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A Democratic state senator from Youngstown, Ohio, has a pretty good sense of humor, according to Knight Ridder

Ohio State Sen. Robert Hagan sent out e-mails to fellow lawmakers late Wednesday night, stating that he intends to "introduce legislation in the near future that would ban households with one or more Republican voters from adopting children or acting as foster parents."
The e-mail ended with a request for co-sponsorship.


Hagan said his legislation was written in response to a bill introduced in the Ohio House this month by state Rep. Ron Hood, R-Ashville, that is aimed at prohibiting gay adoption.

Sen. Hagan notes that it is simply TOO risky to allow Republicans to adopt children:

To further lampoon Hood's bill, Hagan wrote in his mock proposal that "credible research" shows that adopted children raised in Republican households are more at risk for developing "emotional problems, social stigmas, inflated egos, and alarming lack of tolerance for others they deem different than themselves and an air of overconfidence to mask their insecurities."

The senator says he is still seeking co-sponsors.

Senator Hagan's home page:

How about a registry of GOP offenders? Can never keep our kids safe enough from the creeps.

And don't EVEN get me started on Republican drivers.

Originally posted to EZ writer on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 05:40 PM PST.

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Comment Preferences

  •  ha! awesome., (4.00)
    love it.
  •  That's just too funny! (4.00)
    I think we should make it a constitutional amendment!

    The American taxpayers wouldn't object to free transportation for certain government officials if they'd go where we wish they would.

    by PatsBard on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 05:45:32 PM PST

  •  LOL (3.88)
    Snarkarifically fabulous.

    Love it. Hagan - my new hero.

    Let the great world spin for ever down the ringing grooves of change. - Tennyson

    by bumblebums on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 05:45:36 PM PST

  •  LOL (4.00)
    I just spit up my tea!

    "Speaking truth to power"

    by dopper0189 on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 05:48:53 PM PST

  •  The sad thing is... (4.00)
    It's true. Would you want Dick Cheney raising your child?

    "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right." - Salvor Hardin

    by Zackpunk on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 05:53:39 PM PST

    •  Good point. (3.56)
      Look what he ended up with:  A schizophrenic lesbian who dare not speak her own name.
      •  do I call you on this? (4.00)
        yeah, I guess so.

        I can see the a way...IF you had added /snark at the end of the post...or, if you had said, "a lesbian who has such low self-esteem that she would support the most homophobic administration we've seen in years".  

        Or if you indicated that this is a "bad thing" because the last thing a republican would want for a daughter is a lesbian.

        But..."a schizophrenic lesbian who dare not speak her own name"?

        I guess I don't get the "schizophrenic" part, or the "who dare not speak her own name" part.  

        But I get the "lesbian" part...and it just makes you sound like a homophobe...please clear this up so we know you are not.

        •  huh (none)
          But I get the "lesbian" part...and it just makes you sound like a homophobe..

          I don't understand. Using the word lesbian makes one a homophobe now? Please clear this up so we know that's not the case...
          •  oh come on..... (none)
            I realize now that the comment was indeed 'snark', as opposed to implying that Cheney failed by having a daughter that was a lesbian.  I wasn't sure.

            But if you read in my comment that I am taking offense because the word lesbian was used, then I guess I should have more carefully explained myself:  Exhibiting a lesbian daughter as a means of confirming that you wouldn't want Cheney raising your child is something that sounds very much like other comments I read that indeed are based in homophobia.

            When I said that the comment could be taken as 'snark', I imagined that it could be a swipe at the republican or right wing values that clearly would find failure in turning out a lesbian.

            What I find interesting is that your reply to me is based in the same type of (what I consider) feigned ignorance of the implications of the context in which the word "lesbian" was used.

            Clear as mud?  

        •  um (4.00)
          Different words, same meaning.

          You say, "a lesbian who has such low self-esteem that she would support the most homophobic administration we've seen in years".

          He says, "a schizophrenic lesbian who dare not speak her own name".  

          Same thing.

          She's schizophrenic because she's a lesbian and yet she supports an administration that dehumanizes her at every opportunity.  And 'she dare not speak her own name', means she's self loathing.


        •  I guess you don't know much queer history (4.00)
          That is from one of the most famous descriptions of homosexuality in English literature - "the Love that dare not speak its name." It was invoked by Oscar Wilde in his own defense, but it comes from a poem by Lord Alfred Douglas, published in 1894, found here, where there is another God of Love, the silent sorrowful counterpart to the happy Cupid of heterosexual couples.

          In fact, it's so famous as a description of homosexuality that it's easier to find that fact by the handy trick of googling than to find the original poem.

          ...And lo! within the garden of my dream
          I saw two walking on a shining plain
          Of golden light. The one did joyous seem
          And fair and blooming, and a sweet refrain
          Came from his lips; he sang of pretty maids
          And joyous love of comely girl and boy,
          His eyes were bright, and 'mid the dancing blades
          Of golden grass his feet did trip for joy;
          And in his hand he held an ivory lute
          With strings of gold that were as maidens' hair,
          And sang with voice as tuneful as a flute,
          And round his neck three chains of roses were.
          But he that was his comrade walked aside;
          He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes
          Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide
          With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs
          That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white
          Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red
          Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight,
          And yet again unclenched, and his head
          Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death.
          A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold
          With the device of a great snake, whose breath
          Was fiery flame: which when I did behold
          I fell a-weeping, and I cried, 'Sweet youth,
          Tell me why, sad and sighing, thou dost rove
          These pleasent realms? I pray thee speak me sooth
          What is thy name?' He said, 'My name is Love.'
          Then straight the first did turn himself to me
          And cried, 'He lieth, for his name is Shame,
          But I am Love, and I was wont to be
          Alone in this fair garden, till he came
          Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill
          The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.'
          Then sighing, said the other, 'Have thy will,
          I am the love that dare not speak its name.'

          "Don't be a janitor on the Death Star!" - Grey Lady Bast (change @ for AT to email)

          by bellatrys on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 07:11:10 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  Except that Mary Cheney (none)
            seems quite open and matter of fact about her sexual orientation. It's only Democrats who dare not mention it, for fear of being called "mean" by her parents.
            •  And the media too (4.00)
              The main-scheme media was clucking and shaking their heads when poor Mrs. Cheney was saying "Mr. Kerry is a bad man", and I'm screaming at the TV--SOMEBODY ASK THE BITCH IF SHE THINKS KERRY WOULD BELONG TO A PARTY THAT WOULD TRASH HIS OWN KIDS!!!

              And Kerry could have spoken up too. He could have said: The Cheney's stood under the RNC balloon drop without their daughter or her partner, apparently for fear they would be boo'd. I would not belong to such a party, and Mrs. Cheney is a bad woman for belonging to a party that harms her own daughter.

              But I vent.

          •  Blame my drug and alcohol riddled brain (none)
            for failing to make that connection!  I'm well aware of the phrase "love that dare not speak its name"....and I might have been able to somehow connect that to Wilde if I had recognized the reference....but it flew right over my head.  

            But please don't insult my knowledge of queer history...hell, I've been around so long I can boast that I have been part of several bits of queer history:

            I was seen on the news by (ashamed) family members in Missouri when I marched next to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in a HUGE protest march in Dallas during the Republican National Convention of 1984.  (Of course the national news would focus on the outrageous Sisters, much more entertaining then the thousands of other protestors.)  Also of note at that protest, Dr. Spock (the famed baby doctor and author) chopped up an effigy of Reagan with an axe, after which speakers tried to incite the crowd, camped out on the Trinity River bed, to take over the County Prison a block away.  Luckily, the crowd had better sense than to take that dare.

            I wore my Desert Storm uniform with a "gay veteran" pin while participating in the March on Washington in 1993, for which I was rewarded by being allowed to stand right in front of the stage at the end of the Mall while I watched every living gay or lesbian icon of note perform.  Flawless!  Alas, I didn't have a camera with me.

            And finally, I spent a small part of an evening having drinks with The Weather Girls in their dressing room at a performance in San Diego around 1985 or '86...just me and those two divas, in their dressing room, during intermission of a show where they sang, of course, It's Raining Men!  If that isn't gay history, I don't know what is!!!


        •  No, I'm certainly NOT a homophobe, because (none)
          I'm a proud homo myself.  And neither am I a lesbophobe, as I count many lesbians amongst my inner circle of friends.  (Coincidentally, I just spent last weekend away with four of them, and I was the only male in our group of five.)  They don't think much of Mary Cheney either.  Or her nasty mother and father.

          Someone has addressed the "schizophrenic" and "love that dare not speak her own name" issues downthread much more eloquently than I can.  

          I figured everybody would pick up on the Oscar Wilde reference, but I guess not, sorry about that.  At least you asked me the pertinent questions instead of automatically downrating me. Thanks.        

          •  Thank you Busternjake! (none)
            ...for your very civil reply to my (incorrect) accusation.  

            I really wasn't sure how to take your post...and since I've sorta made it my mission here to confront homophobia-based jokes, comments, etc., I went out on a limb and commented...Usually such confrontations end up in an accusation that I am either trying to stop free speech, or I have no sense of humor, while I attempt to explain, for example, how "insulting" Cheney by making the comment, "Cheney is smiling because he is looking forward to the big, black cellmate he will soon be intimate with (when he goes to jail)" is both racist and homophobic.

            Disclaimer:  I hope I don't get troll-rated by someone for using that was actually something that occurred here on KOS.

    •  Zackpunk (3.86)
      Dad, stop waving that shotgun around. Dad! Put that whiskey flask down. And the shotgun.


      Mommmm! Dad shot the cat -- again.

      We can make the world a better place by laying them by the heels. -- Sherlock Holmes

      by Carnacki on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:09:04 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Should they be allowed to keep their own? (3.75)
      Homeschooling by the ignorant; confusing the poor little dears about important concepts like evolution; spreading values like intolerance and greed.

      Look how the Bush family children have turned out.  Not too mention poor self-hating Mary Cheney.  I think leaving innocents in their hands might amount to child abuse.

      -4.50, -5.85 Lies are the new Truth.

      by Dallasdoc on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:36:54 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Good point (4.00)
        Here in Ontario, home schooled children are required to adhere to minimal curriculum standards to ensure that they are not merely being negelected educationally.

        I would hope that, minimally, biology, including the science of evolution -- one of it's central explanatory and investigative tools, is part of such a curriculum.

        ...two nations, divisible by bank account, with liberty and justice for those able to pay the going rate ... Lewis H. Lapham, November 2005

        by Randomizer on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 07:36:42 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Even if there are requirements (none)
          for learning evolution (and there are), there's nothing stopping parents/parentally approved teachers from telling kids that they need to learn stuff to pass tests, but it's not actually true.

          I don't know anything about the frequency of that, but I have heard of it happening, from credible sources even.

          Jumping on the bandwagon: (-3.63, -3.03) - Does that make me part of the right wing here?

          by someone else on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 09:08:28 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

        •  sounds sensible in Ontario, (none)
          though mandating evolution as part of biology would probably not fly in the states because the entire home-schooling movement was based on the fundamentalist notion that the public schools were too secular, not Christian enough.  
    •  Remember (4.00)
      Repugs are more likely to be racist

      With a big ol' lie And a flag and a pie And a mom and a bible Most folks are just liable To buy any line Any place, any time ~ FZ

      by f furney on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 07:23:05 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Might want to add a rider (4.00)
    prohibiting Republicans from marrying for the same reasons.

    The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork -Oscar Wilde

    by Agent of Fortune on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:04:17 PM PST

  •  Here's a link (4.00)

    Let the great world spin for ever down the ringing grooves of change. - Tennyson

    by bumblebums on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:04:54 PM PST

  •  Hilarious! (3.71)
    And the best part is, the bill would probably improve Ohio.
  •  Fucking hilarious! (4.00)
    I would kiss that Senator right now if I could! What a genius!!
  •  God bless that man (4.00)
    Hagan for U.S. Senate!
  •  One word (3.85)
    Rider. Add it to the budget and let it go through. Republicans voted for it so they support it.

    A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

    by Tux on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:11:24 PM PST

  •  A sense of humor (4.00)
    and I'd also call that having some spine.  Who says dems have no spine?

    On Bush: "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --(borrowed from) Churchill

    by joanneleon on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:18:43 PM PST

  •  Chuckle chuckle (4.00)
    Actually, it made my day.  Thanks for the laugh --it's the best medicine.

    And great idea from Tux to bury it in a budget bill.

    <div style="color: #a00000;"> Our... constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. Thurgood Marshal

    by bronte17 on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:24:31 PM PST

  •  Exemption? (4.00)
    The bill should, however, allow cured Republicans to adopt.

    Why is that some Democrats seem to think losing will make them look tougher than will winning? ~Atrios

    by GOTV on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:26:28 PM PST

  •  Seriously, think of the children! (4.00)
    I mean, these Republicans cannot keep their marriages together.

    Republican divorces: (Ok, I don't have this number, but somebody does).  But it is BIG!

    Gay divorces:  I heard there was one couple in my state that began divorce proceedings.  1.

    •  It's worse than that. (4.00)
      Remember, most kids who are abused are abused by individuals who identify as straight (even when the victims are same gender), and also by close family members, not some random stranger.

      Obviously only gay people, married or not, should be allowed to have kids. That, or send them to orphanages.

      (I kid. But still.)

      •  yes (none)
        This senator is brilliant and I hope this gets lots of attention.

        Your comment is right on.  If you want to talk about abuse statistics it's straight people who are the bigger risk to children.  And when I listen to the combative divorced parents and the fighting married parents all around me in the world, I sometimes think only single people should be allowed to have children....

    •  Not to discredit gay marriage in any way, but (none)
      Having one couple begin divorce proceedings doesn't really say a lot about the gay community's level of commitment to monogamy overall, for two main reasons.

      1. There are fewer of them, so there is less of an "outlier" effect, and

      2. The availability of gay marriage is still very very limited (not to mention the level of disdain, if not outright hate present in much of the population), so generally only the most committed would go through the process.

      When gay people can be married by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas, I expect the gay divorce rate to rise significantly.

      Maybe the real solution to the "sanctity of marriage" issue is to outlaw marriage in Nevada.  If Nevadans want to get married, they can make a trip out of state.

      Jumping on the bandwagon: (-3.63, -3.03) - Does that make me part of the right wing here?

      by someone else on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 09:14:01 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  oh, this is beautiful (4.00)
    And a great laugh as well.  Thanks, Senator Hagan!

    And thanks to EZ Writer for bringing it to our attention.

    Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something. -- Thomas A. Edison

    by tvb on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:35:38 PM PST

  •  Republicans don't want to be BORN ! (4.00)
    They fully expect to climb into existence on their bootstraps.  
  •  This is brilliant. (4.00)
    I hope someone co-sponsors this and it actually gets presented. The media will have a field day, and the publicity generated should, of course, ridicule the proposal for being a waste of time - in which case, PERFECT; that's exactly what gay adoption legislation should be seen as.

    My degree and experience in marketing & communications LOVES this idea; how does anyone think it will play in the political arena? For my part, I hope someone co-sponsors. I know if I was a Senator, I would gladly join this idea with tongue proudly planted in cheek. I think it's great.

    •  This is PERFECT! (4.00)
      The only real way to attack these stupid anti-gay bills is to show them for the jokes that they are.  This does so beautifully.  (And also helps inoculate Ohio against its own crazies.)

      We must remember this man's name, and get him to run for national office.  Ohio could do with a U.S. Congressman of his caliber.

      •  He's term limited (none)
        at the end of 2006.
      •  humor is our best weapon (none)
        I see downthread that Hagan is term limited, but I assume that only applies to his State House career.  He's a State Senator, so he's still eligible to run for Congress (we have a surplus of Democrats running for Senate from Ohio right now).

        As various members of the Blue Team have often said--the only two things we consistently do better than the Republicans are humor (especially lightweight satirical humor, which is not quite the same as mindless cruel Coultersnatchian ridicule) and music.  Success in 06 and 08 depends on how well we use those two advantages to win hearts and minds of people who are currently in the middle/on the fence/not with us yet.

        The Daily Show and the Colbert Report have done a lot to inform people about critical political issues while making them laugh at the same time.  Hagan's bill will be the first time some people have heard that state legislatures are proposing bills to stop gays from adopting.  Humor really works, and it's more gentle and accessible than Dems lecturing professorially from on high about what people "ought" to be paying attention to.

        Now if we could just get someone to crank up the volume on one or two good protest songs for the summer radio airwaves we'd be on a roll.  What brilliant young songwriter will come up with the next "For What It's Worth"?.  Or for that matter, can we get one of the top bands to re-record the song?

        Politics is like driving. To go backward, put it in R. To go forward, put it in D. IMPEACH

        by TrueBlueMajority on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 07:19:57 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  No need... (4.00)
    All the republicans are way too busy signing up in the military to worry about having kids.
  •  This fucking rocks! n/t (none)
  •  It's proven (4.00)
    that the children of Republicans also have a higher chance of becoming Republicans themselves.  How is little Johnny ever going to witness a natural union of two equal partners?
  •  This is more than just hilarious (4.00)
    it is political genius, and I hope to see much much more of this.  I argued that while the Missouri We hate Gays amendment was being rammed through we should have been pushing for voter amendments keeping people of different eye color from getting married, etc, etc, etc.  Let people see these things for what they are, stupid hateful bullshit.

    Midwest Center for American Values - Progressive ideas in an easy to swallow pill.

    by ETinKC on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:50:04 PM PST

  •  I am sorry but ... (4.00)
    I cannot condone a bill that prevents anyone from adopting, even Republicans.  It's too cruel.


    Awww, who am I kidding?  It's effing brilliant.

    •  anyone? (none)
      you HAVE to be kidding. Surely wouldn't adopt out to a convicted murder/child sex-offender.
      •  Yeah, yr right, I was kidding. (none)
        I should have said anyone except convicted murderers, sex-offenders, child-abusers, etc. -- but  that would have gotten kind of long...

        By the way, those adoption laws are already in place and in my experience strictly enforced.  (Not that I'm a murderer...)

        •  Hmmm... (4.00)
          Do child abusers have to actually SEE the children their abusing, or does slashing funding for child healthcare, education, and welfare spending count as abuse too?

          It'd be nice if all the Republicans' rants about being an oppressed minority were true...

          "Send lawyers, guns, and money."

          by scottman on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 12:34:45 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  HA! (none)
    That's frickin hilarious!  Of course, it makes just as sense a a gay adoption ban.  How about a constitutional admendment?
  •  What's really messed up is (4.00)
    those perverts CHOOSE to be Republicans.

    And then they go around and try to CONVERT people.

    Can't they keep their filthy lifestyle to themselves and leave all of us normal people alone?

    "The billboards shade the flags they wave. . ." -Bright Eyes (-7.38, -6.82)

    by indiemcemopants on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 06:58:10 PM PST

    •  And the Media... (4.00)
      is in on it.  They constantly undermine morality and what this nation stands for by portraying it as a perfectly natural thing.

      What next?  Books in school Like "Heathers Mommy is in the GOP?"

      As a liberal I have to say that as long as those people keep their lifestyle to themselves, and don't try to corrupt little children, I'm fine with that.

      (But just between you and me... they really creep me out!)

      It is bad foreign policy to make enemies faster than you can kill them.

      by Paulie200 on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 11:16:15 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Yeah.... (4.00)
    ...we need to put GPS on them, keep them more than 1000 feet away from schools, and jail them if they deny that Social Security can be fully funded and New Orleans can be rebuilt, if we just refrain from spending $400 BILLION on foreign adventures.

    "What luck for rulers that men do not think." - Adolf Hitler

    by Bensdad on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 07:00:20 PM PST

  •  Don't let your kids become College Republicans (4.00)
    They have a increased risk of becoming a convicted felon later in life!
  •  I love it! (4.00)
    Now we need to introduce a don't ask don't tell policy for Republicans.  If someone outs you as a Republican, you get kicked into the army.

    "In the beginning the universe was created. This has been widely criticized and generally regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

    by LithiumCola on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 07:08:41 PM PST

  •  right on! (none)

    Why did Jesus overturn the Church money exchange and say to "Destroy This Temple?"

    by a gnostic on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 07:15:34 PM PST

  •  Robert Hagan (none)
    is term limited and thus is done at the end of this year. Some of you are talking about about getting him to run for another office... you should probably hurry up.

    My guess is that he's planning on leaving politics all together (making it ok to pull this kind of shit)

    •  wouldn't blame him... (none)
      i think he could get support nationally if (and only if) he made this little parting jibe into an actual platform of actually speaking his mind on the critical issues at the time.

      but that's probably too much to hope for in america... so i've been led to believe.

    •  career may be over (none)
      Hagan has been around for a while.  He was a state rep from 87-97 and state senator since then.  He lost the Youngstown OH mayor's race in November 2005 to an Independent candidate.  For those that don't know Youngstown is a very Democratic city and a dem losing that election was a bit of an embarassment. He is the brother of Cuyahoga County commsioner Tim Hagan, who was the unsuccesful Dem nominee for gov in 2002.  Hagan lives in the congressional district represented by Tim Ryan, so not likely to challenge there.  He could conceivably run in OH-6, Strickland's district, which borders the district Hagan lives in.  He is probably a bit too liberal for that district overall and after the mayor's race loss, probably wouldn't generate much local enthusiasm.  Not sure of any other local races for him to settle into.
  •  This is such a good tactic (4.00)
    From Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals,

    The sixth rule is: A good tactic is one that your people enjoy. If your people are not having a ball doing it, there is something very wrong with the tactic.

    We are clearly enjoying this tactic. Therefore I hope we can see more like this.

    A word after a word after a word is power. -- Margaret Atwood

    by tmo on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 07:30:07 PM PST

  •  One more law (4.00)
    How about a law for retroactive abortions of Republicans?  You could clean up Ohio politics really easy. :)

    "With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

    by ChgoBrad on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 07:33:00 PM PST

  •  Ya funny as this is... (4.00)
    can it get bigger?  Can it be real?

    Can it be citizen's petitions in various states?

    I'll betcha at the right events we can get the required signatures....???

    That's what the other side is doing.  Maybe we need to take it to them this way.

  •  I sent him a happy email (none)
    and I hope lots of other people do too!
  •  GOP has correlations (none)
    with higher rates of divorce, etc.

    Wouldn't want the kids exposed to that...

    "I desire what is good. Therefore, everyone who does not agree with me is a traitor." King George III

    by ogre on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 07:45:19 PM PST

  •  Opening for a bigger counterattack vs the Right? (4.00)
    In fact, a lot of what Dobson et al. advocate in terms of childrearing is child abuse.  Tarring those homophobes as child abusers, which objectively they are, would certainly put them on the defensive and undercut their legitimacy.

    If only we controlled the airwaves, . . .

  •  I got this.... (4.00)
    ...this morning in an official press release from the state senate's minority spokesperson. Later in the day, I got an explanation of exactly what the intention of it was, complete with parallels drawn between this and the gay adoption bill, so I guess the cranky Republicans must have been whining for an apology again, just like when Paul Hackett said their party had been taken over by extremists (truth).

    We have some real humourists in our state senate. Late last year when it was wasting valuable time talking about regulating the distance between lap dancers and their patrons (while having completely ignored dealing with school funding which has been declared unconstitutional four times), Senator Marc Dann, who is now running for attorney-general on the Democratic ticket, proposed a bill requiring lobbyists to remain six feet from legislators at all times.

    •  you have to be that way, i think (none)
      Being a Democrat in the our Legislature is a position only a masochist could love. From what little I've seen it's pretty awful in there and the odds of changing anything fast are incredibly low. I'm sure there's a lot of gallows humor.

      Six feet at all times... hahahaha. That's awesome. :-)

      The world won't get no better if we just let it be.

      by drewthaler on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 06:53:06 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  At that distance, they really would (none)
        have to throw money at our "public servants".

        The GOP will have to start recruiting more sports stars like they did in PA once Congress enacts fumbling rules that allow any standing member to retrieve your stack of cash if it lays motionless on the floor for more than a second.

        Jumping on the bandwagon: (-3.63, -3.03) - Does that make me part of the right wing here?

        by someone else on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 09:25:25 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  It's so wonderfully Swiftian n/t (4.00)
  •  Give That Man a PROMOTION! (none)
    Do I sniff a future Congressman or even Senator from Ohio...?

    I thiiink I dooooo....

    Mr. Hagan understands the value of speaking out loud about this bigotry. He's got support now from sensible Americans, both gay and straight all over the country.

    That's how it works in 2006.

  •  Help Save the Environment (4.00)
    Sterilize a Republican Today

    To not question your government is unpatriotic. - Chuck Hagel, Rep.

    by perro amarillo on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 08:05:50 PM PST

  •  Three cheers for ridicule!!! (none)
    More needed.  Thanks for sharing the laugh.
  •  What a neat surprise (none) an otherwise grim week. Thank you for posting.

    Always said that we needed a sense of humor to survive in Ohio. (But didn't know it existed in the senate.) Gave him a thank you. If he runs for another office, he's got my support. (Checked his web site - he even belongs to SPLC.)

    The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. Bertrand Russell

    by Psyche on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 08:25:54 PM PST

  •  Now if we could just... (none)
    bar them from reproducing...
  •  I wish someone would introduce a bill barring (none)
    Republicans altogether.

    How freeing it must be to walk through this world heeding neither conscience nor soul. - Rude Pundit

    by pattyp on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 08:43:27 PM PST

  •  It's a Lifestyle Choice--It's Not Natural n/t (none)

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy....--ML King, "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 09:13:29 PM PST

  •  Thanks, EZ writer! Great Diary. (none)
    And thanks to all fellow kossak commenters here! This diary will be a great way for me to get some relatively untroubled sleep tonight. If we can still laugh, the situation isn't completely hopeless.

    Special kudos to retiring State Senator Hagan, a credit to his esteemed family!

  •  Has anyone found a freeper thread on this? (none)
    I'm checking but haven't found one yet. I would love to see their reaction when they see this. I think it would be to funny for some reason.
  •  Bill would bar Republicans from adopting (none)
    When I first saw this diary headline I thought, "Wow, God bless Bill! Here he is on his way with Michael to their Key West vacation and he still had time to ban Republicans from adopting?  How thoughtful of him!  Whatta' guy!"

    But then I realized Bill would not really want to ban Republican adoptions.  I mean, then where would he get all of his material?

    The most un-American thing you can say is, "You can't say that." -G. Keillor

    by Eddie Haskell on Thu Feb 23, 2006 at 09:35:52 PM PST

  •  It's a known fact (4.00)
    that Republicans are more likely to bring up kids who in their adult life turn into chicken-hawks, a two-bird-species-hybrid, getting us one step close to "human animal hybrids", as our president would say.
  •  SNARK MODE=ON (none)
         OK- Only DOS Dinosaurs will get that...

         But it's still funny.

  •  there is a bill... (none)
    I could wholeheartedly endorse!!  now if we can just ban them from reproducing and take both bills nationwide... priceless!
  •  Note to EZ Writer: (none)
    you might consider adding "Ohio House Bill...." to the title

    because I thought Bill from Portland Maine wanted to bar Republicans from adopting.

    It would be so like Bill to do that too.

  •  Woot Woot! (none)

    MATTHEWS says Bush sometimes "glimmers" with "sunny nobility" (Hardball, 10/24/05)

    by Krush on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 12:51:36 AM PST

  •  LOL! I'd co-sponsor (none)
    We need more incisive bits like this to illustrate the Republican hypocrisy.  It might actually start making the people they seek to "win over" feel more uncomfortable with their own prejudices.

    Great find.  Thanks!

    Never, never brave me, nor my fury tempt:
      Downy wings, but wroth they beat;
    Tempest even in reason's seat.

    by GreyHawk on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 04:51:25 AM PST

  •  Let's get at the real problem (none)
    They're especially dangerous to young Republican adoptees and foster kids, the best reason to bar them.

    I, for one, dread being in the shower with Republicans at the club and would never allow my kids to be alone with them.

  •  I heart snarky politicians. (none)
    That is all!

    "I worry a great deal about the future of democracy in America"
    - President of St. Lawrence University Daniel Sullivan at Commencement 2004

    by Team Slacker on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 06:51:03 AM PST

    We have to do a whole lot more if we're going to PROTECT THE CHILDREN!!!
  •  Hate the sin, love the sinner. (none)

    These people (Republicans) are sick.  That's all.  They need treatment.  (It's like alcoholism!)  We really should try to help them change their lifestyle.  And, obviously, I think this bill can do exactly that.  But we also need to support therapy programs, treatment centers and even, ahem, interventions.  And, of course, we should do all of this out of our Christian love for them.

    So, with that in mind, I think the most obvious next step is to revoke health care benefits for the families of open and practicing Republicans.  Not only is there no reason for us to subsidize and therefore implicitly condone that lifestyle with our tax dollars, but it can only serve to help lead them to salvation by causing them to question their choices!

    Oh yeah.  None of this "don't ask, don't tell", wishy-washy liberal thinking either... after all, everybody knows you can always tell a Republican from their behavior.


    (-7.75, -6.05).   Life is like this analogy...

    by shock on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 09:23:37 AM PST

  •  This makes up for Ney and Taft (none)
    I can tell people where I come from again.

    Size 7 1/4 Aluminum Picture Hat

    by fishhawk on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 10:03:15 AM PST

  •  Wow (none)
    Also no viagra for Republicans.  Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

    The shrub needs to be pulled he is terrifying

    by libbie on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 10:03:43 AM PST

  •  Republicanism (none)
    So - these right-wing nutsacks aren't evil - they are incapacitated by their affliction. I like that.

    Canada - where a pack of smokes is ten bucks and a heart transplant is free.

    by dpc on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 10:13:22 AM PST

  •  Newsmeat: GOP Offenders Database (none)

    I hope everyone realizes this is sarcastic, and that we aren't the kind of people who would ever really contemplate this stuff. Which the right wing, however, does....

    9/11 + 4 Years = Katrina... Conservatism Kills.

    by NewDirection on Fri Feb 24, 2006 at 10:33:06 AM PST

  •  Funny... (none)
    Funny because it's so true
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