No, it's not from The Onion. Jeb Bush installed the new Florida House Speaker last week by
giving him a golden sword from his mystical Chinese warrior friend Chang.
Think Progress also has an article with a photo of the fucking sword.
And of course there are some choice quotes from Jeb:
"Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.
"I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down."
I guess it's no surprise that Jeb learned about Chang from Poppy, and then morphed him into some sort of conservative tax-cutting hero. But it's funny how Chang didn't storm Terry Schiavo's hospice and dispense his righteous justice.
And honestly, this shows a real disconnect between the Bushies and modern culture. Christ, everyone knows that distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical ceremony.