**Won't you please share the joy of WYFP by recommending?
It's been a ridiculously warm winter, but I still don't get out for walks nearly often enough (computer chair potato). Yesterday it was 50 degrees though and I couldn't not go. There's a little patch of woods near my apartment, and I hadn't realized how much I missed going out there. I settled down in a grassy clearing, and the dormant world, crisp-edged umber and gold in thin cool sunlight, drew me out into peace.
If you spend enough time in the woods you may notice that many of its denizens watch you more closely than you watch them. And many of them will approach you to tell you that you aren't wanted. Squirrels will chitter at you angrily, at nesting time red-winged blackbirds may physically assault you, and if you sit a spell a hermit thrush might come near and stare intently and tell you "tschup" so charmingly you might not even realize he too is saying "go away."
Well yesterday I was sitting on the grass and I heard some creature in the woods behind me and turned to see a doe watching me through the trees. I could hear her stomp a leg and see her flag her white tail up. Her herd skirted the clearing slowly till they were opposite me. There was a young buck who just watched, and a couple does who browsed, but one doe came as near as she dared with her gaze riveted on me, and bobbed her head and poised her beautiful foreleg before stamping forcefully. She was unmistakably investigating how dangerous I might be, and unsubtly suggesting that I go away. She spooked and trotted off, but came back soon to do this act again, so intensely trying to get a reaction, as I willed myself to hold still and not look at her directly, that I had a hard time keeping from laughing.
I wished I could convince her I wasn't actually a threat. This brought to mind Monty Roberts, who describes in his book The Man Who Listens to Horses pursuing a wild deer for days to gradually win its trust. Monty is a popularizer of a humane training concept he calls "join-up." It's based on the principle that when a pursuer relents, horses (and deer, and quite often people) will face and voluntarily move into pressure and progressively begin to make appeasement/humility gestures--a social skill for reconciliation after being chased out of the herd. This dance of being pushed away and then approaching develops the animal's confidence that the safest and most comfortable place is with the trainer, and that the trainer is a herd leader and ally that he "join up" with and literally follow around willingly.
People too may start out stamping their hooves at you, but sometimes you can press them just enough that when you retreat they'll come toward you, and if you keep advancing and then backing off and welcoming their approach, you can make allies out of them. I think the Republicans often chase us around in circles, only they don't really want to join up--they just keep Democrats running and tired and making appeasement gestures. It's cruel, and degrading to everyone, and it's bad for America. So what I'm curious about is, could progressive Democrats practice a politics of real join-up that would bring people together?
This (more or less) was what went through my head as I was watching this deer trying to feel me out. When I didn't leave, and didn't try to eat her, she swished her tail and headed off at a floating high-kneed trot.
My effing problem is that I am tired of division and fear and meanness. But I do believe there are better ways.
What's your trouble tonight? Share some love!