I was upset I missed Feingold's diary responding to Rove and his predictable `pre-9/11 mindset' talking point. He rebutted it so effectively with his "Republicans have a pre-1776 mentality" quip. If we had anything like the right-wing noise machine and an effective triangle the phrase would have been on every Democrat's lips for months. Anyway Russ has inspired me to write this diary called "If Chris Matthews covered the Continental Congress"
Chris Mathews: Hello everyone and welcome to Hardball. Today's guest is Prime Minister Frederick North. Freddie, the radical Tom Paine has just come out with a crazy speech saying `The powers of governing still remaining in the hands of the king, he will have a negative over the whole legislation of this continent. And as he hath shewn himself such an inveterate enemy to liberty, and discovered such a thirst for arbitrary power; is he, or is he not, a proper man to say to these colonies, "You shall make no laws but what I please."' Is this type of speech good for the colonies?
Lord North: You make a good point, Chris. You see, the majority of colonists do not support this kind of irresponsible rhetoric. This sort of speech can only serve to divide this country and prevent us from tackling the important problems facing the colonies.
Matthews: So you're saying that Tom Paine is outside the mainstream?
North: Naturally, Chris. And I think the colonies have rejected this sort of defeatism and second guessing of George III. King George is standing firm against this sort of subversion, and Mr. Paine's rhetoric can only give aid and comfort to the British Empire's enemies.
Matthews: George III is one of the most popular kings in the history of England. He is almost like Henry V, is it true that only the real wackos hate George III?
North: Those of us in King George's administration don't listen to the naysayers. The Colonies are prospering under the English Crown and it really is a shame that some are so blinded by their hatred of the king to recognize that.
Matthews: Did you see the scepter he was carrying during the address to Parliament last week. So regal and manly. How can the Americans hope to defeat King George when he exudes such authority and steadfastness?
North: The colonies have no hope of defeating King George, Chris. That much is clear. The colonies lack effective leadership. Look at George Washington, why just this week Sgt. Bradford, who served with Washington, came out said that Washington never actually cut down that cherry tree he's always talking about. Washington can't help but exaggerate the truth.
Matthews: It does appear that Washington has a credibility problem with the colonial people. Moving on, what do you think of Ben Franklin's recent trip to France? Should a colonial leader be visiting with British enemies?
North: Clearly, Ben Franklin does not have the colonies' best interests in mind. England is in a crisis and to consort with the empire's chief rival sends the wrong message to the world. It says that the colonies do not stand firm with George III. And only serves to weaken our security.
Matthews: There's been a lot of talk about taxes among the revolutionaries, some of them even engaged in a terrorist act by throwing the King's tea into Boston Harbor, is this just another irresponsible act by people with an irrational hatred of George III?
North: You're exactly right, Chris. This is the kind of behavior we've come to expect from these radicals. They've become the `party of no' with no real answers about the colonies' security. Where is their plan to defend the colonies from France, ask them they don't have one. But King George stands firm against the French.
Matthews: Don't you have to be a real ideologue to think that the Stamp Act infringes on colonial liberty?
North: Yes, Chris, yes you do. You don't hear how American party is going to fight the French, they are just playing politics with our security.
Matthews: I heard recently that Betsy Ross is making a separate flag for the colonies. This is just the shrill act of an English-hating nutjob, right?
North: Right again, Chris. Betsy Ross is so far outside the mainstream that even the liberal Alexander Hamilton is distancing himself from her. All of this just goes to show how far outside the mainstream the `independence party' really is.
Matthews: Well that's all the time we have for tonight, folks. Thanks for joining us and God save the king!