In 1987 Nike used the Beatles song
Revolution in an ad and people have been whining and writing about it ever since. Every five minutes, in fact.
I still think it's ironic that though the surviving members of the Beatles protested Nike's commercial because they didn't have control over their own music, I can't help thinking it's just payback for their earlier careers when they cashed in on the black musicians who probably had little control over their own music at that time as well.
Regardless, Revolution became evolution: Yoko Ono lets Nike walk all over Instant Karma, Paul McCartney becomes a shill for Fidelity Investments, and now you can go on his site and win a Lexus. Oh, but you have to adopt a land mine. Show you care about the world, and then then can run over the olive tree.
Nowadays advertisers try to play stump the viewer, an almost reverse tactic where they try to get you to find out what exactly was that song in that car commercial?. You gotta know--not that you're buying the car, but so you can download it. Illegally. The band benefits at some point, because their label will spring for stickers that they can put on the cover of their CD: Features the hit song in that Herpes commercial.
Although music and advertising are permanently fused at the genitals, it still doesn't mean there's a loss of respect for the music involved. Because that's what really gets my attention every time. Nike really didn't ruin the Beatles song, and its no worse for the wear. It's the friggin' Beatles. But when James Brown starts hawking laxatives, that's all you can ever think about when you hear I Got You: I got you by the bowels.
Which brings me to what I heard today in a supermarket. Supermarkets always seem to be the most surreal godawful places--they play music to try and interfere with your vain attempts to do math in your head while you're looking at incomprehensible shelf tags under the buzzing of a supernova of fluorescent lighting. I once heard the muzak version of Born To Be Wild in a grocery store. And I loved it, because it was a symbol of the baby boomers, my parents generation, who were supposed to be this super race of people who cared about the world, but then trampled over each other in a race for selfishness not seen but on the darkest of Black Fridays. At 6 AM. Near the $5 DVD players. Careful, don't trip over the hand sticking out of the rubble there.
So, they were human. And with a sigh of relief, we Generation Xers didn't have to live up to their image. And for the longest while, they didn't have a clue as how to cash in on our music. They liked it. They got caught up in R.E.M., and U2 themselves, and they knew it was the same thing that they used to stand for. And then R.E.M. and U2 sold out, and they gave them a standing ovation. But they're still sniffing around today, like the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, trying to catch the innocence of the Revolution Moment that will bring Generation X to its knees. And my generation has people in the ranks who will hand out maps for free candy.
But that Moment hasn't come. My palms started sweating when they used I Melt With You in a Burger King commercial, not because Modern English was our Beatles, but because they were on the 4AD label, and that was too close for comfort. There's been several awkward ad moments, and even though they got to Iggy Pop, I don't think they know what Lust For Life is about, but it definitely ain't no Carnival. They seem to think that our generation was defined by the poppy yet vapid hits of the 80's, and for some it definitely was. But it's no Revolution.
So I've come full circle to what happened today, when Madness hit me. True Madness, it was...it was...it was Our House, an apparent drunken karaoke version sung loud enough to cover the noise of the cat they were torturing. Lucky for you you can hear this hideous rendition on Maxwell House's website:
Spruce up your house today
With Maxwell House coffee
There's all kinds of ways
Our house
With lots of home improvement stuff
Our house
$10000 every month.
Nope, still not Revolution. Yeah, Remax may get House of Fun, without the condoms. Listerine will use Every Breath You Take, and I'll bet money Under the Milky Way sells candy bars. And don't forget the Heartbreak Beat of America.
And they'll get us sooner or later. But if they're looking for a Heartbreaker, it won't be Pat Benatar. It probably will be found on Enigma, SST, 415 Records, Beggar's Banquet, Twin Tone, Alternative Tentacles, IRS, and a dozen more.
But for some reason, I don't put much stock in them using the Dead Kennedys.