(An appeal from Barbara Bush)
Dear Fellow Republicans:
If you have heard Mr. O'Reilly, Buchanan, or any other compassionate conservatives lately, you are already aware that the REAL culprit in the Hurricane Katrina affair was NOT some liberal media poo-poo, such as:
- Cutting $100 million or-so from levee maintenance and hurricane preparedness.
- Hollowing out FEMA, and hiring that nice horse lawyer to run it.
- So unwisely scheduling hurricane season smack in the middle of the President's summer camp.
No, the REAL culprit is NOT BEING RICH! But it sounds bad when I put it that way. Mr. Luntz explains it better:
Becoming so dependent on a welfare state that you get too lazy to provide your own personal dikes and levees and flood control and then you drown.
Yes, the liberal media may claim that the welfare state pretty much disappeared with the hippies; and that many of New Orleans' poor worked one or more minimum wage jobs. But they cannot deny the bottom line, which is: If you are poor, you must be guilty of something, and you will be punished.
So what to do, what to do? Well, I'm delighted to inform you that finally, something is being done, and by focusing on the poorest and most helpless (and so, the guiltiest) of all; the elderly.
You and I both probably saw the pictures of old people dead in their wheelchairs. My question: Why were they not out manning the dikes? (On the dikes or in them, I would tell them.) And you may have heard rumors of whole groups found drowned in their beds. Personally, I find that disgusting. How can anyone be so lazy that they would rather drown that get off their lazy wellfare collecting asses? Is there nothing liberals will stop at?
And I am sure the liberal media will twist all this to try to make the elderly drowned people look like "victims", and to make the President look bad. Well, spin away, because fortunately, our President has NOT been fooled. For example, he proclaimed "zero tolerance" for looting. And "zero" means "zero", so if Grandma wanted one last sip of water before she died, she can forget about taking it out of some corporation's hide. That's not what they gave their big GOP contributions for!
I can't help but think that, ultimately, Katrina has been a wake up call from God. It has brought our attention to all the millions of old people in rest homes across this country, sucking on the public teat of Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid. I think God himself would say, "THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!"
And private pensions? They are even worse, since they steal cash right out of the pockets of CEOs such as Dick Cheney and Condi Rice. Each time an old person cashes a pension check, it's like they are sneaking into one of Condi's apartments or mansions or whatever, and stealing a little piece of one of her Ferragamos.
What we need is the Old People's Protection Bill. David Hasstert has already produced an early draft, and it has been given high marks by Trent Lott and Tom Delay. And when Dick Cheney read it...well...I have not seen Mr. Cheney so tickled since the time Senator Frist and George Jr. tried to dry some kittens in the microwave! (If I had thought to tape it...hello American's Funniest Home Videos!)
Basically, the bill would abolish Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid; and cancel all pensions; and make it illegal for old people to even ask about bankruptcy. This will help old people by encouraging them to take responsibility for themselves, to quit their bitching, and to just go out and get minimum wage jobs. I have done some checking, and although I have never actually been to a Walmart myself, I hear they have lots of "greeter" jobs which require nothing more than being propped up and waving.
I hope you will join me by forwarding a copy of this letter to your Congressman and Senator, encouraging them to support the Old Person Protection Bill.
Thanking you in advance, Yours in God
Barbara Bush
Honorary Chairperson, Campaign to Support the Old Person Protection Bill.