Mel Gibson expected special treatment when arrested for a DUI the other night. I say we give it to him. A star of his magnitude should have to serve the type of community service worthy of his own self importance. Therefore, I reccommend that Mel Gibson be asked to serve as Middle East Envoy. Now you might laugh at the idea that Mel Gibson could bring peace to the middle east, but is it any funnier than thinking Condoleezza Rice could do it.
Mel has some really good credentials for the job. He's kind of an American. Or is he kind of an Aussie? He was born in Brooklyn, which probably wasn't a great place to grow up in the 50's if your family doesn't believe in the Holocaust. They then moved to Poughkeepsie, New York, but darn it if there weren't jews there too. So the family moved to Austrailia. Now I know what you're thinking...there are jews in Austrailia. True, but what part of clueless didn't you get when I said his family were Holocaust deniers.
So what does this mean. Nothing, but he is a really big star. He is also an honest-to-goodness, dyed-in-the-wool, jew hater. Or as the middle eastern muslims call that, an honest broker. Now that's not as funny as it sounds. After all, Mel might be a drunk, Mel might be a bigot, but Mel is not stupid. He knows who butters his bread. So, I say, give Mel a chance. A monumental screw up deserves monumental penitence. If he succeeds here, let's get him drunk and ask him what he thinks about Asians, Koreans in particular.