Did I give ya a heart attack?
Were you sick that your beloved Delaware Dem was leaving?
Hehehe.
No, I am not leaving. I will never leave Daily Kos. {Insert evil Mr. Burns laugh here.}
But we are now experiencing our weekly "Democrats are Evil and/or Kos is to blame" bitchfest, I thought I would do the community of vocal crybabies a favor and repost Our Man in Redmond's hysterical Goodbye Cruel World diary template for just under a year ago:
( ) Unfortunately
( ) Thankfully
( ) Angrily
( ) Resentfully
( ) Belatedly
( ) ___________
, I have decided to leave Daily Kos because:
( ) You people are all dinosaurs with the IQ of a learning-disabled patch of kale
( ) You people are all disagreeable, noxious trolls who live under a bridge . . . and those are your GOOD points
( ) Nobody reads my diaries
( ) Nobody recommends my diaries
( ) You allow ___________ who is a ___________ to post on this site
( ) ___________
You'd think you people would be able to understand
( ) Satire
( ) Sarcasm
( ) Humor
( ) English
( ) My insightful analysis into the way the world works
( ) ___________
I have therefore decided to
( ) Slit my wrists
( ) Create my own self-indulgent blog
( ) Move over to Little Green Footballs
( ) Move to Nepal and study a religion you've never heard of
( ) Get a life
( ) Deprive you of my inspired prose by deleting all my previous diaries
( ) ___________
So you can all therefore
( ) Kiss my ___________ -___________ butt (e.g., lily-white, blue-state)
( ) Congratulate me when I become Internet Hide-And-Go-Seek Champion
( ) Take a sunbath in a cyclotron
( ) Show up and apologize when I win my Nobel Peace Prize for Literature
( ) ___________
I sign this
( ) Sincerely,
( ) Indifferently,
( ) Confusedly,
( ) with the help of someone who knows how to write,
( ) ___________,
___________
(your name goes here)