This one is for Bill Bennett. It is entitled:
LIVING WITH LEVITICUS
- ABOMINATIONS THAT ARE EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN AND WHICH CANNOT BE CONDONED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE
- Homosexuality - Lev. 18:22.
- Touching the skin of a dead pig (e.g.: playing football, etc.) - Lev. 11:7-8.
- Eating shellfish - Lev. 11:10.
- Touching a menstruating woman and any furniture or clothing that has come in contact with menstruating women - Lev.15:19-21.
- Planting two different crops in the same field - Lev. 19:19
- Wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (polyester blends definitely not recommended) - Lev. 19:19
- Getting one's hair trimmed, especially around the temples - Lev. 19:27.
- Approaching the altar of the Lord if you have poor eyesight - Lev. 21:20.
- PERMISSIBLE BEHAVIORS:
- Burning bulls (fuck the neighbors) - Lev. 1:9.
- Burning people who sleep with their in-laws - Lev. 20:14.
- Stoning blasphemers (as a group event) - Lev.24:14
- Owning slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations - Lev. 25:44. (Mexicans and Canadians make excellent slaves.)