Friday, August 18, 2006. This is Walter Cronkite sitting in for... Who am I sitting in for? Oh. Sitting in for the rest of the news staff who have all decided to take an extended vacation south of the equator.
The President has called this unprecedented press conference to make an announcement on this glorious and very hot Friday here in Washington DC. Speculation has it that, due to health reason, the president will be resigning his office, but I can't really believe that.
Ah, here he is, approaching the podium.
"Ladies and gentlemen, quiet please? I'm sorry to announce that, due to a sudden resurgence in my alcoholism, I feel that I must resign the Presidency immediately. It's just not fun anymore. Thanks! Bye!"
Cronkite sputters and chokes...
Ladies and gentlemen, that little weasel has just quit the Presidency!