Do you find those long lines at airport security irritating? Have you ever arrived at a busy airport 30 minutes before your scheduled flight and missed the plane because of those long lines? (I have . . . not that I am bitter or anything.) Well, there is a solution for you!
Just spend $140 at the heliport on Wall Street and voila - no more lines!
Even though the number of airport screeners is capped at 45,000 nationwide (would not want to wast any extra $ on straightforward security measures that seem to make some sense - at least before they made us all take our shoes off), a private company is now going to be allowing passangers (who can cough up the aforementioned $140 per person) the option to check in right on WALL STREET (couldn't think of a more perfect place myself) and get whisked away directly to their gates at JFK Airport, thereby bypassing airport security.
Wait - you are probably thinking - wouldn't a clever terrorists pay the extra $140 just to avoid going through security? Have no fear - the federal government is actually footing the bill (that would be your tax dollars at work) to the tune of $560,000 to set up screening of people and luggage right there on Wall Street at this heliport which, if the idea catches on, will have a capacity to process up to 500 people per day. What a great idea! I guess that JFK and New York City's airport probably could not make better use of that $560,000 worth of government funding for airport security.