From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
From Tech-sol: Lessons learned from surviving a hurricane...
My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).
Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.
He who has the biggest generator wins.
There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.
A 7 lb bag of ice will chill six 12-oz Budweisers to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
There are a lot of damn trees around here.
People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.
When required, a Lincoln Continental will float; it doesn't steer well, but it floats just the same.
Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!
If I had a store that sold only ice, chain saws, gas and generators...I'd be rich.
Price of peanut butter and bread rises 200% in a storm
MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill?????
The only good thing about not having telephones---you haven't had a call from a telemarketer lately, have you?
Stay safe, Gulf Coasters. But have no fear, the cavalry is on the...well...stay safe. Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, September 23, 2005
Note: Are you Bianca??
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By the Numbers:
Days `til the Carrabassett Valley Fall Foliage Fat Tire Frolic: 16
Days `til Daylight Saving Time ends: 37
Age of the oldest corporate mascot: 128 years (the Quaker Oats dude)
Percent of men who wash their hands after using the bathroom: 75%
Percent of women who wash their hands after using the bathroom: 90%
(American Society of Microbiology)
Days the federal terror alert system has been in place: 1,318
Days spent at terror alert level Green or Blue: 0
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Your Puppy Pic of the Day The Caped Crusader strikes again! ("But no way you're getting' me to wear tights.")
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CHEERS to Democracy in action. There's a big march in Washington tomorrow (you may have heard) to protest the Iraq war. President Bush and the Republicans in Congress are expected to show up to thank the participants for making America a greater country by engaging in spirited, non-violent dissent. They figure the gesture will paralyze y'all so you can be quietly whisked away to an undisclosed location. Whatever you do...don't look directly into their eyes! (...and wear sunscreen.)
JEERS to waiting. While residents of Texas and Louisiana inch their way (in 100-degree heat) toward safety, Hurricane "That Time of the Month" is bearing down on the coast. When the rebuilding begins after this is over, all structures will be made of steel-reinforced Nerf.
P.S. Memo from Mother Nature: The word is "humility," Earthlings. Look it up.
CHEERS to the Daily Kos weather channelers. Darksyde and Steve Gregory, thanks for being our eyes and ears through these storms. This weekend we'll be joined at the hip.
CHEERS to scandals with legs. The day after Kossack Sherlock Google posted a controversial diary on the subject, yesterday's Portland Press Herald had this headline above the fold on the front page: Sept. 11 military cover-up alleged. Subhead: The Pentagon is accused of destroying pre-attack records linking hijacker Mohamed Atta to al-Qaida. Atta, you may recall, started his 9/11 day flying from Portland to Boston and then on to New York, so if there was a cover-up we're going to be more than a little miffed. You can't hide behind your sandbagged office in the Pentagon forever, Rummy.
JEERS to looking the other way. From the San Francisco Gate via Raw Story:
President Bush decided Wednesday to waive any financial sanctions on Saudi Arabia, Washington's closest Arab ally in the war on terrorism, for failing to do enough to stop the modern-day slave trade in prostitutes, child sex workers and forced laborers.
In June, the State Department listed 14 countries as failing to adequately address trafficking problems, subjecting them all to possible sanctions if they did not crack down.
The White House statement offered no explanation of why [Saudi Arabia was] regarded differently.
This calls for an immediate Justice Department crackdown on porn inside the United States!
JEERS to today's Great Big Pile of Bullshit. Robert Novak on himself: "I do not see myself as a defender of the Bush presidency, and I am sure the White House does not regard me as such." At least that's what I think he said; his voice was muffled because his head was up Karl Rove's ass at the time.
CHEERS to great moments in naval warfare. On September 23, 1779---during the War of Independence---Commodore John Paul Jones engaged a British man-of-war in the North Sea. It was during this battle that Jones, his ship sinking, uttered the immortal words, "I have not yet begun to fight!" Less known was the response from his crew: "Well, wouldn't this be a good $#!!@# time to start?!"
JEERS to the pooch who saved Tricky Dick. On this date in 1952, Veep candidate Richard Nixon delivered his famous `Checkers speech.' He stated that he would not give back the furry gift---whether it had political ties or not---because it was a present for his daughter. We showed this photo to Molly, C&J's chocolate lab. The verdict: Nice ass.
JEERS to the party of Bugman. From Billmon:
Great Moments in Political Leadership
"With malice toward none, with charity for all, let us bind up the nation's wounds."
Abraham Lincoln
1864
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
1933
"Ask not what your country can do for you. [Ask what] what you can do for your country."
John F. Kennedy
1961
"My earmarks are pretty important."
Tom Delay
2005
Heroes one and all.
CHEERS to "Mr. Wonderful." Metro bus driver Floyd Thurston has become a godsend to many of D.C.'s homeless for allowing them to sleep on his bus until his shift ends at 3am (for many, the alleys and shelters are too dangerous). "You see people in need, you try to help and if you can't help, you do the best you can," he says. "When I was coming up, people around me always were doing for each other. People were just different. The strong should help the weak." Should.
CHEERS to souls with soul. Happy 75th birthday to the late Ray Charles. Last year C&J readers voted `Georgia On My Mind' as their favorite song from the legend. Pay your respects---and belt out a tune in his honor---right here. (We warbled `Mess Around.' How `bout you?)
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One Year Ago in C&J: September 23, 2004...
CHEERS to Kitty's claws. Kelley's book, `The Family,' knocks (finally!) the swift boaters off the top of the NYT best-seller list. But C&J has always wondered: what the dickens was `Unfit For Command' doing on the non-fiction list, anyway?
JEERS to sleeping with the enemy. Bush gets official backing of the all-gay Abe Lincoln Black Republican Caucus. How, oh how, will we compensate for those three lost votes? [9/23/05 Update: You guys still proud of Preznit now??]
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And just one more...
CHEERS to Friday cat blogging. This pootie is very special to us, so please click here.
Floor's open. What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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