McClellan in Press Corp Meltdown
Tue Nov 01, 2005 at 09:07:32 AM PDT
Q: "There are reports on the internets that your boss is a total fraud, and has never been elected."
MR. McCLELLAN: "Rumors? What rumors? You can't expect me to respond to rumors."
Q: "Don't bother with any of your dimwitted fatuous evasions. We're talking about Bu$h being a fraud"
MR. McCLELLAN:"Internets fraud? I can't comment about ongoing investigations"
Q "Look Scotty, we've got columns to fill and every day we come here and you talk shit to us, and we're supposed to report news, we're not fiction writers."
MR. McCLELLAN: "Can't we talk about Libby? I've got my 'Libby who?' talking points all lined up"
Q "We're serious 6 figure journos with degrees and editors to suck up to"
MR. McCLELLAN: "President Bu$h has addressed that question 14 thousand and 7 times in the last 2.3 parsecs"
Q: "Scotty, do you have an answer we can print?"
MR. McCLELLAN: "That's a matter of record, I'll read you the transcript before 2008 or over lunch which ever's sooner"
Q: "Scotty do you remember telling us yesterday that President Bu$h is invading Syria in his Pappy's golf buggy at 11 am today armed with a monkey wrench and a plastic squirting bubble duck?"
MR. McCLELLAN: "I don't think I said that, I've just this minute held a four day conference with the president's advisor Karl Rove ...
Q: "You didn't leave the podium Scotty" *exasperation
MR. McCLELLAN:: "The President has never said he has never plays golf or owns a buggy"
Q:"Scotty there's a story emerging that the President is not and never has been the President and is having an affair with a painting of Elanor Roosevelt"
MR. McCLELLAN:; "I wouldn't say that was an accurate portrait of the facts"
Q:"C'mon Scotty, Dick Cheney is President, there's a war on and the son of a Bu$h 41 took a year off from his first term to clear brush once for a photo op because everything is hard work"
MR. McCLELLAN: "I'll have to check on that and get back to you"
Q: "Scotty it was played non strop to project the fallacy that he was a regular guy .. who cleared brush"
MR. McCLELLAN: "I don't think that happened, don't you mean but, but, but, Clinton did it too?
Q:"Scotty, President Clinton hasn't been in office for 5 years and he was quite capable of speaking for himself ... Don't you think it's odd the son of a Bu$h 41 went on a 3 month tour of the country on behalf of his Wall Street buddies and stealing Social Security from the most neediest of our nation in a time of war?"
MR. McCLELLAN: "Are you implying that I'm a teapot short and stout?"
Q: "Scotty, isn't it obvious that the son of a Bu$h 41 was told to go and play outside for a while the adults were f*cking up the country"
MR. McCLELLAN: "I don't think I said that"
Q: "Scotty!!!!! When you look in the mirror in the morning what are you thinking?
MR. McCLELLAN: "I'm not, I'm straightening my tie"
Q: "Doesn't it bother you as you straighten your tie that you're paid to do nothing more than to come here and lie to us and the American people every day?"
MR. McCLELLAN: "errr"
Q: "We're outta here, don't bother coming in tomorrow... We wont!"
MR. McCLELLAN: "But what about the news?"
Q: "Don't worry, we'll be fine, we know where to find the google search bar. We're rejoining the reality based communities "
MR. McCLELLAN: "What about the trust we've built up?"
Q: "You've never had ours, you've lost the public trust, you're a LIAR!"
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