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I wrote a comment in Maryscott O'Connor's diary earlier today that I think sums up my thoughts at the moment.  

I ache for the people of Darfar and the Sudan.  

I mourn for the destruction we have brought to the people of Iraq.

But the reason why there is no outrage is because, shit man, I am all outraged out.  

I have witnessed the destruction of a city in my own land.  I have witnessed more lies and deceit told by one incompetent administration than told in all history.  I have witnessed incompetence and disregard that led to the worst terrorist attack in all history on Sept. 11, 2001.  I am witnessing my government ending the New Deal while at the same selling our national security to terrorists and calling me a traitor.

I am all outraged out man.  

Bush has made me more liberal, and more isolationaist that ever before.  

America has serious problems.  And I want to take care of them first.  

America is no longer the leader of the world since the world hates us.  

America is no longer the only superpower.  We are just a power like anyone else.

So, Europe, Asia....Darfar is on you.  You fix it.

I am too tired.  I am too outraged out.  I need a break from all the horror.

There was an old Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge was captured by the evil and dastardly Romulans.  They planned to brainwash him to do their bidding back aboard the Enterprise.  And their bidding included killing some leaders and politicians and anyone else who got in the way of the mission.   So to do this they exposed Geordi to all of these horrible images.  

And when we see horrible images or evil things, we react.   Not only are we disgusted and outraged, but literally our heart rate quickens, more bile is produced, etc.  Our body physically reacts to whatever horrors we witness.  

But soon, as we get used to the images, but body gets used to them too.  We become desenstized to it.  Our heart rate slows.   We get calmer as we accept what we witness.  

I feel that has happened to me.  I am burned out on the horror.  At the same time, my job (and career) just took a promising and interesting turn, that requires some immediate and total attention.  

So, this diary will be my last...

...

...

for a while.  No, it is not Goodbye Cruel World.  It is See Ya Later Gator.   And for pure convenience, I am now stating that I am giving up Daily Kos for Lent.  

So see you in 40 days.

Adios.

Originally posted to Delaware Dem on Thu Mar 02, 2006 at 02:19 PM PST.

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