Humor for the Holidays

I've been thinking about this for a week.  While I am active in politics, I'm also a comedian who hosted a show on campus similar to The Daily Show.  So I got to thinking, what phrases would shock the hell out of Bill O'Reilly if he said them on television.

They are below the flip and cross-posted at my own (shameless plug) blog.

Also, if you are looking for SNL's Lazy Sunday sketch, I have that transcript here.

I am back in comedy after considering a potential run for higher office.  I don't lie about my political ambitions.  I could always run after a career in comedy like Al Franken is doing.  This is my first attempt at doing a top ten but I thought it was funny.

10. "Good evening, welcome to The Daily Show, I'm filling in for Jon Stewart."
    
9. "This just in. Vice President Dick Cheney has been sworn in as president following the president's impeachment. This story is developing but tune in to the liberal media for that."
   
8. "Joining us today on this cold 2007 morning is former President George Walker Bush."
   
7. "This just in. Hilary Clinton was elected president today."
   
6. "Joining us today is current Senator Al Franken of Minnesota."
   
5. "The Democrats have retaken the Senate and the House."
   
4. "I'm a candidate for president."
   
3. "My book was banned in the Arab countries."
   
2. "My book was banned in the blue states."
   
1. "Happy Holidays."

•  Tip Jar n/t

  by dsolzman on Fri Dec 23, 2005 at 08:21:51 AM PDT