Daily Kos

eHarmony and Focus on the Family

by mskate

Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 11:59:19 AM PDT

Like many busy singles, I find it difficult to find time to date.  The obvious meeting places don't work for me as I'm not crazy about the bar scene and in my church, single, straight men are few and far between.  So I turned to two different dating sites online, hoping to find the success that many of my friends have found.  Although one of them has turned out to be a good experience, the other (eHarmony) apparently has some affiliates that you might want to know about.
Forgive me if I'm stating what everyone else already knew, but apparently the founder of eHarmony is very proud of his affiliation with a certain Dr. Dobson, lately of "I hate SpongeBob" fame.  Dr. Clark (founder of eHarmony) has books published through Focus on the Family's publishing house.  I discovered this when I received my free "here's how to get you a man and keep 'im" package that came with a year's subscription.
I'm purposely publishing this on a weekend because 1) I've never published a diary before and 2)I have the horrible feeling most of you already knew this and therefore wouldn't touch this company with the proverbial ten foot pole.  However, there was nothing in the diary archives about eHarmony or any mention in the Focus on the Family posts, so I thought I'd give a shout out anyway.

Here is my email to the company:

I received the free books that came with my year's subscription to eHarmony.
Thank you for sending them so quickly.  I am closing my account because your
company is affiliated with Focus on the Family, which I consider to be a hate
group.  I cannot be in integrity with my beliefs and support that group or any
of its affiliates financially.
Because I signed up less than two weeks ago, I would hope that (in all fairness)
I will not be charged more than one month's full price subscription cost.  I
know that one month is the minimum subscription and I believe that it is fair
that I pay that price in full.  That would mean you should refund me
approximately $40.  In any case, I will be returning the books as I will not
have them in my home and do not feel comfortable donating them anywhere, as I do
not wish them to circulate.  I will also be contacting my bank to stop payment
on the other two $80.00 (or so) payments.  I hope to hear from you regarding
whether you agree that I am owed a refund.  

I must say I am deeply disappointed that your organization would affiliate with
Focus on the Family and Dr. Dobson.  My understanding was that this company is
about bringing people together, not depriving certain people of their basic
right to exist.  I was shocked and horrified to have contributed to such a
mindset via my subscription and almost got up and went back out last night when
I realized what I had done.  However, I decided to sleep on it and still feel
that I cannot, in integrity, be part of your organization in any way.
Please know that I will be telling everyone I know (and posting on my favorite
blogs, Beliefnet and Dailykos) about my experience with your company and what I
have learned.
Sincerely,
(real name)

FWIW, I do see the error in the sentence in the last paragraph (left out some words about "out to go find a computer and dump this subscription") but I hit the send button to them before I realized I needed to edit.  To my credit, I did a lot of mental editing overnight.  This is much more articulate that what I was mentally writing last night.

Please feel free to offer constructive criticism re: the diary as a whole, as this is my first effort and I have lots to learn.

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Permalink | 216 comments

  •  Thanks (none / 1)

    Thanks for the diary. I've seen those damn eHarmony ads on TV many times, and I always wondered, "Why the hell is their spokesperson a 60-year-old man?"

    In any event, congrats on your first diary. Also, if you are looking for a dating site, I'd suggest OKCupid.com - it's 100% free, unlike all the others. (And it happens to be run by some friends of mine.)

    Swing State Project: Campaign & Election News

    by DavidNYC on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 11:56:30 AM PDT

  •  Scary (4.00 / 4)

    The unseen fingers of the funcy octopus are reaching very very deep into all of our lives now.

    MA-02

    by Dancing Larry on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 11:58:15 AM PDT

  •  I met my Jim online (none / 0)

    and am extremely happy beeing with him.  I don't think eHarmony existed back then.  But my cousin, Lisa, does use the website so I will let her know about this.  She can swtich to Match.com.

    He that chooses his own path needs no map. Queen Kristina of Sweden.

    by Boppy on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 11:59:22 AM PDT

  •  Thanks for this (4.00 / 5)

    I myself was considering joining eHarmony, so I'm glad you wrote about it.  Dr. Clark, in his TV ads, does have the glazed grin of a televangelist...

    Let all the dreamers wake the nation.

    by Nancy in LA on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 11:59:51 AM PDT

  •  Thanks (none / 0)

    Didn't know this about eHarmony.
    Glad you called them on this.

    by jiffykeen on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:04:14 PM PDT

  •  Allow me to recommend... (none / 0)

    matchmaker.com. Thru that service I found my soulmate and we've been married for almost five years now. I haven't checked either service recently but matchmaker was much better than match.com.

    by sjct on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:11:02 PM PDT

    •  matchmaker.com (none / 1)

      I tried them a few years back and had a couple of really bad(I mean scary)experiences. One guy was phone stalking me and because I told him I was dating someone exclusively he went ballistic on me, said things like its women like you that make men wan to be violent. VERY scarey shit.

      That turned me off to the net dating scene. Any other suggestions?
      SWF, a very young 52, tall blonde with lots of spunk! Repugs need not apply. Lol

      Frodo failed....Bush has got the ring!

      by Alohaleezy on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 06:27:34 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  LOL (4.00 / 15)

    I'm sorry but this is so funny. I took their test (never too old to try, right?) and FAILED it. I'm one of 20% of the people who take the test that they can't help. Wonder what tipped them off? The drool or maniac stare?

    utahgirl

    "I aim to misbehave." - Malcolm Reynolds

    by nio on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:13:51 PM PDT

    •  addendum (none / 0)

      It would be kind of interesting if you put a poll up about whether people had used something like this with success in meeting a soulmate.

      A Twenty Percenter
      utahgirl

      "I aim to misbehave." - Malcolm Reynolds

      by nio on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:17:24 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  One here. (none / 0)

        My scuba club president met his wife through eHarmony.  They're both happy and well-adjusted enough.

        -7.75 -4.67

        "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

        by Odysseus on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 05:52:37 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  Another here (none / 0)

        My widowed 60 year old sister-in-law (it's my brother who died) met her soon-to-be second husband with eharmony. She was raving about how good the company is to me last autumn. I took maybe the first third of their test and decided I didn't have that much time and certainly didn't have that much money to waste. Probably a good decision since I would undoubtedly "fail". Sheesh! Talk about ways to totally trash people's feelings of self-worth!

        Anyway, my nephew (her son) assures me that she's progressive politically.

        I haven't looked at any services in awhile, but I seem to recall that most of them offered matches in all directions (male-male, female-female, male-female). Perhaps that would be a fairly obvious first thing to note to get a clue as to background.

        by NotInMyName on Sun Feb 06, 2005 at 11:14:34 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  failed the test? (4.00 / 9)

      Is it perhaps that there's independant thinking going on?  Hmmmm?!?!?!?!!  I'm kinda glad now that I got so few matches (not so much as a phone call from any).  It's reassuring to me that I never had any success with them.  Given that they are homophobic-by-association, maybe it's to your credit that you don't fit in with them.

      "I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing Light of your own Being." --Hafiz

      by mskate on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:21:17 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Hmmm... (4.00 / 5)

      You sound like my kind of girl. Look me up if you're ever in NYC.


      "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right." - Salvor Hardin

      by Zackpunk on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:32:20 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Hey, I failed it too! (4.00 / 11)

      So they didn't get my credit card either.  Now I know why.  Utahgirl and I are on some kind of list somewhere labeled "Watch the following:".  So are you, MsKate, what with that letter and all.  Welcome to the club.  You did us proud.  See you at the prison camp.  We'll be in the "Old maids damned to hell" barracks, right across from those Spongebob Squarepants lovers.

      We do not rent rooms to Republicans.

      by Mary Julia on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 01:07:02 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Another eHarmony failure here! (4.00 / 8)

      That is SO funny.  One sad, lonely Friday night I gave in to their pitch and decided to take their long-ass personality test.  (Which was actually kinda interesting.)  

      I have to say the personality test creeped me out a little.  It reminded me of a number of my friends in college who each were lured into a brownstone in Boston after last call (and many drinks) to take personality tests.  They were all told that they were desperately unhappy and lonely!  They each later found out - after being "tested" 'till the early hours of the morning - that the people in the brownstone were from the Church of Scientology.  

      Anyway, I took the damned test - which took, I dunno, 90 minutes? - and then waited as eHarmony searched for a match for me.  And then I was stunned to find that there was no one, NO ONE, in their database that they could match me with.  I laughed it off, but it's a great comfort to know that I'm in such good company with other eHarmony rejects!

      And I'm comforted to know, now, that I missed being matched up by some fundie.  I'd rather be alone than have some professional hater be my matchmaker.

      I proudly work for Jim Himes for Congress in CT-04.

      by Maura in VA on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 02:48:27 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I was skeeved out by eHarmony too... (none / 0)

        And the ads make me sick.  Was a member for three months about 18 months ago and went out with 2 guys I could have NOT had less in common with.  I had heard vague rumblings about Dr. Warren being a fundie but it's nice to have a proven link.

        I've never had any luck on match.com but had a good run on Nerve (I'm magic66) until I turned 36, and it was like I dropped off everyone's radar.  I still love the Nerve vibe though - urban, sexy and snarky.  And not a lot of Bush lovers!

        by magic1 on Sun Feb 06, 2005 at 12:04:33 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  heh (4.00 / 3)

      Took their test out of, um, curiousity and failed as well.  Thought it was the twins under two years old, but it looks like I can't blame them.  It was me.

      NetrootNews coming soon!

      by ksh01 on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 03:59:19 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  they fail atheists (4.00 / 3)

      I heard that if answer their questions about religion the "wrong way" they automatically fail you as being incompatible with anyone.

      by madison on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 04:47:24 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Well, isn't that special (4.00 / 2)

        I failed their test, too. I took it rather personally (what other way was there to take it?!), like I should just get LOSER tattooed on my forehead or something.

        And it turns out it was just probably my lack of rolling on the floor babbling in tongues and handling snakes that did it.

        Gee, I appear to be in pretty good company.

        by cenobite on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 05:51:50 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  Liberal atheist in Bible Belt... (none / 0)

        Here I am in Dallas... Yahoo's matches send me all sorts of religious people even though I have "religious belief/lack thereof" indicated as one of my top priorities.

        "There is no god, and I am his prophet." SocraticGadfly

        by steverino on Sun Feb 06, 2005 at 12:14:00 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  The same thing happened to me (4.00 / 2)

      I was told that they couldn't match me either.  They should have set up a pity date for me with one of the other unmatchables.

      by dtj on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 05:01:14 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  AHA! (4.00 / 2)

      That explains EVERYTHING!

      Let me share:

      My husband and I got bored to tears sometimes early last year and decided to take the free test and see what kind of people we got matched with.

      Neither of us matched anyone. Including each other.

      We couldn't understand it, since we pretty much cheated and answered almost identically...

      Wow. That is... creepy.

      -9.63, -7.03 Rage, rage against the Lying of the Right

      by Maryscott OConnor on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 06:55:16 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I think it takes time to sort through (none / 0)

        and give you matches, because almost everyone I know from eharmony had the same thing happen to them, especially if you limited your geographic territory to be very close to home.  My friend's now-girlfriend, whom he met through eharmony, at first had no matches and somehow convinced them to let her retake the test.  On her second try, she answered every question the way she thought a guy would answer it, and next thing she knew, she had stacks of matches!  I'm not sure what this means...

        by Lawyer to Capitalists on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 07:36:28 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Nope (4.00 / 3)

          We left the profiles up for a month.

          And may I say, what is the fucking point of having to ANSWER THE WAY YOU THINK PEOPLE WANT YOU TO ANSWER?

          I learned something valuable a long time ago:

          In any given situation, about half thepeople will love you and half the people will hate you or not give a shit about you.

          If you're not being yourself...

          You've got the wrong half loving you.

          -9.63, -7.03 Rage, rage against the Lying of the Right

          by Maryscott OConnor on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 07:38:57 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Absolutely! (none / 0)

            I answered honestly and found enough matches I actually had something in common with that I felt it was worthwhile (although I certainly sifted through  many who frightened me or were just simply all wrong) ... the only drawback being that they  usually lived several states away.  (perhaps this is due to me living in a Red State with many surrounding Red States!)

            And, even though my friend's girlfriend totally hijacked her personality test, she and my friend get along great and are very happy.

            by Lawyer to Capitalists on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 07:43:11 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

      •  nah (none / 0)

        it's not atheism. I was curious about this when I first saw this thread. I took the quiz and answered the questions honestly -- that I was "Moral", and my beliefs were important to me, but that I was not spiritual and not religious, not part of any recognized religion in their list, that I did not go to church or find church activities to be important. I got four matches. Two looked like reasonable matches, two were very Christian black men from Atlanta who wrote that they ascribed their new cars and other successes to the grace of God. (I was actually a bit surprised that I was allowed to get interracial matches from eHarmony.)

        Obama Everywhere!

        by kismet on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 07:37:57 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  Hey. (none / 0)

      utahgirl.

      I'm in Utah too.  I have never tried one of those sites, too scared what will happen.

      Hell, I went on a blind date a few months back and that was disasterous, at least for me.

      I do have a friend that uses the dating sites and he has had success, but I think he is in it just for sex.

      God, I hope it wasn't him.  LOL.

      What part of Utah are you in?  I'm in Holladay.

      KO

      -7.88/-5.33 Obama 2008

      by buckeyekarl on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 07:03:43 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I don't know how I passed (4.00 / 3)

      but I did at E-harmony, I told the truth. I figured out they were a bit of what I call Good Ol' Boys on the cheap. All my matches were put off by my background really quick.

      I guess being an Army veteran and police officer didn't figure into their plan of things. I stayed with them for about 4 months before I pretty much realized they were a "women in the kitchen" dating service.

      That's what I get when my nickname for half my life was "Amazon Warrior Princess".

      Art and Politics: Please God Save Us

      by ladydawg on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 09:33:10 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Funny- (none / 1)

        I'm an Air Force vet and I'm married to a cop.

        The adjective most likely to be used describing me:  intimidating. Go figure.

        The last guy I dated before I met my husband (we've been married for 18 yrs) broke up with me because he said I didn't need him enough.  

        You'll find the right guy-progressive men love strong women.

        "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag carrying the Cross" Sinclair Lewis -7.25, -7.23

        by Baseballgirl on Sun Feb 06, 2005 at 07:40:13 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Weird (none / 0)

          My ex-boyfriend once told me I wasn't jealous enough.  I told him, "what's the point?  If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat.  Why obsess about it?  That would just take up valuable time."  I didn't realize jealousy was a good thing.  I always thought jealousy says a lot more about the person with the feelings than the person they're obsessing on.

          I can see why a lot of marriages don't work.  A lot of people confuse feelings of jealousy/possessiveness with love.

          Turn ons: progressives, Democrats with spines Turn offs: conservatives, people named Bush, John McCain

          by Unstable Isotope on Sun Feb 06, 2005 at 09:05:23 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    •  guess I was the lucky one... (none / 1)

      got a freebie with eharmony, and 99% of the "matches" were nowhere near my league career wise, education wise, goal wise, etc.  I did meet my boyfriend now through eharmony, but I tell him he was a diamond in a bucket of coal.  We have since realized we've been passing in very close circles socially and work wise for almost 10 years, but just kept missing each other.  funny, but I think forces greater than we intervened.  I refuse public admit to the eharmony connection though... the official story is "met through mutual friends."

      by bionicKitty on Sun Feb 06, 2005 at 10:47:26 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  nice work... (4.00 / 5)

    Your letter was great.

    I had no idea eHarmony was associated with Dr. Spongebob Dobson's group. I'll file them away in my "evil corporations" folder and spread the word.

    This is exactly what diaries are for--to get this kind of information out to the kossack community as quickly as possible. Thank you.

    "If you are what you say you are...a superstar...then have no fear, the camera's here." lupe fiasco

    by pacific city on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:15:40 PM PDT

  •  Thanks (4.00 / 2)

    for sharing this with us.  I think the word needs to go out that eharmony is linked to Dobson's hate group.

    "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll (CA-15)

    by kathyp on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:19:00 PM PDT

  •  Thanks (4.00 / 4)

    Thanks for posting this.  One of my friends subscribes to eHarmony.  I forwarded your diary to her.  I don't know if she'll do anything about it, but at least she'll be informed.  She's left leaning but not particularly politically active.

    by shetquaker on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:19:17 PM PDT

  •  by the way, (4.00 / 2)

    you asked for constructive criticism, so here is a tiny suggestion re: formatting (the content is excellent.)

    The diary would be a little easier to read if you put the email into a "quote box" to help separate it from the rest of your commentary. You can find info on how to do this in the FAQ.

    Again, just a minor suggestion to help the reader flow through your material. Good job!

    "If you are what you say you are...a superstar...then have no fear, the camera's here." lupe fiasco

    by pacific city on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:21:59 PM PDT

  •  that's odd (4.00 / 2)

    Does anybody remember hearing the incessant annoying eharmony ads on Air America, the one's where Dr. Dobson pronounces "soulmate" with a creepy kind of emphasis that sent shivers down my spine every time?

    I wonder if they advertised there to cover up their true alliances?  Weird.

    Anger is an energy.

    by queerbklynboy on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:35:44 PM PDT

    •  YES (none / 1)

      That was my first thought how EHarmony ALWAYS advertises on Air America.  I guess its a means to and ends. Since its just starting out AAR can't be picky about sponsors. But its wierd that EHarmony would want to affiliate itself w/ AAR. It just goes to show $$$ is more important than "morals" to these "moral values" hypocrits.

      It's not easy being a Floridian

      by lawstudent922 on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 01:37:34 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Put on your tinfoil hat (4.00 / 3)

        I understand the Air America lineup is carried by a lot of Clear Channel stations.  At first I thought, why would Clear Channel carry AAR? And concluded the same as you--they'll go where the $$ are.

        Then it struck me: If your radio network carries their programs in lots of markets, you have leverage. You can apply pressure if they get out of line, and you can even shut them down if need be. Same would apply to sponsors.

        The ownership society at work.

        I hope I'm just being paranoid, I really do.

        by wont get fooled again on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 02:17:01 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  They probably see it as evangelism. (4.00 / 2)

        Since of course anyone who listens to AA is in need of salvation, some unsuspecting folk just might come to Jesus through eHarmony--who knows?  The Lord working in mysterious ways and all that.

        We seek not rest but transformation. - Marge Piercy

        by Leslie in CA on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 02:22:36 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  OMG, people . . . (none / 0)

          please, please, please give those tinfoil hats a rest!  The other side does enough obviously awful things--must we really see conspiracy theories where there is no evidence to support them?

          by Lawyer to Capitalists on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 03:03:18 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Don't take away my fucking tinfoil (4.00 / 6)

            It's not paranoia if they really ARE out to get you.

            And they ARE, Blanche... they ARE.

            -9.63, -7.03 Rage, rage against the Lying of the Right

            by Maryscott OConnor on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 07:15:02 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          •  Dude, what conspiracy? (none / 0)

            It's got nothing to do with conspiracies.  This is how fundamentalist Christian evangelicals think, that's all.  Everything, for them--absolutely everything--is prioritized around leading people to Jesus.  I can guarantee you that the owners of eHarmony see their business as a "ministry" that, in addition to helping good Christian singles find each other, might help people get saved.

            We seek not rest but transformation. - Marge Piercy

            by Leslie in CA on Sun Feb 06, 2005 at 04:50:50 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  Just saw this comment ... (none / 0)

              sorry for the delayed reply, but I don't see how you could know if their intent for eharmony is what you say.  I am an actual person who has used eharmony and met several of its members.  What basis do you have for reaching that conclusion?

              On the topic of reaching conclusions without proof, I am not a "dude," I am a woman.

              by Lawyer to Capitalists on Wed Feb 09, 2005 at 05:25:17 AM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  Basis for my conclusion (none / 0)

                The founder of eHarmony, according to comments in this thread, is a conservative Christian who has appeared on the 700 club.  As a former fundie, I know how they think.  It has nothing to do with the intentions or experiences of "actual people" who have used their services.

                And I use "dude" as a gender-neutral term.

                We seek not rest but transformation. - Marge Piercy

                by Leslie in CA on Thu Feb 10, 2005 at 09:36:45 AM PDT

                [ Parent ]

      •  it's much, much simpler than that (4.00 / 3)

        eHarmony buys CC stations (and other radio groups as well) in bulk.  you get a lot better rate when you buy hundreds of stations at once.

        I work at a CC station (format-classic rock) and we run the ads quite often.

        by kineticdissent on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 03:32:40 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  That guy (none / 1)

    has been extremely annoying since the first time I saw his commercial. I distrust pretty much anyone who pitches product on TV. But for reasons I could never put my finger on, this guy gave me the creeps. Now I know why.

    Thanks for the posting. Everyone should be made aware that this company is a tenacle of Rev SpongeDob's 'Focus on the Faggots'

    by JoeWPgh on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:39:53 PM PDT

  •  well done, well said! (4.00 / 5)

    this is exactly what we need to do when we find out that companies that we are patronizing are in bed w/ hatemongers.
    it's why i'm not working out at Curves, even though i could use it.  saw the founder on the 700 Club & that was it for me.

    by gothmom on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:40:34 PM PDT

    •  oh drat (none / 0)

      Don't tell me Curves is on the Dark Side.  It's the only workout place I can get to near home and work.

      by GardenGirl on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 01:31:40 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Um, yes it is (none / 1)

        Don't remember where I heard it, but I remember hearing the Curves supports/is closely affiliated with some anti-choice women's group.

        Pretend you didn't read this.  Or figure that my vague recollection MUST be incorrect. ;)

        "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell

        by Emerson on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 02:22:24 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  Curves is on the dark side (4.00 / 5)

        Sorry to have to break it to you, but yeah.  Curves is on the dark side.

        Past Kos diaries on this

        What's wrong with Curves for Women? Well...alot....
        Click here

        and

        Fitness chain supports hardline anti-abortion groups
        Click here

        I remember calling Curves when one opened up near my house.  I was shocked that they were only open from 9-4 M-F.  I said, "How do working women work out there?  I have to leave for work at 7:30 and I don't get home 'till after 7."  And the new franchise owner said Curves was meant to be a welcoming place for stay-at-home moms.  

        I proudly work for Jim Himes for Congress in CT-04.

        by Maura in VA on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 03:01:10 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  My Mom Works Out There (none / 0)

        And I am glad she does.  She is happy with it (she is a true modarate.)

        I would say that you keep using it - for two reasons.  One is that it is a franchise, and the franchise owner may not be of that wingnut persuasion - and since it is a franchise, it is close to "buying local".  The other is use it to your subversive advantage.  Convert people from the dark side.  Hell, they probably don't know that the owner is evil either.

        George W Bush - Frozen in adolescence

        by FRANKL on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 05:03:23 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Not Curves!!! (4.00 / 2)

          You know, after my recent vistis to Buy Blue to research companies, I wondered about Curves. I have been a member for 2 years and I LOVE it! I hate gyms as a rule but this place is different and it gets me moving. So I am disturbed to hear that the founder is a 700clubber. Crap.

          But, I too thought of the franchise issue. I know the owner of my Curves. She is a hard working entrprenuer herself. The place is open  from 7-7 m-f and then for 4 hours in the mornings Sat & Sun. As a single working mom, those hours are golden for me.

          In order to keep myself healthy and in shape, I will justify my support by thinking of the gal running it.

          Trees, Flowers & Birds

          by SanDiegoDem on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 06:16:50 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  asdf (none / 0)

          just curious. would you apply the same standard to dominos pizza and chic-fil-a?

          i'm personally undecided.

          by JoelK in AZ on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 07:30:46 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Yes. (none / 0)

            Yes I would.  You could have a blue company that franchises out, and have the owner be a total Rethug.  I guess there are shades of purple when franchises come into the discussion.

            At least we know that Wal-Fart doesn't franchise out.

            George W Bush - Frozen in adolescence

            by FRANKL on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 10:23:23 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

    •  the other reason not to go there: bursitis (none / 0)

      apparently, it is EXTREMELY common for Curves members to get bursitis, because the program just basically throws you into working out at a particular level, without building you up to that level.  without properly building up your capacity, you end up with very, very painful joint problems.

      so, they suck on the level of what they do with their money, which only comes from women (and which they use to hurt womens' issues).  but they also suck on the level of their raison d'etre, by giving you bursitis when you are there to IMPROVE your health, not harm it further.  feh!

      No matter how cynical you get ... you can never keep up.

      by LegalSpice on Sun Feb 06, 2005 at 10:52:56 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  e-Harm-on-me (4.00 / 10)

    When eHarmony started advertising on Air America, I couldn't resist discovering who my scientifically determined perfect mate was. So I took the brutally long personality test, and here she is -- my Mrs. Right:

    The one thing jaime is most passionate about:

    gucci,channel,prada,bebe,and my fav... coach

    The most important thing jaime is looking for in a person is:

    i love guys that look like chris pontius (dark eyes, chubby,lots of facial hair) turn offs include:blondes, thin guys with no sense of humor. you must love beer and love to party all weekend long!!!!!

    The first thing you'll probably notice about jaime when you meet her:

    honestly, nothing but my appearance gets noticed. (people can be so shallow!!!)

    The one thing jaime wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

    my sincerity is genuine even though people say i appear "fake"

    jaime typically spends her leisure time:

    spending time with friends and drinking of course! and no im not an alcoholic just a social drinker

    The last book jaime read and enjoyed:

    book? whats that? ummmmm.......harry potter was the last book but i didnt get all the way threw it.

    Ahhh... True love. Thank you, Doctor Neil Clark Warren.


    "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right." - Salvor Hardin

    by Zackpunk on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:41:37 PM PDT

  •  I didn't know (none / 0)

    Wow, I didn't know about eHarmony's wicked connections.    That's creepy and you did the right thing.  Nice letter.  Nice action by posting.

    Glad to be here

    by exhausted by the spin on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:42:10 PM PDT

  •  It is noteable... (4.00 / 2)

    that eHarmony only caters to heterosexual couples.

    "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

    by Jonathan4Dean on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:45:37 PM PDT

    •  Yes! (4.00 / 2)

      I noticed that, too!  I've used match.com off and on over the years, and they always allow you to search for any gender combination -- i.e. "I am a (man/woman) searching for a (man/woman)."  When I took the eHarmony test, I immediately noticed that they only allowed for heterosexual couples.  That should have been a red flag, but I figured what the heck, and signed up for a short membership to see what it would be like.  I've been a bit disappointed, since few of the matches they've sent me seem all that appealing -- I was under the impression that after that long-ass test, they would find people who were especially compatible with me in all kinds of ways.  But I just seem to be getting random women in my general age range.  Now, with this new information, I'm going to cancel my membership.

      I haven't had a ton of success with Match.com, either -- a few dates here and there.  My one Match.com success story was a pretty good one, though.  We clicked more completely than I ever have with anyone else in my life, and though we only actually dated for a few months, we stayed very close (a truly amicable breakup -- yes, they do happen), and five years later she is still one of my best friends and favorite people in the world.

      by djk1 on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 06:18:28 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  funny (none / 1)

    I posted a weblog entry long ago about eharmony and people started commenting about it... and somehow, before long, that one weblog entry ended up the very top google result for "eharmony sucks".  I think it's still near the top.  All sorts of people bickering about matchmaking services.  I just stayed out of the way.  :)

    tunesmith's latest song: My Favorite Clown

    by tunesmith on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:46:09 PM PDT

  •  If dkos spins off a dating site... (4.00 / 18)

    can we call it e-cacophony?

    This is a test of the Emergency Free Speech System.
    This is only a test.
    If this had been an actual emergency, I'd already be locked up.

    by ben masel on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:48:30 PM PDT

  •  asdf (none / 0)

    i had no idea! thanks for the information.

    by JoelK in AZ on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 12:56:08 PM PDT

  •  Dr. Clark donated max to Our President(tm) (4.00 / 8)

    check it out: Dr. Neil Clark Warren's political donations

    That ought to be the deal breaker you need.  Pass it on.

    by DarthCheney on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 01:04:17 PM PDT

  •  Thank you (4.00 / 2)

    I had no idea they were involved with Fungus on the Family.

    I do remember looking at e-harmony back before my Beloved and I met, and noting that they have no distinction for people who have been widowed. It was "how many times have you been married?" with possible answers of Never, Once, or Two or More Times, but there was no question as to "did your most recent marriage end in divorce or in death"?

    Oh, yeah. If you want to protect marriage, make divorce more difficult to get except for cause (like abuse!), and promote polyamory...but that's just me.

    Want to be a living kidney donor? I need one from someone with a bloodtype of B or O. Drop a note at riverheart.livejournal.com.

    by Kitsap River on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 01:22:22 PM PDT

  •  Interesting note in their FAQ (4.00 / 7)

    After reading this, I was poking around their FAQ.  Here's part of the their answer to the question "Does eHarmony offer same-sex matching?"

    "Based on over 35 years of clinical practice and empirical study, eHarmony has discovered what similarities and differences between men and women lead to their most successful unions. This unprecedented research into compatibility has been conducted with the goal of lowering the rate of unsuccessful marriages and divorce by providing singles with a tool for finding truly compatible matches with whom to pursue a relationship. With this goal in mind, eHarmony's research has only examined heterosexual relationships."

    Creepy.

    Dan

    by doasfu on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 01:37:10 PM PDT

  •  Thanks (4.00 / 8)

    I didn't know this.  I cancelled my subscription and sent them the following E-Mail hijacked somewhat from yours:

    I am closing my account because your company is affiliated with  Focus on the Family, which I consider to be a hate group.  I cannot be in integrity with my beliefs and support that group or any of its affiliates financially.

    I must say I am deeply disappointed that your organization would affiliate with Focus on the Family and Dr. Dobson.  My understanding was that this company is abut bringing people together, not depriving certain people of their basic right to exist.  I was shocked and horrified to have contributed to such a
    mindset via my subscription.

    This also explains why I haven't found any satisfactory matches in almost a year.  My profile is a very liberal picture of me, and that obviously doesn't play well with your company "focus".  You need to be upfront about your right wing affiliations.

    Please know that I will be telling everyone I know (and posting on my favorite blogs) about my experience with your company and what II have learned about your agenda.

    Sincerely,
    AnnRose

    HotFlashReport - Opinionated liberal views of the wrongs of the right focusing on abortion and reproductive rights.

    by annrose on Sat Feb 05, 2005 at 01:47:05 PM PDT

    •  Wow! (none / 0)

      I'm flattered!  Actually, I've been thinking about this all weekend.  What happened to the nice little Catholic girl I was that would have put up and shut up?  Really, the way I was raised, I had no opinions of my own and didn't even know gays existed (although I'd heard rumors that some people weren't white).

      Soooo glad I stuffed her in a closet years ago.

      "I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing Light of your own Being." --Hafiz

      by mskate on Mon Feb 07, 2005 at 07:54:03 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • &n