From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Happy Birthday, George!
The Father of Our Country was born 274 years ago today. If he was still alive, we have no doubt George Washington would call George W. Bush a "lawless scalawag," upon which he would immediately be branded a "Blame-America-Firster" by the right-wing slime machine. Here are some tidbits with which to dazzle your friends...
As president, he established many of the customs we take for granted today. The inaugural address was his idea (although the actual speech was written primarily by James Madison). He also liked to be called "Mr. President, which (when you consider the Senate wanted to call him "His Highness the President of the United States of America, and the Protector of Their Liberties") shows good judgment indeed. During his two terms, he put down a very serious insurrection (The Whiskey Rebellion) and, by acting as referee in their many heated disputes, prevented Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton from tearing each other to pieces.
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You could say George Washington was all the rage---in more ways than one. At the Battle of Kip's Bay, when Connecticut militia retreated from British soldiers without firing a shot, the general exploded with an apoplectic fury, hurling his hat to the ground, swearing himself blue in the face, and cane-whipping everyone within reach.
---From Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents by Cormac O'Brien
While he was largely revered throughout the land, his critics believed he wanted to become another "King George." Many, objecting to the formal courtly style of entertaining reminiscent of the courts of Europe, claimed that Washington had betrayed the Revolution. The Philadelphia Aurora, one of the major opposition papers, in 1796 editorialized: "If ever a nation was debauched by a man, the American nation has been debauched by Washington. If ever a nation was deceived by a man, the American nation has been deceived by Washington. Let his conduct, then, be an example to future ages; let it serve to be a warning that no man may be an idol."
---From Rating the Presidents by William Ridings, Jr. and Stuart McIver
"Jefferson, you're on the two. Hamilton? You get the ten. I'm calling dibs on the one. That's all me, baby. What's that, Adams? You wanted the one? All right, that's it: You don't get to be on anything. That's right. I'm taking back the quarter. Anyone else want to complain? I didn't think so." ---George Washington, 1789
(From America: The Book)
Pay your respects here.
Cheers and Jeers gives tyranny a good cane-whipping in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Note: Now lookit! If I have to stop this blog, it is not going to be pleasant. So settle down back there.
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By the Numbers:
Days `til the Oscars: 11
Days `til Summer: 128
U.S. Olympic gold medal count: 7
Estimated street value of the 135,323 marijuana plants seized by law-enforcement officials in Washington State last year: $270 million
Rank of the pot harvest's value among the state's agricultural commodities, edging out sweet cherries: 8
(Source: Time magazine)
Number of "megachurches" in America: 1,210
(Source: L.A. Times via The Week magazine)
Number of megachurches that worship "The Great Chocolate Labrador Retriever Of The Cosmos": 0
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Your Puppy Pic of the Day: If Dick Cheney was reincarnated as a dog.
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CHEERS to the blog event of the year. Lots of activity yesterday at the Yearly Kos web site. Stop by to see the impressive agenda (did I really volunteer to demonstrate bungee jumping at Hoover Dam? I thought that was a dream.), and if you can drop a shilling or two into the fundraising hat, you'll win an all-expenses paid trip to Goodkarmaland. Clothing optional.
JEERS to violating the golden rule. No, it's not "Do unto others, etc." (how quaint). It's "Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER blow up a holy Islamic shrine. In Samarra---"one of the most violent cities in Iraq"---some idiot forgot the golden rule. And the hornets are swarming:
Shiite protestors took to the streets shortly after the explosion. In Baghdad, militiamen loyal to radical cleric Moktada al-Sadr, who is a fervent believer in the prophecy of the Imam Mahdi, drove through the streets of Sadr City with Kalashnikovs, many accusing the Americans of carrying out the attack.
Time to airlift a new crate of Dr. Phil CDs. Put a rush on it, guys.
CHEERS to differences of opinion. Reason #12,354 why the lefty blogs are better than the righty blogs. I've noticed lately that a recommended diary at DailyKos is often followed by a recommended diary exploring the opposite argument. In Rightwingville, it's shut up and regurgitate the approved talking points. That makes our side of the bloggyworld a democracy and their side a puppet dictatorship. Now go tell everyone you know---exactly as I said it, m'kay?
JEERS to achieving a new level of chutzpah. Okay, let me get this straight: some Malaysian muckety-muck paid Jack Abramoff $1.2 million to get a little private face time with President Bush in hopes of influencing him. That explains our new federal holiday: National Palm Oil Day.
CHEERS to Port au Preznit. Dang that Bush! You might not agree with him, but at least you know where he stands. Fortunately, in the words of Countdown's Keith Olbermann (echoed this morning by Newsweek's Jonathan Alter), he's standing "in the path of a buzzsaw" over the DubaiPortsWorldGate scandal. But C&J thinks it's just a good cop/bad cop act. Bush endears himself to Arabs in the Middle East, and Republicans running for re-election get to look tough on terror. But one thing we'll bet the yacht on: the UAE "folks" won't get as far as unpacking their suitcases here.
P.S. Senator Bill Frist, who now says he's against the president's idea (So's House Speaker Dennis Hastert), couldn't visit each port to inspect their health individually. But he felt secure in his diagnosis after watching this port security video. Right before nappies.
JEERS to hide-and-go-seek-and-go-hide again. Over 55,000 documents declassified by Clinton have now been reclassified on the grounds that... HaHaHa!! Silly me...I thought for a moment they might have had grounds.
CHEERS to the law unintended consequences. Al Franken's latest Huffington Post column is a must read. When Dick Cheney went into hiding after shooting a 78 year-old man in the face, he had no idea that he was transforming his national image from crusty old grandfatherly neocon to clumsy old trigger-happy crazy-uncle drunk. It's neither fair nor accurate...and yet I just can't stop smiling.
JEERS to Starch Wars. Remember how neo-con Republican lunkheads renamed French fries "freedom fries" back when our post-9/11 hysteria was at its height? Well, now Iran's post-cartoon hysteria has resulted in their renaming Danish pastries "Rose of Muhammad pastries." Y'know, I gotta say...freedom fries still sounds sillier.
CHEERS to Massachusetts liberals. Happy 74th Birthday to Senator Ted Kennedy. The knuckledraggers on the right like to use him as the poster child for the nation's ills, but we know better---he's one of the most powerful people in Washington. On the dessert menu tonight: Boston cream pie---a very, very, very thin slice (we need you to stick around a little longer).
JEERS to Oval Office oopsies. A gaggle of historians have weighed in and they agree that James Buchanan's failure to prevent the Civil War is the biggest presidential mistake in history. The rest:
2. Andrew Johnson's decision just after the Civil War to side with Southern whites and oppose improvements in justice for Southern blacks beyond abolishing slavery.
3. Lyndon Johnson allowing the Vietnam war to intensify.
4. Woodrow Wilson's refusal to compromise on the Treaty of Versailles after World War I.
5. Richard Nixon's involvement in the Watergate cover-up.
6. James Madison's failure to keep the United States out of the War of 1812 with Britain.
7. Thomas Jefferson's Embargo Act of 1807, a self-imposed prohibition on trade with Europe during the Napoleonic Wars.
8. John F. Kennedy allowing the Bay of Pigs Invasion that led to the Cuban Missile Crisis.
9. Ronald Reagan and the Iran-Contra Affair, the effort to sell arms to Iran and use the money to finance an armed anti-communist group in Nicaragua.
10. Bill Clinton lying about his affair with Monica Lewinsky
And squeaking in at 11th place: Polk's mullet.
CHEERS to great moments in Olympic history. On February 22, 1980, the U.S. Olympic hockey team surprised the Soviets at Lake Placid, beating them 4-3. We walked around for months afterward wearing our "Puck You, Russia!" T-shirt. If you missed it (the game, not my T-shirt), go rent the DVD of `Miracle.'
JEERS to not-so-great moments in Olympic history. Whoa, dude! I think you're, like, supposed to catch her. That's gonna leave a mark.
JEERS to ruining a good party. Batty Ohio Representative Jean "Cowards Cut And Run But All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt" Schmidt is upset because an advocacy group frosted a cake with her likeness on it. What a waste of a perfectly good cake.
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One Year Ago in C&J: February 22, 2005...
CHEERS to gays in the military. Well, the British military, anyway. The Royal Navy is now actively courting gay recruits. The money quote from Lt. Commander Craig Jones: "People were quite hot under the collar about it; the admirals, generals and air marshals were really concerned. I'm quite sure that these folks look now and think, `What was all that fuss about?'" Hear that, Rummy?
JEERS to the calorie cops. Half a dozen states want fast food joints to post nutrition facts on their menu boards. Can't you people just let us balloon in peace!!?
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And just one more...
CHEERS to peppering the president. David Letterman's Just a Big Bowl of Bad ad for Dick Cheney is priceless. Skip work...skip exercise...skip makin' sweet lovin'...and just enjoy this sure-fire Emmy-winner. Secret memo to the Democrats: Ads like this win elections.
Floor's open. What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless Testimonial:
"Bill in Portland Maine's arrogance and incompetence are stunning."
Senator Susan Collins (R-ME)