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(Eventually this kind of silliness and satire will be available at The American Factotum)

Atlanta, Georgia - Jan. 10, 2006 - Following the first day of confirmation hearings by the Senate judiciary committee, Soledad O'Brien, anchor of CNN's American Morning, wondered yesterday if harsh criticisms leveled against U.S. Supreme Court nominee Samuel A. Alito, Jr. bother him on a personal level.

"All of those Democratic senators were so mean to mean to him," O'Brien lamented, shaking her head. "Like when Ted Kennedy (D-MA) said that Mr. Alito supported the idea of an all-powerful presidency... how did he keep from, you know, feeling sad and embarrassed? Down in the dumps?"

Alito, 55, has served on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit for the last fifteen years. President Bush nominated Alito on October 31, 2005, to fill Sandra Day O'Connor's seat on the highest court in the land.

Using her delicate hands, O'Brien lifted a coffee mug to her lips, gingerly sipping a hot latte prepared by a college-aged production assistant.

"And what about that meanie Russ Feingold (D-WI)? I felt so bad when that guy brought up Alito's substantial investments in the Vanguard mutual funds company, and how during Alito's 1990 confirmation hearing to the federal appeals court he pledged to recuse himself from any case involving Vanguard. Senator Feingold had the nerve to point out that Alito broke his promise in 2002 and sat on a panel in case involving Vanguard anyway. How rude!

"To add insult to injury, Feingold said that, given the current environment of corruption in Washington, America needs judges who are beyond ethical reproach. Like Sam Alito didn't know he was talking about him! How could Sammy stand it? I would have run out of there in tears. And Alito's mother was there, too, right behind him! Who does Feingold think he is?"

O'Brien has anchored American Morning since joining the cable news giant CNN in 2003. She was named to People magazine's ridiculous "50 Most Beautiful" list in 2001.

"I wonder," O'Brien said. "Alito seems like such a nice man. A family man. After those Democratic senators like (Charles) Schumer and (Dick) Durbin were done saying awful things about him, I just know he wanted to stand up and shout, `Hey, I know you were talking about me! You're weren't being very nice!'"

Originally posted to AmericanFactotum on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 08:59 AM PST.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Soledad is my BFF (4.00)
    because she's ALWAYS SO NICE!

    (Imagine how Pee Wee herman would say that sentence.)

  •  No surprise (none)
    whiney political hacks claim bleeding heart liberals are meanies.

    Oh please.

    inspire change...don't back down

    by missliberties on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 09:14:08 AM PST

  •  re (none)
    another wothless news model. Her and wolfie should do lunch. In Iraq.

    Steve Holt says "Steve Holt!"

    by cookiesandmilk on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 09:14:19 AM PST

  •  please... (none)
    someone tell me this is a joke, right?

    I mean this is just snark, right?

    Please, are you telling me that American journalism has sunk this low?

    Making the world a little better place can be fun.

    by gradinski chai on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 09:21:34 AM PST

  •  Vapid Shills (none)
    I am so sick of these empty suits that they put up as news people. Please!! Soledad is about as much a journalist as the guy on the show Talk Soup on the E.

    You can tell from her deep analysis (add laughter here) of one of the most important processes in are democracy that this women could not walk and chew gum at the sametime.

  •  The O'Briens (none)
    Soledad, Miles, Uhda, skippy and don't forget Bosephus. The only time these fools and cnn are of any use is in a disaster. Well they were useful, now they are the katie and matt of cnn. I have a hard time not blowing hot tea out of my nose watching the stupidity and insolence of these people. Have they ever been investigative reporters? Bring back Max Headroom.
    tung sol

    'cause you're the green manalishi with the two prong crown--Peter Green, Green Manalishi

    by tung sol on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 09:35:42 AM PST

  •  I was quite taken with her.., (none)
    when she was doing the live feeds from New Orleans after Katrina, but in her regular "work" clothes she looks like a mannequin and has the intellect to match.

    "Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others." Groucho Marx

    by irate on Tue Jan 10, 2006 at 09:41:06 AM PST

    •  ok, knock anything but her jewelry! ok? (none)
      that three strand of turquoise jewelry she wears - i made.  she (or a friend, don't remember which) had them custom ordered from the monterey farmer's market from a jeweler friend of mine.  mine was the task of designing and making them.  

      watch for three strands of chunk turq (17"/20"/24" long).  the real design comes in placement of each individual stone for balance.

      just a side note here...

  •  You had me going for a moment there (none)
    I thought it was real.  Such nakedly unprofessional editorializing seems par for the course these days.
  •  She is such a nitwit... (none)

    that I could almost see her saying something this stupid.

    I cannot stand to watch the AM program on CNN any more, and Soledad annoys me the most of all of them.    Rick Sanchez comes in a close 2nd for most annoying personality.  Lots of pointless chit-chat, lots of happy talk to keep the sponsors happy.  Very little of substance..

    I tend to watch CNN international these days.  Even this isn't perfect, but it is a whole lot better than watching the chattering monkeys on the AM program.

  •  CNN and BBC (none)
    CNN international news anchors dont get giggly or tend to show their political colors.  I'm tired of the teeth and hair over content at the domestic CNN.

    Soledad needs to try getting a job at the BBC, their first consideration is not prettiness or how good they look, but rather that they are fluent in several languages and can manage an anchor desk without mention of meanies.

    I pay for BBC World and do it happily and find their coverage of North America and the rest of the world more than adequate. I do know that BBC seems to have more coverage of Iraq than CNN domestic feed.

  •  did she say those +exact+ things? (none)

    if not, the words should +not+ be in quotes.

    can you confirm that everything that is quoted she really did say, exactly?

    cheers --

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