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[OK, fine. I'll put this Meta on the frontpage. Today's a good day for a break, but what have I sunk to? -- Hunter.]

There's no good time to do this, when it won't look like I'm intentionally picking on someone or another -- but I've been meaning to write this for two weeks, so if you've made MetaJesus cry in the last two weeks, that's between you and him, but I'm only talking "abstractly".

There are a number of ways to make MetaJesus, personal MetaSavior of MetaDiaries on MetaKos, cry. Here they are, in no particular order.

- 1. Referring to Armando in your title.  Variations include "Armando is Wrong", "Why Armando is Wrong", "Armando is Still Wrong", "The Unbearable Wrongness of Armando", "Wrong Armando and Wrong: Wrong Wrong?"

There is literally no title which benefits, in today's steamy soup of diary thoughts, from mentioning Armando. Unless your target reader is Armando, in which case Armando will read it, but the rest of us will be sorely jealous that we cannot be equally Wrong.

And besides, a good piece of writing or argument should be able to stand on it's own, without invoking the Armando. If your argument is actually good, invoking Armando defeats the power of your diary. It's like writing an opera, then performing it with your pants around your knees. (Unless that's the effect you're going for, in which case it's brilliant.)

Thus, referring to Armando in your diary title makes MetaJesus cry. If you edit it out, your title will contain about 50% more content per word.

- 2. Declaring in your diary title that everyone but you is "missing the point". This is very similar to declaring Armando is Wrong, but instead you call 60,000 other people Wrong at the same time, so Armando won't be lonely.

The problem, again, is that your argument should be able to stand without the declaration that nobody but you personally understands it. MetaJesus cries when you claim 60,000 people aren't as smart as you are, as you present your idea that was actually presented many times before, just not using the same exact turn of phrase that you personally favor. Then MetaJesus gets up to get a soda, and feels better.

- 3. Issue X is a Distraction From Issue Y, Damnit!  It is inevitable that, for any given issue, there will be a large percentage of the population that is convinced that the issue was planned and executed in advance in order to sneakily divert attention from the real issue, which is slinking by on the righthand portion of your monitor that is just out of view of human vision.

Now, don't get me wrong, often times distractions are planned. But there is a circularness to the cold, clammy debate that is both poetic and fearsome, like the steep and muddy waves crashing on a beach during a winter storm. And there's some flotsam there or something, I don't know.

For example, the Roberts SCOTUS nomination was widely seen as an attempt at distraction from Rove's troubles. Except for some people, who thought Rove's troubles were intentionally being dragged out to keep people from concentrating on Roberts. And Roberts also distracted from Bolton, who was about to be recess appointed (no, I mean that literally -- Roberts was to be appointed during the president's recess period, in which he gets to run around the Texas plains for a while, hopefully tiring himself out and ready for a good noontime nap.)

Roberts, Bolton, and Rove all were clever distractions, of course, from the ongoing saga of torture at Abu Ghraib and elsewhere. Abu Ghraib, in turn, was a planned distraction from the energy bill, and from the Coingate troubles in Ohio, which were carefully engineered by the Ohio Republican Party to keep us from talking about Tom DeLay. In fact, every act of Republican corruption for the last five years has been an ongoing attempt to distract the public from the last act of Republican corruption. Actually being corrupt is just a coincidence.

The point is that if Issue Y is your most important issue, and you think people are spending too much time on Issue X, MetaJesus commands you to write compelling articles about Issue Y yourself, because clearly everyone else is an idiot who managed to get their fingers stuck between their keyboard keys, and are frantically dialing 9-1-1 with their tongues.

Come to think of it, if nobody else is writing about the same topic you are, on any given day, it probably means they're trapped by their keyboards, so you should probably call 911. Or call upon MetaJesus, who, if He has finished his Diet Pepsi, will free them.

- 4. Why Is Nobody But The Last Five Consecutive Frontpage Posts Talking About Issue X?  A clever, almost vampiric combination of 1, 2, and 3, above, this diary topic manages to declare that everyone is wrong or ignoring the issue without actually noticing that everyone else has been talking about the same issue for days.

MetaJesus is very forgiving of repeat diaries. They are inevitable, and in many cases, actually useful. However, creating a repeat diary that lambastes the rest of the community for ignoring your already-much-diaried diary topic causes MetaJesus to wonder if you're putting us on.

- 5. You Suck. Now Read Me, Bitches!  Truly, nothing is more endearing than spending entire posts on your own website decrying how much DailyKos sucks, and how nobody should ever go to DailyKos, then crossposting everything else you write at DailyKos. This doesn't make MetaJesus cry so much as it makes him roll his eyes and wonder about finally taking that job his dad suggested in Indiana driving tourists around to see the various stains on freeway underpasses that look kinda like emoticons.

There's nothing wrong with criticizing DailyKos, mind you. It's a huge community, with many members that personally suck -- don't try to hide it. I know. But if you're going to spend time on your site specifically telling people to not come to our site, then post a continual stream of crossposts on our site linking people to your site, MetaJesus reserves the right to wonder if your brain is on straight.

It's like a dog under the kitchen table who can't decide what to do with your leg, since you're not looking and he's right there and all. Maybe it will be something good. Maybe it will be something bad. Odds are, it's going to surprise the hell out of you, causing you to twitch violently, bang your leg on the crossbar underneath the table, making all the plates jump an inch into the air and knocking every single water glass over. And then there will be swearing.

MetaJesus' lesson for you: whether you're biting our legs or humping them, just try to be a little consistent, will you? Nobody likes gravy in their lap.

Well, I suppose the dog would, but this metaphor is already threatening to leak out the crack in your monitor between the screen itself and the ever-so-boldly technodesigned plastic casing, ready to jump and throttle the part of your brain that used to appreciate such imagery. Don't blame me, it's your own brain's fault for not putting up a defensive wall the minute I said "dog" and "leg".

- 6. MetaDiaries  Let's face it, nobody likes MetaDiaries. Nothing makes MetaJesus cry more than creating a MetaDiary, talking about MetaIssues like MetaArmandoism. People who create MetaDiaries are truly sad, lonely people. People who comment on them are typically even worse. And yet, here we are. May MetaJesus bless us and degauss our spirits as needed.

Originally posted to Daily Kos on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:32 AM PDT.


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Comment Preferences

  •  Sad, Loneley, Worse (none)
    ...and, uh, Proud.

    Metas don't bug me so much.  Maybe it's cause I have so little of substance to say in "real" diaries.


  •  Hunter... (none)
    marry me?


    Comments referring only to ratings are a nuisance. Noise. They waste time and bandwidth. We're all dumber for having read them.

    by willowby on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:10:27 AM PDT

    •  he writes like cool rain on a hot (4.00)
      august day, doesn't he?

      Oh, to have a tiny fraction of his clarity of thought, his gift for words, and his delicious touch of snark.  The cream of the cream.

      Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors. Mister Rogers

      by station wagon on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:16:36 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Hunter, I love you for this (none)
    and specifically for this

    The point is that if Issue Y is your most important issue, and you think people are spending too much time on Issue X, MetaJesus commands you to write compelling articles about Issue Y yourself, because clearly everyone else is an idiot who managed to get their fingers stuck between their keyboard keys, and are frantically dialing 9-1-1 with their tongues.

    Contrary to your point 6 I actually think meta is useful and cathartic, in moderation.  This diary, for example, is excellent meta.

  •  maybe it's me (4.00)
    but MetaJesus sounds adorable.

    You'd better do as you are told-You'd better listen to your radio

    by AnnArborBlue on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:13:38 AM PDT

  •  Let's face it, nobody likes MetaDiaries (none)
    I do like this one, though.
  •  Armando might read this: (none)
    Metathanks. I'm tired of those too.
  •  Does this mean (4.00)
    my plan to take a picture of Kos, draw a beard on it, and post a diary proclaiming that Armando is Kos from a mirror universe a bad idea?
  •  Best.MetaDiary.Ever. (none)
    Hunter, you rock!
  •  I have been meaning to make a smartass comment (4.00)
    for some time now about how I wished I had a dollar for every diary that proclaimed Armando was wrong.

    Another thing that makes Baby MetaJesus cry are the following diary titles:

    Where is the outrage??

    Where are the Democrats/Howard Dean/Harry Reid/Etc??

    Reigning Welterweight Female Piefighter since 1998

    by ablington on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:20:33 AM PDT

  •  crossposts (none)
    sometimes things are important and worthy of crossposting.

    but I have no patience for "look at me" crossposts, or "look at me" diaries in general.

    oh well. it takes all kinds to make a community. guess if I'm annoyed with what shows up on this blog, I can always start my own damn blog and control the content that way.

    •  You've (none)
      hit on one of my pet peeves.

      More power to the people who have garnered enough confidence in their ideas and the expression of those ideas from their experience at DK to go on and form their own blog.

      However, by doing so, that person (or persons) has made it obvious that they have found something lacking here at DK thus leading to them creating their own place.

      So why do they still feel the incessant need to come back and make "look at me" posts here?  

      Could it be the attention that an audience of 60,000 users can give?

      •  SSP (none)
        Well, Markos has encouraged people (at least in the past) to cross-post good material from their blogs into diaries here. I don't think that's unreasonable - and I certainly did so often enough in the early days of running the Swing State Project. Just cuz something is posted in two places doesn't automatically make it bad.

        Obviously, though, the bitchy, I-hate-DKos x-posted diaries are crap, though.

           Find out why libertarians are easy pickin's for dems this cycle. From the libertarians website:

          14 Marines Killed in Iraq as President Bush Vacations

          Does the Bush Administration Take Its Job Seriously?

          (Washington, D.C.) On Wednesday, 14 Marines deployed to Iraq from Ohio were killed when their armored vehicle hit a roadside bomb. The attack is one of the deadliest attacks to take place in Iraq. Days earlier, six Marines from the same unit were killed in a fire-fight near Haditha.

          Meanwhile, Republican President George W. Bush set out yesterday to begin his five-week vacation in Crawford, Texas. The planned vacation will be the longest presidential getaway in 36 years (Richard Nixon spent over a month at his San Clemente estate in 1969).

          While Bush's aides and enablers defend the president's aggressive vacationing, it is simply poor leadership on the part of the Commander in Chief. While American soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen are disallowed from simply returning to the United States as scheduled and risks their lives in Iraq each day, the President of the United States enjoys the comfort and pleasures of his Crawford ranch.

          "As a self-professed 'Wartime President', George W. Bush needs to start taking his job seriously by showing the leadership that our troops deserve," said Shane Cory, director of communications for the Libertarian Party.

          Cory continued, "Throughout his presidency, Bush has wrapped himself in patriotic rhetoric by using the troops as the focus of American pride. It's time for Bush to take a step toward working as hard as they do by simply staying on the job and finding a way to bring our troops home."

          Quick Facts:

          • American troops reported dead in Iraq: 1822
          • Length of the invasion/occupation of Iraq: 869 days
          • Crawford vacation days of the Bush presidency: 319 days (20%)
          • Average days of annual paid vacation of the working American: 13
          • Days of annual leave for military personnel: 30
          •  I gave you a 4, (none)
            because I have no idea why you got troll rated, but I also have no idea what point you were trying to make. Seems to me the libertarian position quoted above is identical to the front page diary by plutonium page. Care to elaborate?

            Democracy is the worst form of government except for all those others that have been tried. -Winston Churchill

            by roysol on Thu Aug 04, 2005 at 06:51:55 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

      •  I do it (none)
        when I'm wanting a bigger audience for something than I think I can get on my blog, or when I'm hoping to get some constructive criticism from a wider community. And the site traffic is kinda nice, sometimes, too.
    •  One day (none)
      We will all be writing and reading our own blogs only, in a vacuum of self absorption.

      Or not.


      Rated "Unproductive" by BillinPortlandMaine 1 year in a row!

      by Revel on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:51:05 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Yep. A new blog is now started ... (none)
      ...every second. That's 31 million blogs a year. Soon none of us will be commenting on other blogs, we'll all be writing on our own and cross-posting on everybody else's.

      "The President wanted to go into Iraq in the worst possible way. And he did." -- Nancy Pelosi

      by Meteor Blades on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:22:28 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  And then we can say that . (none)
        Libertarianism will have truly triumphed.

        After that I guess we can all take our bats and balls and go home.

        In a democratic society some are guilty, but all are responsible. -Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

        by a gilas girl on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 05:35:24 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  I actually have a bracelet: WWAD. (4.00)
    I spend a lot of time saying, "Heh."

    Let there be sharks - TracieLynn

    by GussieFN on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:25:20 AM PDT

  •  I've always though a (4.00)
    more effective, if not down right funny, title would be "Armando is a genius." Especially if you own stock in a keyboard manufacturer.
  •  Armando is missing the point! (4.00)
    Armando's obsession with election fraud is distracting him from Karl Rove's treason, damn it!  Why isn't any one writing about OH-2? You all suck!  Read my blog!

    Want to help fight the Bush Crime Family? Join ePluribus Media.

    by Sandia Blanca on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:27:58 AM PDT

  •  Hunter is Wronger than Armando. (4.00)

     This is what you call a hyper-meta comment, or HMC.  I'm procrastinating.  Back to work.  Thanks for everything Hunter, and Armando.


    . . . religion is not a syllogism, but a poem. H.L. Mencken

    by BenGoshi on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:28:10 AM PDT

  •  Can I add (4.00)
    That MetaJesus gets a tremendous headache because of ALL THAT SHOUTING GOING ON IN DIARY TITLES!!

    lib·er·al: Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.

    by Joan McCarter on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:28:31 AM PDT

  •  What would MetaJesus Do? (none)
    It's the new Golden Rule of diarying(is that a word?).
       Funny post, but when I saw the title, I thought this was going to be something on "God in the Gaps"/Intelligent Design.
  •  WWMJD? (3.66)
    What Would MetaJesus Do?
  •  What does MetaJesus say about (4.00)
    diary titles that are intentionally false, in order to make everyone look?

    Such diaries inevitably lead to 100 comments arguing about whether the title is blatant sensationalism, or ACCEPTABLE blatant sensationalism, versus 2 comments about the subject matter itself.  Which seems to defeat the point.

      I agree.

      Progressives live for the future. Conservatives dwell in the past.

      by socratic on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:04:54 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Holy Shucking Fit... (none)
        ...Was that funny.

        Laughed out loud, for far too long, causing my Jack Russell terrier to eye me suspiciously and move away.

        •  Believe it or not... (none)
          ... that's the second appearance of ALTBG.  The first time, however, was in binary and required a trip offsite to translate it (long story ... ok, short story, but uninteresting).  

          I keep telling myself that I'm going to raise my own level of contribution around here and stop going for cheap, erm, gags, but I guess I'm weak.

          Progressives live for the future. Conservatives dwell in the past.

          by socratic on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:41:45 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  "ALTBG." (none)
            Quite pithy.

            "I keep telling myself that I'm going to raise my own level of contribution around here and stop going for cheap, erm, gags, but I guess I'm weak."

            (rimshot, then:)

            Heck, keeping things funny and alive around here is a GREAT contribution.  

  •  That was good for a laugh (none)

    Wounded Warrior Project Give till it hurts. They already did.

    by soonergrunt on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:34:08 AM PDT

  •  Thanks Wikipedia (none)

    "I have sworn upon the altar of god, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." Jefferson

    by Michael Alton Gottlieb on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:35:03 AM PDT

  •  You made me picture.. (4.00)
    ...fat people singing "Das Rheingold" with their pants down.

    Stop it. Seriously....I'll troll rate yer ass....don't push me.

    "I have no clue" - Bill O'Reilly quoted completely out of context. Hey fair's fair right?

    by chicagochamp on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:35:14 AM PDT

  •  I have been wondering when this site (none)
    became Daily Armando.  

    Coming in August 2005: Broad Street Dem

    by Delaware Dem on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:36:24 AM PDT

    •  And I have been looking (none)
      for the Armando Recap or the Armando Cliff miss a day, and it's like "what happened on Desperate Housewives..quick somebody catch me up!"

      Rated "Unproductive" by BillinPortlandMaine 1 year in a row!

      by Revel on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:39:40 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Could be worse (none)
        I went on vacation for a week, which happened to overlap with the Great Pie Debacle. I got back, and was completely lost. Why was everyone talking about pie? It took a couple of days before I got my bearings back.


        •  Dessert (none)
          Heh. Do you remember the great dessert caper? I don't think we ever officially named that strange episode - the time when dozens of trolls (or maybe one dedicated asshole with lots of different IP addresses) posted insane (and inane) comments all over the place with nothing in them except phrases like "Cheesecake" or "Vanilla Ice Cream".
        •  Vacations (none)
          Oh, also, you are not allowed to take vacations from DailyKos, obviously.
          •  I go away for weeks at a time now (none)
            And only details change, the meta-ness remains the same. The fights being circular come around again. Popes, Abortion, Pie--eh! When are we gonna have a big tree fight, that's what I wanna know?

            Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. - Mark Twain

            by Rolfyboy6 on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:18:53 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          •  I go away for weeks at a time now (none)
            And only details change, the meta-ness remains the same. The fights being circular come around again. Popes, Abortion, Pie--eh! When are we gonna have a big tree fight, that's what I wanna know?

            Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. - Mark Twain

            by Rolfyboy6 on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:20:13 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          •  How could I go on vacation (none)
            when I have nothing to vacate?

            Culture of life? More like Republican cesspool of violence.

            by vancookie on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:37:45 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

        •  Which one (none)
          Would that be the SYFP debacle or the Women Smearing Themselves with Pie debacle?

          Mentioning Pie on this site is very dangerous.  Perhaps there is something insidious about pie?  Perhaps Republicans have embeded secret commands into the word pie which sends Democrats over the edge?

          Beware the Pie.  (I think Armando is responsible.)

          "What is hateful to thee, thou shalt not do unto thy neighbor. This is the whole of the Law, the rest is only commentary" Rabbi Hillel

          by modthinglet on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:57:56 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  I never did figure out (none)
            what the Shut Your Effin' Piehole thing was about.
            •  That involved (none)
              me and some other fascist Democratic Male pigs telling the masses to shut the fuck up and support Kerry damnit, once the primary was over.  Lots of Dean Freaks were really upset by that, saying I wanted a loyalty oath.

              I further upset people after the election with a piece of litary brilliance called "Fuck Ohio."

              Coming in August 2005: Broad Street Dem

              by Delaware Dem on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 02:18:33 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

          •  The latter (none)
            I came back to the ringing echoes of a dieing flamewar, but it had moved beyond "discussion" of the ad (which was still running), so it took a while to figure out the context.

            Which reminds me: Are all pies verbotten, or just dessert pies? I like shepard's pie and chicken pot pie (in an act of peversity, I once made the latter while watching Chicken Run...)


            •  Beware all. (none)
              All pies.  In fact, right now, by using the word Pie, we may be sending commands of insanity to the progressives around us.

              (Republicans are devious and sneaky.  If you do not believe that the Republicans are capable of inputting, and have inputted commands into the word "Pie," you are a vichy Dem.

              I repeat--I suspect Armando is the Republican operative responsible for inserting the secret commands into the word "Pie." He needs to be banned.)

              "What is hateful to thee, thou shalt not do unto thy neighbor. This is the whole of the Law, the rest is only commentary" Rabbi Hillel

              by modthinglet on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 01:54:25 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  It's actually a sub-conscious command.... (none)
                ....that is a play on words on both the words "pie" and "pi."

                See, pies are round (not square, bah dum bah) and pi is the ratio of the circumference to the diameter.

                What do both remind you of?  CIRCLES.

                As in "the circular firing squad," hmmm?  Does that ring a bell?

                Which obviously brings us to why Armando is wrong, because he's a Republican agent distracting us from the Real Issues (tm), that are only cross-posted on other liberal blogs, and if you don't believe that, you're obviously wrong, and the constant fights the eminate from the word "pie" (D'oh!) obviously prove this all to be a nefarious Neo-con plot, orchestrated with the help of Diebold, that lives in the house that Bush built.

                And I don't know why anyone else hasn't tried to cleverly tie all these themes together before in this thread. :)

        •  What about (none)
          the Ohio voting fraud wars?  I remember that being quite, um, passionate.  I don't think any pie was involved, though.  It seems these controversies arise on a regular basis.

          Keep an open mind, but don't let your brains fall out.

          by Unstable Isotope on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 04:17:39 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  They were flinging them then, not protesting them (none)
            I think someone looked down at the pie they were about to throw, and said "Hey, I hate this pie!!!"

            Rated "Unproductive" by BillinPortlandMaine 1 year in a row!

            by Revel on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 07:47:59 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  •  My theological acuity (none)
    has increased noticeably since I began frequenting this site. MetaJesus. Ahh, yes. I think he IS interested.

    "We must become the change we want to see." -Gandhi

    by larryrant on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:36:42 AM PDT

  •  You insenstive clod! (4.00)
    May I still complain about polls when the CowboyNeal option is missing?


  •  A hypothetical question. (none)
    (What would the world be like without hypothetical situations ;-)

    I wrote a diary - quite important unfortunately I posted it at a lousy time (Saturday morning for example). So no one read it.

    I know it's really important. I mean, it's really really important. Current events make it even more so.

    Should I re-post? Will you really ban me for reposting a really really really important diary?


  •  No Armando diaries? (4.00)
    That's like telling the racing greyhounds to ignore the rabbit.

    Darkness washed over the Dude...darker than a black steer's tookus on a moonlight prairie night...there was no bottom

    by moon in the house of moe on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:37:35 AM PDT

  •  I am commenting and recommending (none)
    After only reading two points above (yes, I will go back and read the rest...sheesh)

    Seriously good points made in (what I consider) the best way, with some humor.  We can sometimes become inadvertently condescending, and also overly abusive to Armando.  As Mother Revel says, "All things in moderation."

    Now, to read the rest the of the points and make my co-workers jealous that I obviously have the best lunchtime reading material.

    Rated "Unproductive" by BillinPortlandMaine 1 year in a row!

    by Revel on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:37:42 AM PDT

  •  Be honest Hunter (none)
    YOU'RE MetaJesus, aren't you?

    <cue heavenly choir>

    It was the diet pepsi that gave you away.  I have it on good authority that MetaSatan drinks diet coke.

    Visit - a blended double-tequila margarita of pop culture & LA nightlife.

    by KB on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:38:44 AM PDT

  •  well (4.00)
    ...I guess I'll refrain from writing my planned MetaMisterMet diary then. Too bad, it was gonna be Meta-riffic.

    "I didn't dig it out, it was given to me... they gave me the name and I used it." - Novak, Newsday, 7/22/03

    by thirdparty on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:40:01 AM PDT

    •  7th Inning Meta Stretch (none)
      Step right up and greet the Metas!
      Bring your kiddies,
      bring your wife;
      Guaranteed to have the time of your life
      because the Metas are really sockin' the ball; knocking those home runs over the wall!
      East side,
      West side,
      everybody's coming down
      to meet the M-E-T-A-S Metas of D-Kos town!

      Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the streets,
      where did they go? To MEET THE METAS!
      Oh, theyíre hollerin' and cheerin' and theyíre jumpin' in their seats,
      where did they go? To MEET THE METAS!
      All the fans are tru to the orange and blue,
      so hurry up and come on down -
      'cause we've got ourselves a ball club,
      The Metas of D Kos town!
      Give 'em a yell!
      Give 'em a hand!
      And let 'em know your rootin' in the stand!

      Apologies to Armando.

    •  Don't take your eye off that guy. (none)
      If you take your eye off him, he will attack you.

      blog | These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined. -- Homer Simpson

      by folkbum on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:28:59 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Uh, OK (none)
    But two questions: what is a Meta and who is Armando?
  •  Meta - anything? (none)
    OK.  went to the dKosopedia, the glossery, searched etc and I still don't know what a meta-thingy is.  Can I get a little help from the smart people...

    It's still upsetting for some people to know that the hippies were the ones telling the truth about Vietnam and trying to help America. - Anonymous

    by eunichorn on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:40:59 AM PDT

  •  So, let me see if I have this straight (4.00)
    The ultimate sin, the MetaCrucifiction if you will, would be a diary that makes the following argument:

    Armando's last 5 front-page posts are missing the point about how issue X is a distraction from issue Y, and the entire dKos community sucks because they agree with Armando, and this is crossposted from my blog where I show the Right Way to look at things.

    The scary thing is that I'm pretty sure I've read diaries making just such an "argument".


  •  Now THAT'S a Jesus... (none)
    I could worship, no prob.

    You've corralled an excellent menagerie of diary beasties.   And you're an awesome writer, friend.
    Agreed on all points.

    Re Point the First:  absolutely right.  Less childish narcissicm from the One who Must Not be Referenced would help this immensely, however.  It's hard to ignore a certain someone-or-something when he, she, or it runs up and down a thread personally policing every single fucking comment, last-wording every single perceived dis.  I mean, Jaysus.  

    Word to the Front Page crew.  

  •  Isn't This A "You Suck" Diary Itself? (none)
    I mean, you have a point and all...
    But this is kinda the same thing you are calling out.
    Perhaps simply:
    "Let's stop picking on each other"
    Would sum this all up.

    "Let's stop tromping all over opposing points of view and actually consider them"
    Might also be a good point.

    For example, Hillary. I am waiting for one person to tell me why we should suffer a nominee to be coronated in the media and popular opinion who is everything times a zillion that 94% of this site bemoans about John Kerry? Except she... still... won't even say anything mildly offensive towards BushCo's crusade. When public opinion has turned on that, and now a mildly anti-war position would be safely centrist, but a pro-war position is manifestly rightwing?

    See, I'll consider any response to that which contains facts. And all I ask is that you look into what I'm saying before kneejerking me.

    Let's talk substance, not debate style. We aren't about style over substance, that's the other guys, remember?

  •  I don't care if it meta-freezes (none)
    's'long as I got my plastic meta-Jesus!

    ....wonder about finally taking that job his dad suggested in Indiana driving tourists around to see the various stains on freeway underpasses that look kinda like emoticons
    Wow, what a great job!  Are they still taking applications?

    The most un-American thing you can say is, "You can't say that."
    - G. Keillor

    by Eddie Haskell on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:48:16 AM PDT

  •  Metasuggestion (none)
     When a diary gets moved to the front page please unrecommend it. It probably doesn't need to be on the recommended list also...
  •  Crossposting metaquestion (none)
    If you are cross posting at two blogs (Daily Kos, Booman Tribune, My Left Wing, MyDD, My Cousin Vinny, etc.) and still don't have your own blog are you some kind of twitchy freak?

    I said it. I meant it. I stand by it. - Major Paul Hackett

    by joejoejoe on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:50:32 AM PDT

  •  Another thing that makes MetaJesus cry (none)
    Justice Sundays.

    "You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it." -Malcolm X

    by PsiFighter37 on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:53:13 AM PDT

  •  Yeah, But (none)
    Armando is wrong,

    Isn't he?

  •  Judith Miller not a journalist. (1.00)
    Washington Post
    To the Editor:
    Richard Cohen's defense of Judith Miller's principles (Aug. 2) defends the New York Times reporter from attacks on her honest mistakes, and suggests that other reporters and the Bush Administration made honest mistakes as well. But this completely misses the point being made by those who maintain that Miller's is not a good case on which to build a defense of journalists' rights, as well as the point being made by critics of Bush's drive to war.
    We maintain that there is compelling evidence of dishonesty by both Bush and Miller, that Miller is not a journalist, and that Miller's sources are not sources.
    For the case against Bush, see, among other things, your June 28, 2005, front page article on the Downing Street Memos, which -- after massive public pressure -- was printed about a week after your editorial claiming that those documents "add nothing to what was publicly known in July 2002." Known to whom? Clearly you can't answer "Judith Miller" and continue to defend her work.
    For the case against Miller and her sources, begin with these considerations:
    Miller made clear through her writing and affiliations that she favored an attack on Iraq. She's been promoted as a speaker for the Middle East Forum, which advocated attacking Iraq. She's published books widely criticized as anti-Muslim.
    Miller formally accepted US Military censorship of her articles for the New York Times, violating a standard of journalism at least as significant as that of loyalty to honest sources.
    Miller used as a primary source for her horror stories about WMDs a man with a conviction for embezzlement, a reputation for fraud, a publicly stated interest in moving the United States to attack Iraq, and knowledge of Iraq limited by his not having lived there for four decades.
    Miller took the bizarre step of reporting on claims that WMDs had actually been found while making fairly clear that the US military had not allowed her to actually SPEAK TO her "source."
    Miller's articles routinely present claims that support militarism as unquestionable or confirmed, although they come from a single source with an obvious interest in the story.
    If the above considerations are not enough, consider that the source(s) whom Miller is now protecting are known now (even, presumably, to Judith Miller) to have been engaged not in whistleblowing but in attacking a man who was blowing a whistle on their fraudulent justifications for war. Protecting dishonest sources whose motivation was not to educate a democratic public but to send its young people to kill and die for a lie is not journalistic ethics. It may be mafia ethics or Tom Delay ethics, but it's not journalism.
    Of course we must protect the right of journalists to confidential sources. And of course that must include journalists whom I don't like. But stenography for military officials is not journalism, and when it masquerades as journalism it becomes extremely damaging.
    Would Bush have gone ahead with his war without Judith Miller? Sure. But that excuses neither her nor anyone else who assisted him, and Richard Cohen's suggestion that it does raises questions about your general grasp of ethics.
    David Swanson
  •  What about MetaRachelWacholder (none)
    Does that make Armando wrong since she's apparently beat everyone worthly of beating, meaning that Armando probably has not been beaten buy her, therefore, he's wrong for not being beaten by her - which, if she did beat him, isn't Armando then wrong and needed that beating?

    Well, this will have to be crossposted - as a great piece to read - to the site that says this site sucks cause dkos uses grey borders in some areas and WE ALL KNOW that gray borders are better.

    peace you all - at least we are over OH-2 for the time being.

  •  Keeping up with Armando (4.00)
    the rest of us will be sorely jealous that we cannot be equally Wrong

    Aww, sounds like someone needs a hug, or a boisterous "Fuck you!", I'm not sure.

    You make me cry.

  •  MetaJesus Wept (4.00)
    Where's Armando?

    Why hasn't Armando commented on this Meta Diary?

    Why can't I title
    my Excellent Diaries
    "On The Excellence of Armando"?

    Why can't Kos, like every good anorexic, purge more often?

    Why can't we admit that it's all about Armando?




    "Has He been with us all this time, and yet we still do not know him?"

    Who is the disciple that Armando loves best?

    Why can't we take a meta-vote on what is more sexier... the ACLU ad or the bikini soccer chick?

    Ron Suskind is a great writer. I am not him, nor am I one of them.

    by suskind on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:58:39 AM PDT

    •  (nice work with the float) (none)
      (or the align or whatever)

      (how's that for meta)

      Progressives live for the future. Conservatives dwell in the past.

      by socratic on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:09:34 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  you never see it here (none)
        because it's align="right"

        which doesn't make it right, it just makes it different....

        but you can imagine, if i'd aligned metajesus to the left, how he would be weeping into the margin instead of the message.

        must go fetch some Marshall McLuhan for consolation.... this meta has me melancholic... must dash back virtual pub at the virtual end of the "world"

        Ron Suskind is a great writer. I am not him, nor am I one of them.

        by suskind on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:26:14 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  Do anorexics purge? n/t (none)

      A world where the everyday is inspirational, and the inspirational is everyday.

      by mkrell on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 03:52:32 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  The real reason Kossacks put Armando's name (4.00)
    ... in the title is that it guarantees traffic to the diary. It's a "look at me, look at me" diary. And like flies to flypaper everyone comments and many recommend. And if there is a big brawl and/or Armando shows up, you can be damned sure the diary will get on the recommended list.


    "You don't lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case." - Ken Kesey

    by Glinda on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:01:55 PM PDT

    •  Perhaps... (none)
      the next version of Scoop should automagically replace "Armando" with "Boobies", just like does with "First Post".  

      Progressives live for the future. Conservatives dwell in the past.

      by socratic on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:10:33 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Well better 'boobies' than 'pie' (none)
        Who would ever have thought that "pie" would be more inflamatory than "boobies"?

        "You don't lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case." - Ken Kesey

        by Glinda on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 01:26:13 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  Ok, then, Armando wasn't wrong, (none)
    he was merely mistaken when he stated that the vote difference when Clermont stopped reporting was 1800, when in actuality it was 900.

    /didn't do a diary on it

    /did, though, make a comment with a subject declaring Armando's wrongness, heh

  •  I wish Kos would adopt (4.00)
    MSOC's comment rating system, and let us rate diaries. 'Cuz this one would rate an eleven.
  •  Willing to invade small country for you, MetaJesus (4.00)
    I am eager to hate and/or kill and/or boycott something on your behalf.  Possibly, Armandoland.

    Only tell me what to hate.  Or, I will turn to an otherwise not gainfully employed member of my community to tell me who to hate and invade, based on their reading of your MetaWill.  

  •  I wrote this diary (none)
    Dems need to move on this - New foreign policy poll

    Am I guilty of violating #2 or #4?

    Entropy is the measure of disorder present in a system.

    by hfiend on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:03:51 PM PDT

  •  I love Meta! (none)
    We all say we hate Meta, but MetaChrist if we don't really love Meta, we are wild about Meta.

    "But your flag decal won't get you into heaven anymore"--Prine

    by Cathy on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:04:22 PM PDT

  •  It always depresses me (none)
    that the most-commented on diaries (like 600+) are almost always "meta" diaries ...

    Kossack navel-gazing is so three weeks ago anyway (or whenever the big "purge" happened) ...

    we are the goon squad and we're coming to town ...

    by arb on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:05:23 PM PDT

  •  MetaJesus. (4.00)
    I have strayed far from thy holy example.  I have concentrated far too much on how things happen and what things happen and why they happen.  Don't ask me to give up when things happen, I have money down.

    It is true I have no life, just the 18 flickering hours a day basking in your electronic glory.  I stopped paying for cable months ago, I get all my news here now.  I no longer go out, but it's a good thing because climbing over all those 'Domino's' boxes was making me tired.

    I have not worried about hair, beard, and toe nail maintenance; my stigmata were leaking on the keyboard so I had to put some band aids on.

    And it is so true MetaJesus, that I just can't understand why this site is not concentrating on the ONE TRULY IMPORTANT ISSUE- that W and the rest of the Government, the Republican Party and most of the Democratic Party (except for Dean of course) have been taken over by ALIEN PARASITES!

    Wait, maybe that was Stargate SG-1.  I get confused when my medications are not juuuust right.

    Back to Armando (because after all, isn't everything about Armando), Joe Campbell would be proud.  MetaJesus you have a worthy foil, almost better than Novack.  It amuses me when people rate him- yeah, right.

    As for your dog, my best advice is to empty a 2 liter bottle of coke and toss it on the floor.  Then you'll only have to worry about getting bitten.

  •  I am sorry to hear that you are (none)
    a " truly sad, lonely person". Best wishes for the future.

    we now know a lot of things, most of which, we already knew... (-dash888)

    by Tirge Caps on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:13:20 PM PDT

  •  I Would Never Have Voted (none)
    For the second option, until yesterday.

    I think they all think that their guy will do a better job, but I think they make dishonest arguments. In their eyes, the ends justify the means. -Jon Stewart

    by Slade on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:13:55 PM PDT

  •  Meta this (none)
    Armando is missing the point, which is distracting us from the real issue of Meta diaries.  Now read me or you suck!

    (sorry I couldn't resist)

    •  well (none)
      (sorry I couldn't resist)

      See above for several compatriots.  Resistance is, apparently, futile in this crew.


      (That's my slightly less gruff variation on Armando's "heh", which I was using before he even knew what the Internet was (possibly).)

      Progressives live for the future. Conservatives dwell in the past.

      by socratic on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:20:45 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Indiana (4.00)
    The Emoticon tour of Indiana? No, seriously -- where can I call to book that?

    I spent a week in Indiana one day...
  •  Oh (none)
    And if you by any chance think it's me you're singling out, it's okay.  Doesn't bother me none.

    I think they all think that their guy will do a better job, but I think they make dishonest arguments. In their eyes, the ends justify the means. -Jon Stewart

    by Slade on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:17:00 PM PDT

  •  MetaJesus cries (none)
    whenever he reads completely predictable one-line comments on Diebold corruption of an election result over and over again in the same diary. Folks, you may have issues with Diebold and its possible manipulation of elections, but after 20 or so fellow kossaks have made the same attempt at pithy snark in the thread above you, chances are the diary doesn't need your echoing comment.
  •  obligatory Simpsons (4.00)
    Reverend Lovejoy: "Everybody is saying Meta this and Meta that.  But nobody's saying WORSHIP this or JERICHO that."
    Jasper: "What's this about Meta?"
  •  Armando just posted to the front to go (none)
    and tell him he's wrong - even if I think he's right.
  •  this is... (4.00)
    ...the funniest thing I've read since the Collected Transcripts of Scott McClellan Press Conferences.

    "When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles." --

    by Newton Snookers on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:19:46 PM PDT

  •  The Daily Armando? (none)
    Just couldn't help myself.

    "A little bit of inefficiency is called culture."

    by dbratl on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:31:31 PM PDT

  •  Armando IS MetaJesus (none)
       ...Crucified as Armando, raised from the dead as Daily Kos' Only MetaSaviour!
  •  Well, I WAS going to comment at length (none)
    but MetaMary Magdelene has just requested that I stop Meta-ing around on the Meta-ing computer and clean out the Meta-ing cat litter because it stinks to MetaHeaven.

    We all have our Meta-crosses to bear.

    Besides, I think we've all beaten this Meta-horse quite enough.

    I bet Jesus would use His turn signals.

    by sxwarren on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:35:13 PM PDT

  •  I think you're all spending way too much time (4.00)
    in front of your computers.  It's a beautiful day outside.  Go get some air.  Maybe fly a kite or go for a run.  Start that hobby you've always thought about starting.  Maybe go to a movie or read a book.  This is starting to sound like when a bunch of Trekkies get together and get into arguments about which version of the Enterprise was faster or whether the Romulans could ever defeat the Klingons.

    Christ, people, there's a whole world out there.

    You're either an American or a Republican. You can't be both.

    by Magnus Greel on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:49:29 PM PDT

  •  my contribution to diary glut is (4.00)
    don't write diaries.

    So I rarely do.

    I feel this is a valuable service.

    "Every act of becoming conscious is an unnatural act." - Adrienne Rich

    by marjo on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 12:53:04 PM PDT

  •  I almost had to call 9-1-1 (none)
    because I was laughing so damn hard.  Oh, I haven't even had much experience reading "Armando is wrong" diaries and I still was almost on the floor.  The only other thing that has been making me laugh that hard of late is AMERICA (the book).  "Dressing is the milk of the infidel" under the Iranian revolution column in the revolutionary history chart is one of my favorites, as well as Stephen Colbert explaining that "Hippie Q. McFreakington" isn't going to go on to the national political scene.

    Seriously, though, I think you did a great job addressing some issues that are fairly important, yet did it in a light-hearted way in order to avoid pissing off people who committed these diary offenses.  I have other thoughts as well, but I now feel inspired to write my own diary entry about them...

    Thank you.

  •  "This is my first diary, be gentle...." (4.00)
    Reveal, metaJesus, what your wholiness thinks of those diarists who assume the position in front of you in this manner. does it arouse the Savior of Semiotics, or is it the behavior of an evil doer?
  •  question (none)
    A while back, I remember that someone linked to an FAQ page that was basically an "all you could want to know about posting diaries".  could someone possibly post that again?  I'm new on dkos, and to the blogosphere in general, and I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out how to do diaries.

    Thanks in advance, and sorry if this isn't exactly germaine (sp?) to the topic of metajesus.

    Q: How many eggs does it take to make a good omelet? A: Three. By the way, Tom DeLay is a hypocrite of the highest order.

    by ElihuBen on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 01:02:27 PM PDT

  •  Most.Overused.Phrases.Ever (none)
    Doesn't Matt Groening have a list every year?  Words, phrases that are overused?  We need one here.


    • Why does [insert name] hate America?
    • WW_[insert initial]_D?
  •  Hunter. Brilliant, scintillating,fabulous. (none)
    I've never laughed so hard on the internets in my life. Explosive laughter. Tears. The doggie metaphor the best and wittiest ever. My Russian neighbor pounding on the door. Gasping. Luckily the eyes squeezed shut in exploding mirth so I coudn't read on and gave time to breath.

    The comments added to the merriment.

    Simply. The. Best. Ever.

    A work of mirthful genius.

    Mr. Twain. Come back. We've got someone we'd like you to meet.

    I am awed.

    Now about that Armando...   .

  •  Armando! You're missing the point! (none)
    We're being distracted with the whole plamegate affair because Iraq is such a mess!

    Why are none of you mentioning this?!1!

    Is it just me that get's it?

    Read my blog!

    that felt good.

  •  "other" (none)
    Should you feel inclined to include a poll with just one option then please do not be suprised when nobody clicks it. Just a personal pet peeve.
  •  The emoticon tour of Indiana... (none)
    ....simple, really.  

    Gather up a few 40-ish and almost-50-ish guys that never left the Math-Science building at Purdue (even when they got their own Computer Science Building, since then they'd have to move their stuff, and who'd ever do that?), feed them pizza and beer, and roll tape.  (Or bring the tour group over to listen and view the sight.  Whichever.)

    Go to Bloomington and repeat the same thing with a smaller group of guys.

    Maybe, for spice, find one or two folks at IUIPUI or Ball State.  Or add a kid going to high school in Gary or Speedway or Union Mills to show newer ideas that are local.

    For the first two groups, be ready to edit or ask for limits in live conversation allusions to references linking Styx to computing in general or emoticons in particular.  (If they're really old fogies, change the musical reference to be wary of to Yes or Rick Wakeman.  If you, by chance, find younger folks that want to play, switch that to Mannheim Steamroller.) ;-)

    "Nothing is as difficult as not deceiving oneself" - Ludwing Wittgenstein

    by Palamedes on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 01:24:12 PM PDT

  •  I always ask myself before (none)
    a big decision WWAD

    The beneficiaries are likely to be...large corporations and development firms. (O'Connor, J. dissenting in Kelo). God bless you, J. O'Connor.

    by xanthe on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 01:27:53 PM PDT

  •  You can't metadeny it! (none)
    I not a metadiner until you let me metadine.  

    My big, green praying mantis daemon keeps whispering "Follow the Yellowcake Forgery"...

    by Tiparillo on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 01:28:37 PM PDT

  •  I'ma start a punk rock band (4.00)
    Teenage MetaJesus and the Armandos
  •  Armando, Armando, Armando (none)
    The dude is wrong so damn often that you kinda have to expect the metablogs about how wrong he is. I say take that one up with him.
  •  m4m seeks Armando tough talk (4.00)
    Honestly, I've always been turned on by Armando's posts.  I think he's hella sexy.  I love him.  I'm serious.

    But I guess that's Metabomination, huh??

  •  I think I Meta pissed my pants (none)
    from laughing. Let me check....

    ... yup

    Now the men in the white coats have a nice jacket with long armms for me to try on and are requesting I cease laughing incessantly and step away from the keyboard slowly so I gotta go.

  •  But... (4.00)
    Hunter avoided asking the real question on everyone's mind.

    Who would MetaJesus Google Bomb?

    Image Hosted by

  •  I once meta man with no feet (none)
    so I put the Reeboks in a freebox.

    Pretty funny, Hunter. Some days I'm glad I had a hectic nite at work & missed the flamewars.


    The concept of war is outdated. Dalai Lama

    by x on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 01:46:10 PM PDT

  •  metadiaries (none)
    I know Hunter is just adding a little self-effacing humor, but the truth of the joke is that people do seem to love to hate metadiaries.  They come from miles around of course, how could they not... you put Armando in the title.

    But seriously... metadiaries are introspection... is that a bad think in progressive circles... know thyself?

    I am certain that the nature of the community tells you what the person is capable of and what they will do in the long run (except insofar as the community will evolve to something different)... if a progressive community gets introspective it will produce it's philosophy.

    Guess what, a progressive philosophy is exactly what we lack as a community, not at dkos, but in general.  Definitely it is lacking in the Democratic Party... but even progressives are not too clear on what their philosophy really is.

    I think after being conditioned to need a Book to tell you your core philosophy is written down already for a couple thousand years, we're a little gun shy about the whole philosophy thing.

    So we think we are anti-philosophical, anti-navel gazing (that's what philosophers do I hear).  In reality, this is a relativist's philosophy.

    Metadiaries are the most important diaries in a progressive community if you want power 100 years from now.

    Yes, that's a loaded conclusion there in the last paragraph.  "But what about 2006?" you are supposed to wonder.

    •  What bout (none)
      the people who love to hate the people who love to hate meta-diaries?  

      Or "The people who love to hate meta-diaries and the people who love them?, a.k.a., I heart Armando"

      There's a self-help book out there just waiting to be written.  But that never will because y'all are too busy writing your meta meta diaries...

      "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." -Voltaire

      by poemless on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 02:25:05 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  don't forget (none)
        those that love to hate those that recognize those that love to hate those that love to hate metadiaries.

        hmmm, not sure what to think, but I'm sure it deserves a diary... at the very least!

  •  Absolutely, positively (none)
    the funniest diary I've read here yet. Granted, I'm a comparitive newbie, but still. Wow. ROFLMAO. Bravo, Hunter, bravo!

    The most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen & Stupidity - Harlan Ellison

    by Cantankerous Bitch on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 02:16:38 PM PDT

  •  Hunter, you missed your point... (none)
    ...and so did Armando. Although I'm not sure about Armando. He writes like he thinks he knows but I don't understand what he writes but he act's like he does.

    Don't make me post a I'm leaving DKos because you people are just plain mean for not worshiping me diary.

    We need a rate all/rate 4 so I don't have to go through and pick everyone out because there is simply too much hilarity in this diary to rate singly. Fours for all!

    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it. -Tom Paine

    by Alumbrados on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 02:27:31 PM PDT

  •  7. X is just a Karl Rove plot (none)
    see, it's all about rove.

    don't fall asleep lest he torment your dreams.

    "The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity" -Yeats

    by jethropalerobber on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 02:30:15 PM PDT

  •  The dKossian Creed (4.00)
    I know I'm going to hell for this, please save me MetaJesus!

    We believe in one Kos
    The Blogfather Almighty
    Maker of the liberal Blogosphere and Scoop,
    of all comments seen and unseen.

    We believe in one Lord, MetaJesus
    the only Son of the Metadiary,
    eternally begotten of the Blog,
    dkos from dkos, four from four, liberal blog from liberal blog,
    begotten, not already diaried, one in being with the Diary Police.
    Through him, all comments were rated.
    For us kossians and for our internet addiction,
    he came down from cyberspace:
    by the power of the Holy Armando
    he was born of the frontpager Hunter, and became meta.

    For our sake, he was crucified under Plutonium Page,
    he was zero-rated, GBCW'd, and banned.
    Under the third username he posted again,
    in fulfillment of the FAQ;
    he ascended to the Front Page and is seated on the right side of the screen.
    He will come again in glory to rate the TU and the troll, and his mojo will never end.

    We believe in the Holy Armando, the overlord, the giver of Heh,
    who proceeds from dKos and snark.
    With BiPM and DavidNYC he is worshipped and glorified.
    He has spoken through the front page.

    We believe in one liberal progressive and political Blog.
    We acknowledge two diaries a day for the espousal of views.
    We look for the resurrection of the Republic, and the life of the world without Bushco.


    Disclaimer:  I am Catholic myself, so I hope I didn't offend anyone

  •  Be yourself. Unless you're you. (none)
    If you're someone else it's okay to be yourself. If you're you, then go for the emoticon thing.

    #7. Diaries about other people's diaries (like this one) are about as useful as the one's about Armando's ignorance, and really do draw attention away from other diaries.......

    This diary has many more posts than most of the other front pagers.........  (Except Hunter's open thread - maybe he's got an in with MetaJesus.)

    1984: Orwell wrote a cautionary tale. George Bush mistook it for a manifesto.

    by mungley on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 04:03:08 PM PDT

  •  Godly Writer Hunter is right and makes ME cry (none)
     People who comment on them are typically even worse

    See, he is right. I am truly sad and lonely and worse than all of you. And now I cry.

    YOU ARE SOOOO MEAN. If I just had written a META diary about Hunter being THE BEST WRITER EVER to have made me cry.

    "God, what's the war on terror exactly?" - God: "An Intelligence Deficit Disorder."

    by mimi on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 04:03:23 PM PDT

  •  You've made me (none)
    think of a great diary title.

    "Why is Hunter trying to distract us from the issue that Armando is wrong?  Am I the only one who recognizes this?  Front page immediately!"

    Keep an open mind, but don't let your brains fall out.

    by Unstable Isotope on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 04:07:41 PM PDT

  •  Dear Hunter, (none)
    this was hysterical. Thank you.

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, who am I? And if not now, when?" (Hillel was a liberal)

    by 4jkb4ia on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 04:38:24 PM PDT

  •  Can I (none)
    get this diary on a CD?  No kidding, Hunter's words and many of the posts should be saved for posterity.


  •  The most important rule (none)
    of writing diaries is:
    The possessive form of the word it is its.  There is no fucking apostrophe.
    I hope I didn't come across to strongly their.

    Nero fiddled. Bush bicycles.

    by jazzmaniac on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 05:32:11 PM PDT

  •  Here's... (none)
    ..a worthwhile violation of rule #1:

    Be the creature. (But not a Republican.) blogomni

    by boran2 on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 06:23:00 PM PDT

  •  how does metajesus feel about (none)
    comments that declare any diary guilty of knocking better diaires off the front page, for whatever reason?

    metaskippy hates it!

    but we never metajesus we didn't like.

    i can't think of a funny signature line right now.

    by skippy on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 06:37:12 PM PDT

  •  Thank you (none)
    I had chemo today and came home to find this diary and laughed like a maniac for over an hour.  Did me more good than I can possibly communicate.  What would I do without DK?
  •  Best G-D MetaDiary, Ever! n/t (none)
    I lied, there IS text in the comment!

    I am SAVED!  THANK YOU, MetaJesus!

    May the Armando never notice that I exist as a Kossak.  I am a good Armando-fearing citizen of dKos.

    I feel degaussed already.  Noone ever, will ever be able to ever read anything I've ever written online again!  Thank Armando.

    Thank you, my personal MetaJesus.  I hope you feel better soon.

    "...And bunnies would dance in the streets, and we would find life on Mars." -Peter Singer, Brookings Institution

    by zentiger on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 10:07:30 PM PDT

  •  If using Armando's name in a title... (none)
    Makes effing MetaJesus cry, then get him a fucking bucket while we continue to call a spade a spade and an Armando an Armando.

    "There is no god, and I am his prophet." SocraticGadfly

    by steverino on Wed Aug 03, 2005 at 11:53:39 PM PDT

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