A suspected terrorist is dragged into a secret CIA torture room. As they're stripping him and tying him to a chair, he notices four phones on the wall: 3 black ones and 1 red one.
"What are all those phones for?" the prisoner asks.
Before the agents can answer, the first black phone rings. "Hello, Mr. President," one of the agents answers. "No, Mr. President, we don't have any secret prisons. No, Mr. President, we would never torture anyone."
He hangs up. "That's our direct-to-the-President line," the agent says.
The second phone rings. "Hello, Prime Minister," the agent answers. "No, Prime Minister, we don't have any secret prisons. No, Prime Minister, we would never torture anyone."
He hangs up. "That's our direct-to-the-British-Prime- Minister line," the agent says.
The third black phone rings. The agent has the same conversation again, only this time with Kofi Annan, Secretary-General of the U.N. "That's our direct-to-the-Secretary-General line," the agent tells the prisoner.
Finally, the agents clip some electrical wires to the prisoner's genitals and connect the wires to the red phone. Almost as soon as the wires are connected, the red phone starts ringing. The prisoner gets one painful jolt after another to his penis until the phone finally stops ringing.
"Who--who's phone is that?" the prisoner gasps.
"That one? Cheney's, of course," the agent says. "It's our direct-to-Dick line."
(from BrainBus.com)