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  1. All white, upper middle class suburbs, defined as having one or more subdivisions characterized by "McMansions," will be forcibly evacuated by units of the National Guard. The snivelling, spoiled, whiny residents will be herded into crowded, nonairconditioned semi- trailers and hauled to Miami Beach.

  2. From there, the snivelling, spoiled, whiny McMansionistas will be loaded onto rickety skiffs and sailing craft, then set adrift in the general direction of Mariel, Cuba.

  3. A daily five minutes of love will be observed each day at sundown (this was the idea of bfa, my appointee for Chief of Presidential Concubines--which is a top secret executive branch department initially created during the Kennedy Administration, but one whose influence had languished until the Clinton Administration).

  4. You may reach out and hug the nearest anyone who is opposite of yourself in some way. First, however, you must get a signed release from the intended target of your affection which absolves you of any responsibility or liability for sexual assault, assault and battery, assault with intent to commit mayhem, etc.
 

  1. All former white, upper middle class suburbs will be fenced off, with entry/exit checkpoints manned by National Guard units.

  2. These areas will be designated "green zones" for illegal aliens, who will be the only persons authorized to enter.

  3. The nannies, gardeners, roofers, cooks, busboys, dishwashers, maids, painters, and armies of others who previously served these communities daily after long and arduous bus journeys from the inner city, will now be able to occupy the former prisons of their meager existences as "Lords of the Manor."

  4. All remaining wealthy conservatives (ie, those few formerly not living in McMansions) will be forced to undergo reeducation. pastordan will be appointed MINISTER of Reeducation (there,pd, you are finally an official minister), and will oversee a curriculum that will include lengthy review and analysis of each day's Daily Kos "Recommended Diaries."

  5. For an as yet to be determined rights fee, the United Church of Christ will be designated the official church of the Donkeytale Presidency. This means free cookies for the entire nation.

{editors note: in homage to his favorite author, Marcel Proust, Donkeytale confesses to the entire nation that his current concubine "Albertine", is really just some dude named "Albert."}

Originally posted to Donkeytale on Sun Jul 03, 2005 at 05:09 AM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Yes!!! (none)
    Great stuff.

    AG

    "Let the intelligent read and understand, and let the ignorant stay that way." From the earliest known piece of writing. A Mesopotamian shopping list. Nice.

    by Arthur Gilroy on Sun Jul 03, 2005 at 05:24:37 AM PDT

  •  What? (none)
    "...A daily five minutes of love will be observed each day at sundown..."

    Should be enough time to do it 3 times.  

    Be the creature. (But not a Republican.) blogomni

    by boran2 on Sun Jul 03, 2005 at 05:45:18 AM PDT

    •  Orwell: 1984 (none)
      had daily Five Minutes of Hate sessions. It's only fair for progressives to have the exact opposite ;-)

      Or As-Many-Minutes-As-You-Need-of-Love sessions...

    •  Yes. Under Donkeytale (none)
      US Productivity (and Reproductivity) will reach heights undreamed of even by the Supply Siders.

      And if for some reason you are alone at sundown, you are authorized to use whatever is "at hand."

      Under a Donkeytale Administration, Americans will no longer have to suffer shame and societal condemnation simply for pleasuring themselves or each other.

      France will be installed as the greatest nation in the world, at least from a cultural and culinary standpoint. We'll gloss over their duplicitous military and political history.

      Love affairs will be legalized, but only in the afternoons.

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