CRAWFORD, Texas (BD) - In an 11th hour attempt to pick up corporate sponsorship for "Peloton One" President Bush postponed his nap and threw a tantrum until Uncle Dicky made some calls.
Bush desperately wanted to impress Lance Armstrong on Saturday's ride. "I need to show him who Biker Numero One is."
Cheney tapped the top 25 Republican party donors with consumer brands. "The response was so good, we're thinking of adding some addtional logos on Airforce One...they'd be smaller than the Halliburton logo naturally," Mr. Cheney remarked.
"It was tighter than a Texas tick on a bull's scrotum on the Fourth of July," George remarked, "but we got 'er done before it was time for my milk and cookies."
(Exclusive photo on the flip)
George W. Bush on Bike One wearing Jersey One
"We're gonna go mano-e-busho, and since he cheats by riding faster 'n me, I gots me a little surprise for em," said President Bush with a wink.
Will Bush's corporate sponsors help him out? Will Karl Rove interupt his busy vacation to insure Lance's brakes are adjusted properly? Did Rumsfeld see Breaking Away and is planning have an air pump on hand? Does Condi wear spiked Sidi Dominators when she rides __ (you fill in the blank)? Will George be able to keep the rubber side down and the shiny side up, or even know the difference?
Stay tuned!