not post ANY comments on that damned ad or why it was necessary to comment on it... i think every thing that could be said has been said] thanks for listening and back to politics......]