When the Bush Administration eased the tax burden on the obscenely wealthy and their children, it created unprecedented budget deficits. With the flagging economy and the costs of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, it is clear that the government will need to raise more money. So, here are a few ideas for new taxes. Vote for your favorite, after the jump.
CEO Tax. Any corporation that compensates their CEO/President over 100 times more than their lowest paid employee must pay the difference between the two compensation packages. For example, David J Lesar, CEO of Halliburton, was paid $16.9 million in 2004 compared to the guys in the mailroom, who are paid about $15,000. Halliburton's CEO tax would be $16,900,000 - (100 * $15,000) = $15,400,000.
Celebrity Trial Tax. Any media outlet that produces stories involving legal difficulties experienced by persons involved in the entertainment or sports industries must pay a tax equal to 10% of the celebrity's earnings the previous year. This tax would be applied to each story and doubled for movies based on the trial. Although there may not be an OJ-trial every year, just one could fill the government's coffers for a long time. An analogous tax credit will be allowed for stories involving legal difficulties experienced by politicians.
Cell-Ring Tax. - A $10 per ring tax will be applied to any individual who allows his or her cell phone to ring in an enclosed public area, such as a train, bus, theatre, restaurant, library, or store. A flat $100 Nerd-Ring surcharge will be applied if the ring tone is from any Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings movie.
Shame Tax. - Individuals who imbibe enough alcohol to be rendered unconscious will be charged a tax equal to the cost of the alcohol consumed. A flat $100 Vomitus surcharge will be applied if any body fluids are lost during unconsciousness.
Honesty Tax. Single males 21-years old or older must pay a $100 per inch tax on the sum of the length and girth of their fully erect penis. Reporting to the IRS would be solely at the discretion of the individual; no measurements will be taken. However, males will be required to disclose the amount of honesty tax they have paid when meeting prospective sex partners. Experts predict that the tax will establish the question How much honesty tax do you pay? as the standard response to pick-up lines.
12-Items Tax. Anybody who goes through the "12-items or less" line at the grocery store with too many items will be charged a tax equal to the cost of their groceries. This won't raise much money but it will be very satisfying to the people in line behind them.
Porn tax. This tax would require all uploaders and downloaders of pictures containing nudity to pay $0.01 per picture. Experts at the Bigguns Institute of Tax Policy estimate that the tax would raise over $1 billion per year from the Bible-Belt alone.
So which is your favorite tax? Vote below.