Update: I just wanted to let everyone know that the campaign director mentioned below just stopped by to apologize profusely for his behavior yesterday.
Maybe he got wind of this diary and read some of the *better* suggestions... :)
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I live in a purple neighborhood of a blue city in a VERY red state and my neighbors are a mix of relatively silent moderates and progressives along with a good chunk of VERY VOCAL christo-fascist-nazi-bastards. I'm going to leave out any identifying particulars in this missive because I just don't trust my rabidly red neighbors to get it right.
I've had a handful of heated run-ins with one in particular (usually as a result of some action by one of my teenage boys) and the "red" side of those stories tend to spread like wild-fire through their circles until they get back to me very warped and distored. I'll admit that I usually don't handle these situations in the best possible way; I usually come off as one of those wacko liberals that they've convinced themselves don't deserve to breath their air.
Today.... we took it up a notch...
About two hours ago I had a visit from the campaign director for one of the republican candidates for the state legislature. The campaign is being run out of the director's home at the end of the street and about half the houses on the block have the candidate's campaign sign in their front yard.
His visit was to inform me that he thought he'd witnessed two boys leaving my house (or was it returning (his story seemed to have changed as the events unfolded)) and that it appeared that they were knocking down a good number of the signs. I told him that we'd had a house full of boys for the weekend but that I would definitely look into it. He seemed greatful that I would and then said (in a typically republican half smile / half sneer), "..and what was your name again?"
Now, I know I'm paranoid and I didn't handle this properly but, I just don't trust these people. So, I simply smiled and closed the door. I could hear him make some pompous remark through the door, but I couldn't make it out.
Since my sons and their friends weren't home at the time, I immediately called their cell and told them to come home now. They're not yet of driving age so they were walking back... and it took a little longer that I had anticipated, so I called back to see where they were. Finding out they were at the top of the street, I went out front to wait for them.
It was at this point that I overheard the campaign director and the "fat nazi up the street" talking in voices loud enough that they could only have wanted me to hear what they were saying (especially since the second half of the sentance was much louder than the first (once they saw I was within earshot)). I hear, "...well, with a father like that, its no wonder those kids are that way".
My instinctive response is to say, "Pardon me?"
Thus triggered the vitriol. The two of them proceeded to berate me to no end... repeating the warped versions of the stories they'd heard about me and generally raising the level of tension in the air. By this time the four boys have made their way to us and I ask the campaign director if these are the boys he saw. He was unable to say. Unfortunately, the two repuglicans where standing between myself and the boys and they turned their venom on the kids and began their inquisition.
Allthewhile, I am demanding that he identify the boys and telling my kids to keep their mouths shut. To this, the fat nazi snorts, "and what do you have to hide?"
After repeated failure to identify any of the kids and continued drilling of my younger son (he had the most frightened look on his face) the boy admitted that he had hit ONE of the signs while he and a friend were rough housing. As you can imagine... the fascists smelled blood and went for the jugular... attacking me and my character to the point where I was now a terrible bigot (this coming from a man heading the campaign for a candiate who is running primarily on an anti-gay platform).
Barking continued from both the left and the right until everyone was either red or blue in the face (depending on the political leanings) and my blood pressure has been greatly elevated ever since. And, to top it all off, I ended up really pissing off the wife over the whole thing (she hates it when I get all wrapped up in anything political).
I've repeated told my boys (and will continue to do so) that they should simply leave the bastards alone. Those people are sick and twisted and will stop at nothing to convince themselves of their own superiority... and will distort these things to destroy good people like us.
That said... (and even if my kids are perfect angels until the heat death of the universe) I don't think its enough.
How can I better handle situations like this in particular and my overwhelming contempt for my red neighbors in general?
Any and all suggestions are welcome.