CDC WARNING: LIBERAL BLOOD

Health Warning to Conservatives:

THE BLOOD SUPPLY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED:

The CDC issued the following warning:  The Head of the CDC today warned conservatives that immediately after the attacks in America by terrorists on September 11th, 2001, thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of LIBERALS gave blood, injecting more than 900,000 liters of tainted LIBERAL plasma and blood into banks and hospitals across America.  When officials were questioned about how LIBERAL blood could have entered the usual safe blood supply, the head of the CDC stated:

 "We really don't know how this happened.  I guess it was just a situation where thousands of LIBERALS showed up at blood donation sites across the country and intermixed with the true patriots.... it was chaos after that terrible day... we didn't have enough health care workers to ensure the LIBERAL blood was separated from the true conservative patriot blood.  We feel terrible about this whole mess."  

If you are experiencing the following symptoms, you may have received LIBERAL blood:

See below:

1.  Increased critical thinking skills
   
   
2.  An unexplained skill for identifying truth from propaganda.
   
   
3.  A new talent for empathy.
   
   
4.  A loss of your intuitive connection to the HIVE.
   
   

What should you do if you think you may have received LIBERAL blood?

Karl Rove, spokesman for the President, also known as "Bush's Brain" made the following suggestions:

1.  Consider a complete transfusion before you begin to transform into a critical thinker.
   
   
2.  Immediately begin a steady diet of reading Ann Coulter and other Conservative material to counteract the effects of empathy. Listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Liely 24/7.
   
   
3.   Overcompensate by engaging in fear and smear attacks on LIBERALS, blaming them for everything from being unpatriotic to having bad breath.
   
   

Rove and other members of the Bush administration will begin an investigation into this tragedy after receiving a petition signed by 1,000 true conservative patriots demanding answers.  Hearings will be held in the largest room available in the Senate with CSPAN broadcasting live.

•  Funny

  Thanks for the chuckle.

  by loba70 on Sat Jun 25, 2005 at 01:16:03 PM PDT

•  impeccable timing

  My very Liberal spouse just donated today. He does so every time they call him A+.
  He is trying to spread Liberal thoughts as often as he can ;)
   

  by arkdem on Sat Jun 25, 2005 at 01:32:23 PM PDT

•  Well done!

  Spreading Liberalism with every pint... how subversive. ;)
  

  by TheOtherWashington on Sat Jun 25, 2005 at 01:55:44 PM PDT