Here's a good one for all you folks down at the Daily Koz command center following the Cheney massacre:
Today Harry Whittington, the man who got in the way of Cheney's gun fire, got released from the hospital and immediately apologized to Dick Cheney for causing him so much trouble. What the hell is Whittington apologizing to Cheney for?...Ruining Cheney's perfect shot at a covey of quails?
Am I dreaming?
What forces of evil were in possession of Whittington's brain when he said,: "Please forgive me for ruining your hunting party, Mr. Cheney". Maybe Whittington is one of those social climbers who wanted to be the center of attention by getting killed by the vice president.
Somebody help me, please!...can I get a freakin' witness? The United States has turned in to Backasswards Land since Bush took office! Everything that used to be good and noble is now evil under the new rules in Backasswards Land!
Being being greedy and incompetent is all the latest rage, and corruption is honorable.
Torturing prisoners of war? No problem mon!
The Backasswards churches were never separated from the states because our founding fathers were a bunch of screaming Evangelical zealots. Washington,Jefferson and Franklin used to picket abortion clinics!
If you don't like the guy who got elected just go to the Supreme Court, or better yet get a bunch of tricked up voting machines and rig the election. That's the way it works here in Backasswards Land!
Always look for the biggest dummy who has no experience for political appointments.
The sign of a robust economy is everybody loses their $50,000 a year "real" job and are forced to work as greeters at Walmart.
The best way to win a war is to declare war on an enemy that has no postal address and will never, ever sign a treaty with you. Losing a war is winning a war in Backasswards Land.
In Backasswards Land, do everything recklessly in a crisis, like a hurricane. Pretend like you don't even notice the catastrophic event, and strum a git-fiddle.
When everyone gets mad at you of being a lazy apathetic commander in chief, then you panic and run down to the scene of the disaster and get a bunch of news photos of you smiling and waving with the wretched of the earth. It's much easier than getting up off your ass and solving a problem! That our Backasswards work ethic. Got it?
How about giving all our jobs to China and forking over our hard earned Social Security money to rich people? That's cool, America is now Backasswards Land, where the guy who gets shot apologizes to the guy who shot him.
The Republicans are right, us liberals just don't "get it".