Anyone who still believes in the trite cliche of the polite, mild-mannered Canadian got a rude shock yesterday when 30 year old Canadian mathematician Adam Logan crushed all those who opposed him at the
Eighth World Scrabble Championships. Using such insidious and unsportsmanlike words as "qanat" and "euripi", Logan brought yet another area of human endeavor under the shadow of Canadian domination.
How long, America? How long will we stand idly by and watch as our ideals, our freedoms, and our precious bodily fluids are corrupted by these nefarious bilingualists who leer at us from across our undefended northern border?
America, wake up! We ignore the threat from the north at our peril! We dare not wait for the Triple Word Score to be a mushroom cloud!
Invade Canada! While we still can!