Watching television, we all regularly see commercials for movies. Usually, these are TV spots built with clips from the film, taken from some of the most exciting or funniest segments.
But, occasionally, you'll see a movie promo that has few or no shots of the movie. Instead, it will be video of people, apparently outside a movie theater, being interviewed about how much they love the film being promoted. They'll gush, "Wow! That was the kewlest flick I've ever seen!" "My husband and I have never laughed so hard in a movie!" "Man, that guy who did that thing in that place, that was da bomb! I'm goin' back in to watch it again RIGHT NOW!" Etc., etc., etc.
When you see this type of promo -- that movie is in big, big trouble.
Folks who work in Hollywood know it as a desperation move. Focus groups don't like the pic, critics think it's crap, and ticket sales are circling the bowl. But sometimes the producers just can't let it go, and take one more shot at saving the box-office. So they hire a crew to run down to a theater with a video camera and microphone and buttonhole any schmuck coming out.
They know most people, with a mic shoved in their face, will say something nice, or they'll be encouraged to talk about how terrific the picture was. (The person being interviewed might also be told that the more excited they are or the more positive things they say, the better chance they have of making the cut when the spot runs on TV.)
It's a last gasp; a Hail Mary pass; a throw from the far side of the court with no time left on the clock -- one that usually misses the backboard by a mile. And that brings us to today's press conference by Pretzeldent George W. Bush.
Way back when, even when Bush's favorable ratings were up in the 70's, he hated doing press conferences, and for a very good reason: he sucks at them. He stumbles, sweats, stammers and makes more stupid faces and smirks than Michelle Malkin in front of a strobe light. Sure, the brain-dead Repub-borgs would lap up Bush's act even if he spoke in tongues and pissed himself on national TV. But everyday, ordinary Americans, when confronted by Dubya's incoherent ramblings and pseudo-Texas cornpone, tend to think to themselves, "this guy's a major-league twit."
This is also why the White House stormtroopers usually allow Bush to speak only in carefully controlled settings, and only to handpicked, dedicated, loyal followers and supporters -- you know... morons.
But by speaking to the press today, Bush had to answer (a few) actual questions, causing him to rant and sputter while looking decidedly less than presidential. He just came off looking bad. Really bad. I'm talking Pauly Shore/Dolph Lundgren/buddy-movie baaaaad. Bush's handlers know he absolutely stinks in this venue, so why are they sticking him out in front of the public where we can all watch him hyper-blink and froth at the mouth?
If I had to guess, I'd say it's because his Q-numbers are in freefall, his box-office has crashed through the floor, heading for the basement, and the political version of the Razzie Awards have announced his nomination for Worst. President. Ever.
After yesterday's speech, Bush might get a microscopic bump in the polls for about a day and a half. But I'd bet after that, they're headed back on their inexorable march south. And the more televised press conferences he does, the further those poll numbers will fall.
So... I'll take a large popcorn, large Coke, and a box of chocolate raisins, please, and a seat in the middle of the theater -- this show I gotta see.
(Crossposted at 43rd State Blues: Democracy for Idaho)