AP, Louisville, KY December 2, 2005
The war on Jimmy Percy's Christmas presents took a tragic turn yesterday, as an entire battalion of toy soldiers was lost after the Percy family dog, Rocky, mounted a brutal surprise attack just before sunrise. According to eyewitness Jimmy Percy, age 8, the plastic warriors never knew what hit them. Others described the carnage as "a terrible mess."
-- more shocking details below the fold
The battle lasted a reported fifteen to twenty minutes, although the miniature infantry was said to have put up little or no resistance. "Bazooka guy was the first to go," muttered a dejected Jimmy, "after that I guess they just lost their will to fight."
The toy soldiers marked the twelfth of Jimmy's Christmas presents destroyed by Rocky, a bull terrier, this year. The little green heroes are survived by their owner Jimmy, who now wonders what the point of getting Christmas presents is if the "stupid dog" is just going to eat them. "Just get me dog food this year, Mom," screamed Jimmy, "the stupid dog is just going to eat it anyway."
Jimmy, a staunch anti-dog activist blames the attacks on his parents, especially his mom, for being "an appeaser." Asked for comment, Grace Percy, Jimmy's mom, explained that getting a terrier might not have been the best idea. "We understand his anger at Rocky," said Ms. Percy, "but he shouldn't blame all dogs. He has to understand that not all dogs are terriers."
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